Honeymoon Discussions

my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon

My fiance and I are planning to go to disneyworld for our honeymoon. Since my mother also plans to take time off because of my wedding she and the rest of the family are going too. Though she claims she is going to stay in a different hotel it still somewhat bothers me knowing I might run into them during my honeymoon. Am I being selfish to tell her to not come to disneyworld while we are there or will it not be a big deal?

Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon

  • Also I would like to mention that I. Also live with her and the family along with my fiance to save up for the wedding and a new home and I just want plenty of time and space away from them and just with my new husband for at least a week :p
  • I think its a big deal. I would be really upset if my mom decided to follow me on my honeymoon, regardless if they were staying at a different hotel. If you havent booked already, I would go somewhere else.
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  • meganb1977meganb1977 member
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    edited August 2012
    I don't blame you for wanting time just for you and your new husband!  Technically, it's your family's prerogative to go to Disney World if they want to, but I don't think you'd be unreasonable to express your concerns to them that you don't want your honeymoon to turn into a family affair.

    Disney World is a pretty big place with lots of crowds so as long as you don't think your family would be nosey or pushy about spending time with you, it shouldn't be a problem as long as you can laugh off any chance encounters.  The day after my wedding, my sister and her now-fiance were on a flight home from the wedding which left within fifteen minutes of the flight on which my new husband and I were leaving for our honeymoon.  It turned out to be kind of funny when they saw us standing in the security line as they were heading to the kiosk to check in.  But I'm fortunate that my sister isn't pushy or nosey, so we were able to laugh over it and it wasn't any trouble.

    If you feel like your family is pushy/nosey and might be purposely following you, you do need to be concerned about setting boundaries with them and it might help to talk to a minister, counselor, or wise relative to get some guidance.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    edited August 2012
    Have you been to WDW before?  I've been there 5 times and I couldn't run into someone accidently if I tried.  You guys should keep your hotel private so they don't accidently end up in the same one.

    You can also keep your ears open to what their travel plans are and use that to your advantage.

    ETA - I do think it is less than thoughtful for your mom to be following you.
  • While I think it's crappy of your mom to plan a family vacay to WDW at the same time as your HM, there really isn't much you can do besides voicing to her that you were hoping for some time away with just you and your H.

    I agree with the others to not publicize what days you're doing things, when you have dinner reservations or what your hotel is. That way they can't "accidentally" do those things at the same time. Having said that, WDW is huge and crazy busy. The likelihood of you running into them is extremely slim. If that happens, I'd say hi, shoot the breeze for a minute or two, then say, "Ok we're going to get going" and move on.


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  • Just don't tell them where you're staying and you'll be fine.  I doubt you'll ever see them.
  • I havent booked my honeymoon yet, though now it seems my mom is trying to push me from not going to disneyworld. She's saying how the afternoon thunderstorms won't be romantic for my honeymoon and I shouldn't go (which im fine with I have ponchos Tongue Out). I have been to disneyworld before with my family a decade ago. Though I want to believe my mom isn't going to be pushy or nosey about my honeymoon she has been about my entire life. She already is about my wedding planning.Even when I was telling her about a hotel that looked nice but I couldn't afford she turned around and said she and the family will stay there instead!Yell Its almost like she is planning this whole wedding thing for herself or competing with me.
  • Since you haven't booked yet, I'd say do a swap and book for Disney Land instead. Oops, wrong place, sorry ma.

    I agree with everyone else about keeping things hush hush and planning opposite her scheduled events. This may be an off the cuff suggestion too, but FI and I keep a travel blog since it's our favorite thing to do together. We make sure we update everyday or every other day with lots of pictures and it makes our families happy without them being up our backsides on the phone or wanting to tag along. Maybe suggest they can "follow" you that way and they can plan their trip to be after yours. For reference: robcourtneytrip.wordpress.com
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  • This is kind one of the reasons we didnt end up with a destination wedding... since I knew my fam would come and we would have to change resorts but still too risky for me!

    Like PP I would voice your concern but not much to do except plan to stay elsewhere or change your HM location. can't really tell Mum not to go somewhere on her time off.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_my-mom-wants-to-follow-us-to-our-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d65ae156-e19e-4e02-a7c8-bb5395a02036Post:6997769c-2811-494c-92ea-12ad80a9bab2">Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon</a>:
    [QUOTE]I havent booked my honeymoon yet, though now it seems my mom is trying to push me from not going to disneyworld.<u> She's saying how the afternoon thunderstorms won't be romantic for my honeymoon and I shouldn't go (which im fine with I have ponchos</u>  ). I have been to disneyworld before with my family a decade ago. Though I want to believe my mom isn't going to be pushy or nosey about my honeymoon she has been about my entire life. She already is about my wedding planning.Even when I was telling her about a hotel that looked nice but I couldn't afford she turned around and said she and the family will stay there instead!  Its almost like she is planning this whole wedding thing for herself or competing with me.
    Posted by spydchic99[/QUOTE]

    i'm not defending her but it IS her and the family's perogative to vacation when and where they please. if it happens to coincide with your HM so be it. the earth will not stop spinning.
    dont' share your plans.

    um-can't afternoon thunderstorms happen anywhere? this makes NO sense to me.

    if you dont want her being pushy or nosey stop telling her things.

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_my-mom-wants-to-follow-us-to-our-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:d65ae156-e19e-4e02-a7c8-bb5395a02036Post:7c2f768c-29a6-447f-84b6-00f342eab0dd">Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon : <strong>i'm not defending her but it IS her and the family's perogative to vacation when and where they please. if it happens to coincide with your HM so be it. the earth will not stop spinning. dont' share your plans. </strong>um-can't afternoon thunderstorms happen anywhere? this makes NO sense to me. if you dont want her being pushy or nosey stop telling her things.
    Posted by alithebride[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.  Is it sucky of her to make plans to vacation at the same place you and your FI will be vacationing on your HM but in all honesty I don't really get why it is a huge deal.  It isn't like you and your FI will be hanging with them the entire time or at all so just go and have a good time and don't share your plans with her.

  • The 2 previous PPs obviously don't get it. It's not like you both have had a trip planned in your head to do Disney and happened to realize it while you were there or something.. It sounds like she is doing it on purpose to show you up or something, which is weird to me but some moms are just like that. I definitely agree to not disclose hotel info and there is almost a guarantee you won't just bump into them between all the people there. I would be so annoyed if my mom or in laws decided to plan a vacation at the same place and same time as my HM.. Like she can't go the week after? Come on.
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  • In Response to Re:my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon:I havent booked my honeymoon yet, though now it seems my mom is trying to push me from not going to disneyworld. She's saying how the afternoon thunderstorms won't be romantic for my honeymoon and I shouldn't go which im fine with I have ponchosnbsp; . I have been to disneyworld before with my family a decade ago. Though I want to believe my mom isn't going to be pushy or nosey about my honeymoon she has been about my entire life. She already is about my wedding planning.Even when I was telling her about a hotel that looked nice but I couldn't afford she turned around and said she and the family will stay there instead! nbsp;Its almost like she is planning this whole wedding thing for herself or competing with me.Posted by spydchic99i'm not defending her but it IS her and the family's perogative to vacation when and where they please. if it happens to coincide with your HM so be it. the earth will not stop spinning.dont' share your plans. umcan't afternoon thunderstorms happen anywhere? this makes NO sense to me.if you dont want her being pushy or nosey stop telling her things. Posted by alithebride[/QUOTE]

    Why did you underline the part about her mom trying to talk OP out of doing what she wants and reply back with her mom can do whatever SHE wants...? That doesnt make any sense... Maybe her mom should just let her daughter enjoy her HM instead of making it about her..
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  • edited August 2012
    I would talk to her and explain how you feel about it.  Maybe you can work out itineraries where you are all in different parks in different days...that way you most likely won't run into them.  DW is a HUGE place.  I understand how you feel though, this is another reason why FI and I are eloping on our cruise in December with a follow up family/friend reception...we didn't want EVERYONE on the ship with us.  Good luck!
    Happily in love since 12-01-10 Happily married since 12-01-12
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_my-mom-wants-to-follow-us-to-our-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:d65ae156-e19e-4e02-a7c8-bb5395a02036Post:6997769c-2811-494c-92ea-12ad80a9bab2">Re: my mom wants to follow us to our honeymoon</a>:
    [QUOTE]I havent booked my honeymoon yet, though now it seems my mom is trying to push me from not going to disneyworld. She's saying how the afternoon thunderstorms won't be romantic for my honeymoon and I shouldn't go (which im fine with I have ponchos  ). I have been to disneyworld before with my family a decade ago. Though I want to believe my mom isn't going to be pushy or nosey about my honeymoon she has been about my entire life. She already is about my wedding planning.Even when I was telling her about a hotel that looked nice but I couldn't afford she turned around and said she and the family will stay there instead!  Its almost like she is planning this whole wedding thing for herself or competing with me.
    Posted by spydchic99[/QUOTE]
    Yep, some parents are like that.  My mom's mom was very pushy and manipulative in a somewhat passive aggressive sort of way.    The old standard that a wedding is never the birde's but actually her mother's is often not far from the truth.  Do what you want to do and keep your plans to yourself.  If she asks, make the answers vague and short.  If it bothers you that much to have her in the same place as you at the time of your honeymoon, you could always make WDW the place to celebrate your 1 yr. anniversary and go to another place for the HM.  Or just tell her you are going somewhere else and act like you are planning the best HM ever and go to WDW without telling her.  It's not the most honest, but it may help you keep your sanity.
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  • I would just go somewhere else. You could do a disney cruise or disney land, or toyko disney or europe disney. Or you could really break the mold and not go to a disney park at all. The world is your oyster.
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  • If you do go and she does also, I would say don't keep your cell phones on! That could help you avoid getting any calls about meeting up or seeing what you are up too! I would be annoyed in your situation too.
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