July 21, 2012... So excited!

fruitlupe418

I took the 1st step and put a deposit on my venue!

I am in need of some advice. After, I got engaged I went to him and asked if he will be contributing to my wedding and if so how much (bad idea). He said he couldn't commit to anything (which is fine, bad economy and all), BUT I had a pretty substantial amount of money in a bank account in his name since I first started working when I was 16 years old, and HE SPENT IT ALL. There was enough money in the account to cover 1/2 the cost of the venue.
I never changed the account to my name because I trusted that it would be safe guarded, and I didn't want to spend it on something stupid (seriously regretting that decision).

Here's my delimma: Since he is not contributing to my wedding and spent my money. Am I being unreasonable by not allowing him to invite any of his friends to my wedding?

Madisonpenny

by he do you mean your FI?

fruitlupe418

Sorry, he meaning my father. I feel very angry and betrayed that he spent all the money in the account without telling me. Also, since he won't be contributing I dont think he should be able to invite his friends that my FI and I dont even know. Am I being unreasonable?

avsfan33

He's not paying therefore he has zero say in what happens in your wedding including who is and is not invited.

littlemoments324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_july-21-2012-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:ca81ded9-afdb-4b6f-a3fb-aa9156ca952cPost:f2afb0a6-6316-479f-9b80-930ebd57fa02">Re: July 21, 2012... So excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]He's not paying therefore he has zero say in what happens in your wedding including who is and is not invited.
Posted by avsfan33[/QUOTE]


This exactly!!

Madisonpenny

I dont understand why you would put money in a bank account in his name if you didnt want him to touch it. For exactly what he did, you have no right to getting that money back unfortunately. However, I would tell him you are very hurt and that you were expecting to have that money there for your wedding. I know you said he claims he can't afford to give you anything but I would try to work out a deal where he pays you X amount of dollars a month to try to replace even a little bit of that money.

mrsbunyip

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_july-21-2012-excited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:ca81ded9-afdb-4b6f-a3fb-aa9156ca952cPost:23af5468-1119-47d6-b410-f05eb84ffc21">Re: July 21, 2012... So excited!</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont understand why you would put money in a bank account in his name if you didnt want him to touch it. For exactly what he did, you have no right to getting that money back unfortunately. However, I would tell him you are very hurt and that you were expecting to have that money there for your wedding. I know you said he claims he can't afford to give you anything but I would try to work out a deal where he pays you X amount of dollars a month to try to replace even a little bit of that money.
Posted by Madisonpenny[/QUOTE]
This!<div>
</div><div>And as PP said, if he doesn't contribute anything to your wedding, he has no say in your wedding details, opinions, guests, etc.  This goes for parents and other family members as well.  Invite whomever you like, and don't invite anyone you don't want to.</div>

Bena29

No Money no say sweetie. That's it. It is so sad that he spent all your money but I have seen a lot of situations where this has happened but it was also because this person was your guardian and they could have very well used the money along the way for things you needed(food,shelter,clothes etc....)not always the case but definitely a sure possibility. Getting back to the point if he doesn't put in anything he can't invite because those are more mouths that you have to feed or let him know that if he insists on inviting these people let him pay each person's head that he invites and make sure he gives you the money before the invites go out.