Married Knotties: Did you stick to your budget?

xt5678

I'm curious what married knotties set their budget at and how much they went over or under if at all? (If you don't want to share the exact budget amount, just the amount over, under or match is fine) And if you went over or under, what was the item or cost that put you there?

FI and I set a rough budget of $10k and am ALREADY having trouble sticking to it. I'm trying to figure out if that's a realistic budget for a wedding of 175 people. It's hard to figure out all the money stuff! Both of our parents are divorced and everyone is chipping in some money but have not specified the amount. We are SO grateful to receive any amount, but it's hard to determine a budget without knowing how much we are working with. It would be great if we could sit down with everyone and have a frank talk about money, figure out a budget together, etc., but because each set of our parents do not get along with their divorced partner, that's not likely to happen. This fact also makes it hard to involve everyone in planning and the parents have really backed up and let us do things. Guidance would be much appreciated!

AddieL73

We went over by a little bit, but not by much. 

You at least need to sit down with anyone who is contributing and find out exactly how much. It's not practical to proceed unless you know your exact budget. 

StageManager14

We figured out how much money we could afford to save each month, multiplied that by the number of months in our engagement and that was our budget. Then we made a preliminary guestlist, figured out how how much that broke down to per person, and that let is figure out if we could to a full meal or needed to do the wedding at an off meal time to save money. As far as going over, I personally have no concept of how that happens because we literally COULDN'T go over. If something cost more than was in the budget, we didn't get it. Period. We started out with a 10k budget, but 5 months out, the economy nose dived, causing H and I to both take cuts at work and also meaning H suddenly had to pay several thousand dollars to complete his teaching certification that the school was initially paying. That brought our budget down to 5k. Of that, we'd already spent a little over 2k on my attire and the WP's attire, so we had to completely replan. We didn't have a "going over budget" option, so we changed reception venues, changed to an afternoon wedding and just did finger foods and cake, cut the DJ and the florist, and 80 of the decorations to make our budget. We also booked a cheap hotel for our wedding night and skipped on renting a town car and driver per our original plan. In the end, we spent 4200 and had 800 left over for a 4 day mini honeymoon in Branson.

StageManager14

Also, we had a guestlist of almost 200, with 120 RSVPing yes. As far as setting your budget, where did you come up with 10k? You need to know how much money is AVAILABLE to set your budget, it's not a random number you pick out of thin air.

mhellmuth

I did my entire wedding on a budget. I did as much as I could myself.  We had 150 guests, had prime rib, top shelf open bar for 6 hours, and a live band. Our entire wedding ended up costing aroun $17,000. Check out my wedding here. http://happinessiscreating.com/my-wedding/

libby2483

We originally thought our budget would be around $15,000.  After choosing a venue and finalizing our guest list, we realized that it would probably be closer to $18,000.  All in all, we ended up going over by about $1,000.  However, it is important to note that we didn't actually have a strict budget.  It wasn't a case of, well we have X amount of money and we can't go over that because that is all there is.  My parents, who generously paid for almost all of the wedding, just told us that they would pay for whatever they found reasonable, and we would only need to pay if we really wanted a certain aspect that was over the top and they considered really extravagent. 

If your parents have already explicitly said that they are willing to help, I think it is okay to sit down with them and ask how they would like to contribute.  Maybe say something like, "I know you mentioned that you would like to help with the wedding before.  We are starting to plan and book vendors, so we were wondering if there was a certain aspect you would like to contribue to?"  Then see where the conversation goes from there.  It is rude to ask people for money, but since they have already volunteered to help, I think having a discussion about the logistics of it is fine. 

AddieL73

In Response to Re:Married Knotties: Did you stick to your budget?:

Also, we had a guestlist of almost 200, with 120 RSVPing yes. As far as setting your budget, where did you come up with 10k? You need to know how much money is AVAILABLE to set your budget, it's not a random number you pick out of thin air.
Posted by StageManager14

Yeah, I was kind of wondering that,too. If you just guesstimated that's what you'd like to spend and what you guess it will cost, that's not a budget until that's how much money you HAVE. Until then, that's just a guess on what you think your wedding might cost. 

JadziaDax

I agree that you need to speak with everyone to discuss your budget. I would do this alone with each person and wouldn't even mention budget/contributions unless the person specifically said he/she is going to contribute. 

It was pretty hard for us to stick to a budget, but I tried my best. Our budget kept growing and growing but having a smaller wedding, with 75 people max, worked in our favor. At the end, we were pretty much on budget, but our DJ was much more expensive than we anticipated. We decided to have uplighting, screens (slideshow) and my husband added extra lighting last minute. 

sierraberry32

We really didn't budget, we just kept things cheap! My parents did donate two thousand, and we are using that for the "bigger" things like a DJ, catering, my dress, rentals and the venue. But other than that we have almost all our decor already purchased, we just bought little by little and by doing that we are still are able to pay our bills and make it by just fine!! 

HobokenBride2012

Our original budget was 15K but that was before I did my research.  I quickly learned that in my area the reception would cost 15k alone (and that was keeping it cheap)  So we doubled the budget and went from there.  IBH our wedding took on a life of it's own and we spent just under 40K but it was everything we wanted so I don't complain about it. 

trmluttrell

I am not married yet however I found this website http://www.costofwedding.com/ and it gives you an idea of what brides in your area actually spend. It breaks down the spending into the different aspects of the wedding. This could be a starting point. Also I read the national average for cost per guest on a wedding is $119. This is the total cost of everything from venues, rentals, food, bar, dress, flowers etc. If you multiple that by the number of guest you are thinking that may help you too. But like someone mentioned above it is really important to determine just how much you have to spend/how much you can save between now and the wedding and go from there. That's what we are trying any way :)

CA.Giraffe

DH and I planned our wedding in just under 8 weeks. We set our budget at 2,000, because that was what we had available and we didn't expect or receive any assistance from our families. We purchased our house in November, love to travel, and have three kids; we couldn't really justify spending thousands on a party that would only last a few hours when we have so many things we'd love to invest the money into. We kept our guest list to family only; this gave us 51 people, which was as many as we were willing to host. We had 100 percent RSVP and attend. Our final total was 1,978, according to my spreadsheet.

Liatris2010

We set a budget and were planning a more casual lunch affair, but my mom wanted us to have something fancier, as is the norm in that neck of the city, and so she offered us a big chunk of change for catering. With that budget, we came in just under. We had a lot of declines, so the food was less than we expected, and we were able to stick to our budget everywhere else. Better to have money left over than to be unable to pay. We still spent between 50-75% of what the average wedding in our area (NJ) costs just by looking for good deals and cutting things that weren't important to us.

scribe95

We sat down with my parents (who offered to pay for a large part of the wedding) and decided on a reasonable amount. It was about $12,000. The bulk of that (from a cashed out life insurance policy they had on me since I was a child and now I have my own life insurance so we decided to use that money) was placed in a joint account that me and my mom could access via a debit card because we were in different states. They added a little more each month to get it to the full amount. In the meantime I also set aside $2,000 of my own for some items.

All in all, we came in under budget by a few thousand. It was mostly related to us figuring for 200 guests but getting 170 (travel was required for mostly everyone so we knew we would be a bit under).

OliveOilsMom

We went about 5k above our budget, but that was because I randomly picked a number out of the air and quickly realized that just wasn't going to happen.  My parents generously paid for the reception and my gown.  I am a bargain shopper and used friends' talents (when offered) to help keep my costs down by DIYing what I could. 

What really put us above my randomly picked budget was our photographer.  I just had no idea how much photographers charged.  I used the same one as my friend did 4 year prior.  But 4 years ago she was just starting out and her prices reflected that.  Now 4 years later, her experience is shown in her pricing.  My friend was shocked at how much her prices had increased.  But I was set on her and she is/was awesome and worth every penny!

I did save money by using the fake floral centerpieces my reception hall provided.  So I only paid for bouquets, bouts, and a few small arrangements for the church.  We also could have saved money buy not having the limo bus, but we wanted our entire WP with us including our parents in the limo.  And with my MILs hip, no way would she have been able to climb into a strech limo of any kind.  So we made sure we had one that was easy to get in/out of.

Above all, if my parents did not generously pay for the reception, we would probably still be engaged now, having a 2 year engagement to save money and pay for the wedding.

GoodLuckBear14

We went about 30% over.

bunni727

We did our budget the way Stage suggested: amount you can save in a month x months in engagement= budget. Keep in mind that not all of your expenses will be paid on the wedding day, most will need deposits well in advance.

Our budget was originally $2500. My parents offered to buy my dress, up to $1000. My dress was only $500, so they let us use the rest to upgrade flowers and cake. So I guess we didn't so much go over budget, as we just had our budget raised unexpectedly.

cmgilpin

We really didn't want to spend more than $8K on the wedding.  We actually ended up spending about $13K.  I don't see that as not sticking to the budget, I see that as raising the budget.  When we realized that some things were going to be more expensive than we thought, or we decided to add some things, we increased our budget.   Luckily, we had the money to do that.

mcda04

Our original budget was 25K but our wedding date was 9-21-13. After talking to our families and setting our priorities, we decided to nix the fancy reception and have an intimate wedding on 9-29-12. Well moving the wedding up a whole year made us cut the budget more than half, we spent a little under 10K.

I didn't have favors or a big fancy country club like I initially wanted. If I could do it again; I would do it exactly the same. I found a small banquet hall close by that offered all inclusive packages and booked for $5,600, the rest of our money we spent on attire, alcohol, dj, flowers, photo / video, and cake.

SomethingBeautiful08

Yes and no.  Yes we stuck to our "budget" in that at the end of the wedding, we could pay all the bills out of the "wedding fund" that we had set up ( a seperate joint checking account that we paid all the wedding bills out of and put all the money set aside for the wedding in).  I never did actually tally the numbers but I'm pretty sure that the final amount of everything was more then we had planned, though it didn't cost us more because we had several cost that others unexpectedly covered.  My in-laws covered the cost of the reception decor and rehursal dinner. 

I would highly recomend starting with what you KNOW you are going to have and let that amount determine the big stuff, like the general type (full dinner, lunch etc) and venue.  In general stuff will probably cost more then you think, but only you can do the research to get an idea of what stuff cost and where you can save, though the local boards can help out a lot.

krizzo17

We raised our original budget as well. My husband had inherited some money, and he wanted to split it between the wedding, honeymoon, and a downpayment on a house. I knew I could spend a lot more on the wedding, but originally I said I couldn't really see myself spending more than $10k. Well, we found a venue we really loved, and upped the guest list a little, and then raised our budget to $15k - but this was before booking anything, so I see it more as an adjustment than going over. Once we had the $15k budget, we stuck to it - I think we even came in a little bit under. Also, that was the total cost - my parents ended up covering some of the expenses (my dress, flowers, tips), so rather than reallocating that money to another catagory, we kept all of our other choices the same. I think we ended up spending about $12k ourselves. Same with the honeymoon - several people covered our airfare and first week's hotel, but we didn't then spend that money on other things - we had planned on paying for everything we got ourselves from the beginning.

Sierra524

In Response to Re: Married Knotties: Did you stick to your budget?:

We really didn't budget, we just kept things cheap! My parents did donate two thousand, and we are using that for the "bigger" things like a DJ, catering, my dress, rentals and the venue. But other than that we have almost all our decor already purchased, we just bought little by little and by doing that we are still are able to pay our bills and make it by just fine!! 
Posted by sierraberry32

This is exactly what I am doing. We dont have a set budget. We know who is contributing for what, other than that, we dont buy anything we cant pay for up front. && we are keeping things as cheap as possible. Ive been engaged since March and I still have 7 months to my wedding. Having a long engagement is allowing me to purchase things as we go, all at seperate times. My FI and I agreed that from here on out, every week when we get paid we have to buy something for the wedding, or put some $ aside for the wedding. Even if its just something small, we still have to buy it.

dalm0m

When I set my budget I guessed how much things would cost, then rounded up.  We also invited & budgeted for inviting people with a +1 / guest but the majority of people didn't take us up on that so we ended up about 20% under budget.  You cannot count on that. 

We then blew any idea of savings because the HM was almost double what we expected. 

zantster

PPs have answered most of your questions, so I would just say from the perspective of someone still in the planning stages to make sure you only count the money that you and your FI have control over when planning.  So, regardless of what your family promises you, do not put down deposits based on verbal assurances.  Until it's in you and your FI's pocket it doesn't exist.  People say one thing and then change their minds all the time for various reasons or emergencies that pop up regardless of their good intentions.  It's not about trust.  It's just that sh*& happens.  And you don't want to get into debt because you thought someone was going to give you something that didn't materialize.

aardvark2009

I had a budget of under 5k and I was able to stick with it. We had about 200 guests. The key I believe in is how much do you want to stick to your agreed budget? As always sacrifices have to be made in order to stick to a budget. A lot of brides I know go over their budget because they refused to compromise or sacrifice.

dem068

I would also recommend starting to price things out a little (ie, talk to photographers, cake people, florist, band/dj, etc) to get some sort of idea of how much things cost and set then figure out how much you can/want to spend.  We set a budget (I basically picked a number out of thin air), and it ended up being totally unrealistic based on how much things cost in New York.  Luckily both of our parents contributed, so we set a new budget and are staying under that

flash8785

I went over my budget by $5,000, but it was a destination wedding in Kauai, so I hadn't included some travel costs into my initial budget.  I found a lot of great cost-cutting tips along the way.

 One of the parts of my wedding that was most stressful for my budget was all of the stationary.  To save money, I had a graphic designer on Etsy make a custom design for all of my paper products (save the dates, invites, RSVP cards, etc.)  Then I printed them myself through Vistaprint, but you could also use Costco, Target, or your own printer.  TIP: sign up for Vistaprint's email address - they send out a million coupons!

This saved me a TON!!!  I wanted to share the idea in case others needed some ideas for cutting back as well.

Here's an Etsy shop that I think is adorable, and they do custom designs as well:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/BridgetownBridal