NOT going to the honeymoon straightaway?

TinaLatina

Hi there Knotties!
My fiance and I are Christians, so we both have/are remaining pure [virgins] until we get married.
I really don't like the idea of going to a hotel/bed and breakfast/anywhere for our wedding night.
I want us to be at the apartment we bought together for maybe 2 days before we go off to our honeymoon.
I know it's less romantic than a hotel or bed and breakfast, but is it tacky/foolish/extremely unromantic?
I planned on making the whole place look romantic, candles, lighting, music, everything.
I just feel like having the first moment as husband and wife should not be spent in a place where thousands of other people have slept in the same bed and a place that you'll likely never be in again to begin with.
My mother goes on and on and on about how unromantic that would be and how much of a buzzkill it would be and how it would make a bad start to our marriage.
What do you think?
Have you ever heard of not going straightaway to the honeymoon?

Ginabean2011

Of course not! I think your ideas sound lovely. We are going on our honeymoon probably 10 days after our wedding, and we haven't decided on whether or not to get a hotel on our wedding night yet. You guys should do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Amivy06

You do not have to leave right away for the HM or even get a place to stay the night of the wedding. Your plans sound perfectly fine and I would not worry about what your mom has to say. It actually sounds like it will be more special since you will be staying in YOUR apartment! 

mysticl

There is nothing wrong with that idea.  In fact since you are both waiting it will probably make you much more comfortable to be in "your" place than in a hotel.  FI are going to spend the night at a hotel but probably won't leave on Honeymoon for a day or 2.  Family will still be in town for a day or two after so we at least need to have breakfast or something with them. 

It's your wedding and your marriage do what the 2 of you want to do.

adupuy

I am the same- Both Christians, both waiting. I really plan to stay home the first night. I totally agree that it would be more special to be in your own home for the first night than some random room you may never see again. 

SueR13

Sounds very romantic to spend your very first night together in your own home.

We're not going on our honeymoon for nearly a month because of some family obligations and other reasons. We're spending the weekend with our family, though, after the wedding... so we'll stay at the hotel where they're staying to make things easier.

MollyW318

We're staying at a hotel just because we won't actually live in our hometown at the time of the wedding but we're getting married in January and not going on our honeymoon until May (fiance has to finish his last semester of school).  I don't think it makes it any less romantic.

kaesha

I don't think where you do it the first time makes nearly as much difference as the emotions involved. Romance is a mindset not a location. Frankly, the first time kinda sucks (you'll both probably be nervous, etc, etc), and I'd hate to associate an expensive hotel room with not having tons of fun.

FWIW, lots of girls postpone their honeymoons (for months or years) for lots of reasons.

alithebride

if that's what you want to do then do it! it dosen't matter what I think.

iarguello

Why do brides feel the need to pair, "we're virgins," with "we're Christian?" My FH and I are both virgins, yet we are not Christian,- I like seeing that there are other people waiting as well as "old fashioned" as it may be. Don't worry about your first time being awkward- I'm not- things will come across natually- and your reasoning for wanting to have the first night in marriage bed is beautiful, we're contemplating the same thing.

jnc1113

We won't be going on our honeymoon for five months after the wedding due to work/family/other commitments, so i don't see anything wrong with spending a night or two....or 150+.....at home first!!!!

mellyb1978

Nothing wrong with that at all!  We're getting married in Sept. and not taking honeymoon until January.

Best of luck to you both!

SarahM2012

We aren't going for about a year and a half after the wedding. So it's more like a anniversery trip then a honeymoon. But between work, family and lack of funds (we're paying for most of the wedding) it's just not going to work out. 

As for your plan; go for it. Do what works for you.

donnaoneill

I don't think spending the night at your apartment is tacky or unromantic. We're both Christian but not virgins, so it's not our first time. We're spending the night at our apartment and then flying out the next day to our short vegas honeymoon. Honestly, I've been hearing from so many recent brides that they we so tired after the wedding they just went home an slept, so I think I'm going to be in that boat. I don't plan on getting home until 1:30 a.m. and I usually go to bed at 10:30. Plus our flight leaves in the morning. I'm not worried about it. I think you should take your time and feel comfortable, which is best in your own bed without noisy strangers in the hallway of your hotel room.

APW2010

I think you are making the right choice, you are likely to be nervous enough about it, and being in a comfortable environment that you have made romantic in the way that exactly suits you will make everything much more special, in my opinion. And, you can recreate this special, intimate moment any time you want in the future if it is at home.

It seems like by far the majority of couples wait at least a couple of days before leaving on the honeymoon, and lots of people wait longer than that - not weird at all.

cal23x

Hey,

   first congrats and 2ndly this will be a moment for you two to enjoy so i say go with what you want to do and make it meaningful...i think its an awesome idea...definitely a lasting impression

cal23x

To sarah money should not be an issue...find a nice lillte place in your state and drive there....that is if you want...

superheroprincess

I think that having your first time at home is amazingly romantic... 
I've been living with FI for over 6 years so we're getting a hotel room because for us our house isn't as special as it is for you but your first time in your first home together is the best way to go.. and of course you're more comfortable and if you need something you know you can find it.

bigvoice3

FWIW, My DH and I waited as well.  We got a really nice room at a local hotel (the presidential suite...double shower, jacuzzi, plush king bed), and we had a great first night there.

We waited a week to go on the honeymoon b/c of my school/work, but we did spend the first night somewhere in the town we got married in.

It was super great to feel like we were away from everything.  It was just as romantic to be in that hotel room that it was at home or in Hawaii on our honeymoon.

Your first time is special with the one you love regardless of the place. If you really want to go home, go home.  But if you want to be somewhere else, you won't be thinking "Oh my, we are the 1000th couple to be here in this bed."  You will be thinking of your hubby. 

And from one virgin bride to another...use lots of lube!  It really helps!  Take a nice warm bath together when you get home (will relax all your muscles down there), drink a glass of wine (if you drink), and then take it slow...but please for the love of your hooha, use lube.

nsimon

Because of my school schedule we are waiting a whole month to go on our honeymoon... I'm actually excited to be able to relax a little in our own home!

And your plan sounds way more romantic than any hotel could ever be. Remember in the end that it is your decision, and the only way to make a bad start to your marriage is to adhere to what everyone else thinks is the right thing to do instead of listening to what you and your future husband want.

amatadei

One piece of advise if you want to have the whole candle lit romantic ambiance.... Have someone else set it up... perhaps your MOH? Have her leave the party about 10 minutes ahead of you guys with your keys and set up the the place (and then LEAVE!) so that, from the moment you walk in the door, it's about romance and creating that memory that you are craving. It will be a bit of a buzz-kill if you come home to the same apartment you left that morning when all you want in the world is to remain in that newly wedded euphoria. This is especially helpful to keeping both your nerves in check-- if he has to sit out in the living room waiting while you light candles, dim the lights, sprinkle rose petals, put on something sexy, etc, it's going to amp up his anxiety and yours as well. It would be much more calming and romantic to come home in your tux and wedding gown to a candle-lit apartment and then slowly undress each other and explore the wonderful bodies God has created and gifted to the two of you as man and wife.

sabatron

I think it's a really cool idea to do your own thing before the honeymoon.  It's more sentimental that way. It will be memorable no matter what.

Chasity08

We moved our wedding date up to June, but decided that June is WAYYY to touristy in Europe for our tastes, so we're sticking with our original honeymoon date in October, so we'll be waiting...about 3 1/2 months before we take our honeymoon. Nothing wrong with putting it off. =]

TinaLatina

I feel a lot better [my mother was REALLY stressing me and telling me how INCREDIBLY UNROMANTIC it would be] about the whole situation.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't have a problem with going home the first night.
Thanks so much for the input/opinions/tips/etc ladies! That really helped

andreadery

We're not taking our honeymoon right away either. Mainly because we just cannot afford it (we're paying for our own wedding) We hope to take a little getaway within the first 6 months of tying the knot. I honestly think honeymoons are a bit of a waste of money. As long as you guys are together then why does it matter if you spend $3+ grand? I'd rather enjoy my husband at home for free