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Choosing Bridesmaid Issue?

KrisS24KrisS24
First Comment
in Illinois
So, I recently got engaged and have not asked my bridesmaids to be in the wedding yet. I have been very good friends with one girl since we have been in eighth grade and wanted her to be in the wedding. After thinking about it and convincing from another friend, I should not have her in the wedding because before my fiance and I were even together she slept with him. My other friend suggested to me that I should not have her in the wedding because I would feel horrible looking at wedding pictures and knowing that one of my good friends slept with my husband. I am just really confused because I know she will be really really upset if I do not have her and have other friends who are not as close we are! Give me some suggestions whether I should have her or not and and how I go about talking to her about it!! Please help!
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Re: Choosing Bridesmaid Issue?

  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    These are your bridesmaids, not your friends.If you want her as a bridesmaid, ask her.  Who cares about what he did in the past, nobody is perfect.  As long as he's not sleeping with her now, I don't see a problem.
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  • rachk313rachk313 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you are close friends with her then obviously you are able to look past the history they have. If she is important to you then it's completely understandable to have her as a bridesmaid. However, do not ask her if you only want to in order to spare her feelings. This is your wedding, the only people you need to make happy is yourself and your spouse-to-be. Everyone has a past, and he is marrying you, not her. What happened before he knew you should not be a deciding factor in the quality of friendship you share with this girl. Do what makes you comfortable but I wouldn't hold anything against her.
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  • k_swiss82k_swiss82
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. Whatever your FI and friend had in the past, is in the past. As long as you're not worried about it, then go ahead and have her in your wedding. My brother is marrying a girl who dated his best friend...and he's fine with having him in the wedding. I know that with girls we let our emotions take over more than guys do at times. What it boils down to is this: Does her being in your wedding worry you? (you, not any other friends) and Do you want her in your wedding? Good Luck!
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  • k_swiss82k_swiss82
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    man, I just read my post and it's kinda confusing. Ugh, I'm tired, please excuse it! :)
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry K, did you read my first sentence?Its a grammar teacher's worst nightmare.
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  • k_swiss82k_swiss82
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Shelly, who needs perfect grammar?? lol. :)
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  • KrisS24KrisS24
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your advice! We are good friends! And I am not worried about anything with them! They were only together for about two months, nothing serious!!
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