Central New York

Are hand written thank you notes optional?

We just received a postcard thank you note from a November wedding with a pre-printed generic message. I am kind of offended that we didn't get a personalized one. We drove down to Philly and spent two nights in a hotel to come to their wedding and gave them just as much money as we do for local weddings. I kind of feel unappreciated. Am I wrong to be offended?
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Re: Are hand written thank you notes optional?

  • No way. That's just plain lazy AND rude.
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  • sbolger17sbolger17
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
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    edited January 2012
    Yikes!  That's pretty rude.  Then again, we haven't gotten notes at all yet from a wedding we attended in August and then another one a week after our own!
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  • Definitely rude to not personalize the card, to have no mention of the gift you gave them. I'm still waiting for a thank you card from an October wedding we went to, but I guess it hasn't been that long.
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  • I felt the same way when we got a preprinted thank you from a summer wedding we had gone to this past year. It was beautiful....don't get me wrong....but so generic! I felt like it didn't matter how much effort we had put into their gift because every thank you said the same thing anyway. When it came to my cards....because of the other one I had received....I made it a point to have a few photos on the front and room on the inside to write my note!
  • We got one the other day from a wedding on July 2nd. I thought that was rude. 6 months later, and we are just getting a thank you note?! The thing that gets me is that they are both teachers, so they had two months of doing pretty much nothing before they had to go back to work. 

    But I agree with all the other posters...how rude! 
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  • I feel justified that you agree! My FI just shrugged his shoulders and didn't get why I was upset. I think it's just lazy to not even write out our names or single us out in any way. It's disingenuous to just print our your guest list addresses and slap labels on a stack of postcards. This is now near the top of my list of what NOT to do for my wedding.
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  • bitofritsbitofrits
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
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    edited January 2012
    ...Unfortunately that seems to be the new thing... Out of the last 5 wedding I've been to... 3 of them were just pre-typed messages... I was pretty upset about one in particular that we really went a little crazy for their present... plus their card came like 8 months after their wedding.

    I mean, I can understand maybe a pre-printed inside of a card that says "Thanks for sharing in our special day!" ...HOWEVER you should at least write a handwritten note IN ADDITION TO THAT!  :\  I told FI that IF we have anything pre-typed, we are certainly going to add a personalized handwritten note inside the card as well.
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    Im the odd ball. IMHO, as brides we put sooo much work into our weddings. I myself busted my hump for 2 years planning my wedding. I put a lot of thought into everything I did so that my wedding was my perfect day as well as the most enjoyable day for my guests. THAT, is my thank you for being a part of our day. I, as Im sure most of you did/will do, personally thanked each of my guests for being there to celebrate our day. Had the idea of a postcard crossed my mind earlier, I totally would have done it. Lets be honest, the handwritten notes you do send out, especially for those of us with huge guest lists, become very generic after the first 5 are done anyways. "We're so glad you could be a part of our special day. Thank you so much for the _____. We love it/We'll use it to buy ____" When I get thank yous I know there are about 50 others with the same wording. I dont take offense.

    The only exception for me would have been those who couldn't make it, or those who gave us a holy crap amount/traveled. DHs grandfather missed Easter with his family in Syr so he could travel from NC for the wedding, then gave us $400. Moms bff traveled from TX and did hair for some of my bridesmaids n mom, and still gave us $$. We bought them a frame from our HM and put wedding pics in it with a handwritten thank you.

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