Catholic Weddings

Our Priest - Happy :)

I am so happy that I have to share this happiness with you ladies.

Today, FI and I went to meet with the monsignor to discuss some details of the ceremony, decorations, and to ask two questions regarding our pasts and how to prepare for the marriage. 

I was super stressed. The last time I spoke to a priest about something that is very personal was 9 years ago. It was in confession, I spoke of having had sex, and the priest cursed me out. So you can imagine, I WAS STRESSED!

When we came in, we were late, and the monsignor came down and scolded us jokingly.  He then asked us to sit down and just said: "So, shoot!" I told him of my worries, with my FI sitting next to me, and he just listened, smiled and said: "ok, before you start stressing, please believe me that I know how you feel, there are many young women in the same situation, and trust me, it's not that bad"...

I wanted to jump up and give him a hug. I mean, he could be judging us, could be annoyed, could curse us out, but he just said: "Don't worry. I am happy you came to me to speak about this and believe it or not, this really is no big deal. We can handle."

Initially, I thought that I would let MILs friend priest to be our officiant, but now I know I want Monsignor of St. Margaret's to officiate our wedding. I feel that in the next 8 months of planning we will be friends with him and I will be happy to hear him talk to us about our love and marriage and all the important stuff at the ceremony.  I am so happy!!!

Re: Our Priest - Happy :)

  • Theresa626Theresa626
    1000 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I'm really glad things went well for you and the priest was good. I can't believe a priest actually cursed at you in confession!  That is so horrible.  I'm sorry that happened to you. 
  • tnspighttnspight
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Having a good priest makes all of the difference in the world!  Congratulations!
  • ootmother2ootmother2
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
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    edited December 2011
    Good heavens! I thought the damning priest went out ages ago. Congratulations for your monsignor being a real human being and knowing exactly what you want
  • edited December 2011
    The priest who cursed me out was back in Poland. I felt really bad that I gave in to desire and asked a friend of mine what she did when she went to confession. She said she confessed and reminded me that it would be a sacriledge of the sacrament if I did not confess a sin, whether I know I will stop committing it or no. So I confessed, and so did my ex.  I got: "You stupid girl, you have taken heaven away from your partner"  and something to the effect that I followed my lust and dragged him with me.  He got: "Just don't get the girl knocked up".

    This experience pushed me away from church for a while, and now I am coming back, part wanting to have a really beautiful and traditional wedding ceremony, part of me satisfying FIs mom's request who is deeply religious and would not accept our marriage if it was not accepted by church. 

    That being said, I am really positive about the planning and the experience now. The priest just rocks.  He also told us about the Engaged Encounter weekend, and we are doing it in the spring.
  • tnspighttnspight
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I remember you posting that story about the priest saying "Don't knock her up".  That totally sounds like a man's comment not a man of God's.  Again, I'm glad you found a good priest who understands that we aren't perfect.
  • edited December 2011
    Glad you found a great priest :)  What a difference one person can make.
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  • Riss91Riss91
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
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    edited December 2011
    That's really terrific! It's always good to hear of great, kind, caring priests because there are so many that give the church a bad name.
  • edited December 2011
    Glad you have a good priest :)
    Ours is really funny and seems to have a grasp on reality.  My FI and I have been living together for 2 years, dating for 3. There was no question or comments about it, which was nice.
  • edited December 2011
    Ha, when we first went to speak to him, to book the date, he filled out these lil applications, and when he asked me for an addresss, I gave FI a terrified look. Monsignor must have noticed it and when he asked FI about the address, he said: "Address, the same?" and he gave us look with a funny smile. We both blushed, and he said: "you guys are acting like kids, which is good because so many people are caught up in being adult and you can't feel God if you are not like a kid".  That was so nice.
     
  • ootmother2ootmother2
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited December 2011
    e_j,

    Always remember that only you and God know the condition of your soul.  Man, priest or not, can't really know or judge.  Some may try but really, look at the bottom line.

    YOU know
  • clearheavensclearheavens
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited December 2011
    When I read your post, it really hit home because I totally relate.  I was in your shoes before!

    I hope that you can forgive that priest because he forgot first and foremost that acting in the person of Christ, he must reflect the spirit of charity.  You being in confession in a spirit of penance makes God thrilled.  God loves you!  But priests are human.  They can have bad personalities, anger management problems, commit sins, and of course...give awful confessions.  That is why it is also our part to forgive them when they have wronged you.  And this priest definitely wronged you!  I hope that you can start now to forgive this priest, know that your sin was absolved and not let the memory of his words hurt you anymore, and look forward to your continued relationship with God that he so desires.

    fwiw, I go to confession regularly at my archdiocese's cathedral where they have rotating priests there.  Most of the bad confessors are senile old men who lost touch with people skills.  Avoid them at all costs. :P
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  • edited December 2011
    Clearheavens - you are so right... I think that the priest who cursed me out just lost the touch with people.  At that time he was teaching religion classes in my HS (though he did not teach me, because I was already in college when that happened). I can bet he saw a lot of young people who were just not caring for much, ignoring him and his classes and smoking cigarettes behind the teacher's parking lot.  Maybe he wanted good for me, but forgot that this was not the way... No, it does not hurt anymore... over the time it did turn me away from church though. FI and I are moving to the town where we will be getting married, and will live some 1.4 miles from the church where we will be getting married. We decided to start going like at least once a month on Sundays or maybe twice :)
  • clearheavensclearheavens
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so happy to hear you'll be going to Mass as regular as possible.  The Eucharist will reap in many blessings for you and your future husband!  You can read a quick overview about the Mass at http://www.americancatholic.org/newsletters/cu/ac0889.asp to help you understand and appreciate it more. :D
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