Kids vs. No Kids

JustKate

We said no kids and now we are getting some push back from immediate family.  I've even been told that some may not come if they can't bring their kids.  I am so torn because I'm close to my siblings and my nieces.  My fiance is not close to his siblings and his nieces and nephews so he doesn't understand.  I didn't think that no kids would also exclude my immediate family but that's what my fiance understood.  We've now gone back and forth with it so no matter what I do, someone is going to be angry with me.  My fiance will be angry if I tell my nieces to come and the rest of my family will be angry if I tell them not to come.  Who do you side with? 

x3Harmony534

Can you have an onsite babysitter to watch the kids? Where is your ceremony? if there's extra space just hire a sitter & make it the "kids room". Order pizza so you won't have to pay for catering meals. Or just do a "kids table" and have someone man it. Regardless of what other people think you have to do what works best for YOU & your fiancé, if it's really that important for other family members to be there - they can hire their own sitter for the night. It's not unheard of to not allow kids at a wedding. 

JustKate

Our venue is not kid friendly.  We selected the venue for that exactly that reason, we wanted to give the adults a night out.  Kids don't understand what a wedding is at this age and I don't feel that we should pay $40 per plate for a kid to eat when we are already on a strict budget.  At the same time, they are my nieces and I love them but they just don't fit into the plan on this event. 

tbianco

We're in the same situation -- no kids. But we're also getting some push back from my in-laws about my fiances' niece and a few of his cousins. To keep the peace, we're hiring an babysitter to watch the kids at a hotel across the street. Honestly, the kids don't care about the wedding, it's the parents, and they'll probably have more fun with a sitter.

tasharocks

i think it would be kinda wrong to invite your nieces but not his. you made the decision to not invite kids, of course there will be objections. that doesn't make your choice wrong. you're not going to please everyone, and people are going to accept or decline an invite for various reasons.

meghanmcadams

How many kids would you be looking at? Ages?


We had the same problem, especially because we are including my goddaughter and his 2 nieces and 2 nephews in the wedding. We decided to invite cousins children as well, but our venue is offering a $12.99 kids plate. WIth that there are actually 4 we didn't invite their kids, they all live far and doubt they are coming anyways, and figure we can include them if they ask. They are all over 12 and we don't want to pay $55 per head for them.

Megs30

I have been getting a little push back as well.  A lot of our guests are coming from out of state so they are making a vacation out of it and taking their kids to Disney, etc.  My mom keeps asking me what she is supposed to tell people who ask about their children not be invited.  I have told her that it is my wedding and FI and my decision.  We will be happy to find sitter services for their children while they are at the wedding and reception.  And if they won't attend because their children are invited then they will be missed but that is their decision.  If they really want to attend then they will.

GL!

Britt1406

Originally Fi and I said no kids also, but I would feel bad telling my sister that she cannot bring my 2 nieces (which one will only be about 3 months old) and my aunt might bring my cousin (who is 12) down from Ohio. I think what we might do is just address the inivitation to the adults only and then see who responds with bringing kids. So, if there isn't too many we probably will just deal with it and not worry about telling them no.

JustKate

If my immediate family's kids are invited, his will be too.  That's only fair.  The problem is that he isn't close to his so he has no problem not inviting them where I am close so I am feeling a bit sad that my nieces will not get to be there.  My nieces are 12, 11 and 9.  I also have a daughter that is close to my nieces that is 9 who will definitely be attending.  Fiance feels like if we open the invititation for kids to immediate family then it would only be fair to open it to all invited.  I feel like there are those that are most important to be there on that day (moms, dads, siblings (and if that means siblings' kids, then so be it) and grandparents.  If other people can't make it because of the rules we set or the things we are asking, then that's their loss.  In the end, it's the day that I'm getting married and family should be a little more understanding.  So, what exactly is crossing the line when it comes to inviting some kids and not others?

meghanmcadams

I think it is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Are they going to know until that day that you invited your nieces and not his? My philosphy with our wedding is it is our day, and we want the most important people there. If your nieces are important then have them!

Megs30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_kids-vs-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:66Discussion:a81ba7cc-2ad0-4bca-bf24-1a7726a2e10bPost:5e821480-d56e-4eba-8425-d8a9877e7c97">Re: Kids vs. No Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Are they going to know until that day that you invited your nieces and not his? My philosphy with our wedding is it is our day, and we want the most important people there. If your nieces are important then have them!
Posted by meghanmcadams[/QUOTE]

Agreed

ashbosity

I really think that if you have some kids, you should allow all kids. How pissed would you be if you made major arrangements to leave your kids behind and get to the wedding and there are 12 other kids there? That being said, several of my friends whose kids are invited to my wedding are choosing to leave their kids at home and have a night out without them. My caterer also offers a half price option for the buffet or a plated option of chicken fingers or mac and cheese or similar stuff for really cheap (I think like $7). I like xHarmony's idea of the kids room with pizza and a sitter. The money you'd save on catering food would probably pay for the sitter.

SarahSmile23

i agree. all kids or no kids.

btw, i strongly support sticking to your guns and saying no kids. we did it. we did get some backlash, but people chilled out eventually and nobody declined.