UPSET!!!!!

Shuutnstar

I don't even know why I am posting, bcause I am too upset to TALk about it... but my biological father (who left me when I was 2)... Just called and asked if I wanted him to give me away at my wedding.

I invited his mother who actually made an effort to stay in my life, but we aren't close, but I invited her, because she feels like family, although distant and I am her only grandchild... but she never bothered to call me after I sent the Save The Date... I don't know...

Anyway... HE saw the invite and assumed I invited him. Then he has been STALKING me via phone. Calling cell, work, home, cell, and today, I wasn't paying attention and he caught me at work. 25 mins of guilt trip later I snapped. I said, I'm sorry I am only having a small wedding with close family and friends. I invited your mother because it rude have been rude not to... but with you... We have NEVER had a relationship and just because YOU want forgiveness, doesnt mean I CAN! I am at work, pelase stop calling me here! and I hung up. How can he still urtr me? I don't even know him, I just know he didn't want me for 95% of my life and if he didn't want to be there then, why shoild he get to be part of the best tuimes of my life.

I'm sorry for going off girls... I just needed to vent because I am this close to loosing it here at work and that wont do. I dont want to be a red puffy eyed. Thanks for listening!! Love you girls (so much more than I love him... isn't that crazy?)

xVWx

i am so so soooo sorry. I'm sending happy thoughts your way. You did the right thing. 

adrielegorburu

You did the most difficult and the right thing to do in your situation.  I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all of this.  I'm sending you knottie vibes and good thoughts to help you through it!  Your wedding is an important and emotional experience for you - and if you dont want it to include him then that is your decision to make! not anyone elses!

xxoxo22

I am so sorry you are going though this! Sending you happy thoughts to help you get through it! 

MIABRIDENTAMPA

Honey, I went through a similar situation with my dad, and I am peace with my decision, as you should be with yours. I am sorry this is causing you so much hurt. Know that we are here for you. Major vibes and tons of prayers.

KareBearKCD

WOW that gave me the chills reading. I am sending thoughts, prayers, and strength over your way!!!! You will make the best decision that you feel in your heart is correct. It is your day

TheJennius

I'm sorry this is happening to your right now, hun. It's understandable why you'd be upset, and I think you handled it better than anyone could have. You were honest and to the point. Here's hoping he drops it now. Vibes for you!

RU3234

IM sorry hun! Im sending you happy thoughts. You did the right thing!

Italian Princez

I'm sorry hun! You definitely did the right thing. Happy Happy thoughts heading your way.

sambrefe67

I can't believe you are even posting this...Not in a bad way.  Im going to ohio this weekend to spent time with my biological fathers family.  He has not been a part of my life since i was 18 months old.  While I am there I plan on handing his sister and my grandmother their Save the Dates. I am petrified he will be at the party, and questioning me. 

Im glad you handled the situation the way you did! Good for you.  You have motivated me and made me feel im making the right decision. Thank you for sharing this.  I truly appreciate it.

Lacey36

Sorry your going through that hun, must be hard. Hope things work out for you

EvelynandManny

awww... sending happy vibes and praying that you find peace in all this!

ToriAnn1981

I am so sorry hon! I think you did the right thing.. How dare he try to jsut waltz back into your life... You are allowed to feel the way you do! knottie vibes!

Shuutnstar

Thank you everyone... I think posting about it really helped. I thought I was gonna lose it at work, and looking back at my post and the horrific typos (hehehe) you can SO tell I was a basket case. But getting it out there was cathartic and to know that I did the right thing, definitley definitley helps! I didn't cry and because of that... I am proud of myself. Usually he reduces me to tears, just because I FEEL GUILTY for not wanting to give him a chance. But why should I?

Stacey... Good luck with your "reunion" and I hope yours doesn't mess things up for you. It's scary how much we have in common... lol. If you need to talk about it... at least you will know someone who understands.

My case, he has been trying to weasel his way back in for the past 10 years... like once a year I get the call... "I want to come visit and start a relationship..." but I DONT WANT IT. It got forced on me when he left, and forced on me when HE wanted to drop in when I was 15... and I wan't nothing to do with him.

He always calls and says, "Jenny, it's Carlos... your dad." 1. I HATE BEING CALLED JENNY, which I told him when I was 15... 2. I know who he is... 3. HE IS NOT MY DAD. He was just a sperm doner! (Not really, but that's about all he was ever good for.)

He was an alcoholic and drug addict and even though he says he is clean now and is trying to make amends... I don't care to have a relationship with him. I don't want or need anything from him, and his wants don't really matter to me. Mine never mattered to him. I don't hate him, I don't care enough about him to hate him. I don't KNOW enough about him to hate him... but I don't want to know him.

I am happy when I don't have to think about him. Just hearing his voice grates on my nerves and I can't stand talking to him. Those are not things that are conducive to a relationship. Plus, I don't want him to know where I live, should he fall off the wagon and start begging for money again. I won't put my children (when we have them) and my family through that. I lived through that and it made me the nuerotic young woman I am today.

bears4life

Sorry you have to go through this hun! but boy oh boy are you an amazingly strong woman! I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs and kisses!

Dee729

I glad you posted this...you did the right thing!  LOVE YOU GIRL! 

twinkle82576

Jenifer & Stacey: I'm sorry your both going through hard times with your fathers. I wish you both the best in your situations.

graceandjake

Awww so sorry to hear this.  Thinking of you XOXO.