Was this a bridezilla moment?

mpotl001

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I had a bridezilla moment, but I want to know what you (awesome) ladies think. Here's the story:

My fiance has a best friend. She's a girl, and they had been intimate with each other before we met. I honestly don't care because it's over, as long as it stays that way. Anyway, I've met her a few times, and every time I see her I feel like she secretly still likes my fiance. That's neither here nor there because he's marrying me, so I could care less about that. I invited her to the wedding because I think they should remain friends, and I don't have a problem with her. This is my problem: She recently bought her dress for the wedding, and sent a picture to my fiance. It's WHITE! Not to mention revealing. My fiance thinks its okay because it looks 'cream,' but anyone with eyes can see its white. I flipped out. I cried for like an hour because that was my one fear of my wedding, someone wearing white. This is the dress:

Am I being unreasonable?

LaMaFa

I wouldn't classify your reaction as bridezilla. It's very tacky to wear white to a wedding (unless specifically requested) if you are not the bride. Its seen as trying to upstage the bride and take away her moment- very rude and inappropriate.
Take some time, calm yourself down, and talk to your fiance. Explain to your fiance that you're worried that she is trying to look prettier than you on your wedding day (no guy is ok with that) and that your other guests will be put off and perhaps give her the cold shoulder for breaking taboo and wearing white to a wedding. See if he will be willing to talk to his friend and explain that it is upsetting BOTH of you that she is planning to wear white- if she still has secret feelings for him, she won't want him upset and if not, then as friend she won't want him upset.
I understand you being upset, and since there is still tons of time until your wedding, she should have no problem finding a different dress- no excuses. You cannot withdraw an invite, however, your FI (and maybe you) can explain to her how upsetting it is that she has not considered your feelings as a bride- and supposed friend- in her decision to buy a 'cream' dress- and hopefully that will make her see the light as to the tacky and rude choice she made. HTH!

PS: I think it's white also... or off-white. No way is that cream!

Danny&Mel2003

I don't see bridezilla moment ... I see someone wearing a WHITE dress. I'm sorry its tacky and rude, I would talk with FI explain how you feel. Despite how she may or may not feel about him she still needs to respect you and in my opinion knowing they had an intimate past I think your strong woman whose being more than fair by inviting her to the wedding!

Mademoiselle D

I agree with the other PP's here...you didn't have a bridezilla moment. Personally, I would be pretty upset too if someone wore a white dress especially if it's someone who my FI has been intimate with. Just the act alone feels like a slap in the face. I asked my FI what he thought of the dress and he said it was white and he would be pissed if someone wore a white dress to our wedding. I digress, sorry.....I think you should talk to your FI and explain to him how you feel and probably you both should talk to his friend. Let her know how you feel, she should understand and have no problem in finding another dress.

AMYM312

I must not have any self confidence because I would not be ok with my FI having a female best friend, let alone one he has been intimate with in the past. His only female best friend should be you. So anyways, I don't like anything about this at all. And the dress is awful anyway. I'm not a fan of this girl!! I think she is up to no good.

bananapants628

yea, wearing white to someone's wedding (unless requested to like PPs have said) is not cool. i agree with everyone else, you should have your FI talk to her about it.

FaithCaitlin

I'd be furious. Not okay in my book. If that makes me a bridezilla, oh well!

Honestly, though, I'm sure no one will even look at her. You're the bride. 

However, I'd totally steer clear of this girl... ugh.

Martica14

OHHH no girl thats definitely not a bridezilla moment, I'd be furious too!! Thats tacky and disrespectful!!! I'd definitely tell your fiance that he has to talk to her, no one should be wearing anything along the lines of white (including cream, off white, etc.) and she has to respect that!! I had something similar with my MIL and I told my fiance that if he doesnt tell her, I will. so he did and she definitely understood and bought a beige dress!! Its your day and your wedding, you make the rules!!!
and for the future, I'd definitely be careful with this girl.

minionlover

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_was-this-a-bridezilla-moment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:62802eda-c5ca-4dc6-b8c7-c0741634e964Post:26033d16-176f-457d-b549-d71e82e74993">Re: Was this a bridezilla moment?</a>:
[QUOTE]I must not have any self confidence because I would not be ok with my FI having a female best friend, let alone one he has been intimate with in the past. His only female best friend should be you. So anyways, I don't like anything about this at all. And the dress is awful anyway. I'm not a fan of this girl!! I think she is up to no good.
Posted by AMYM312[/QUOTE]
This.  I am not against female friends but I am against him having a female best friend who FI was intimate with.  TBH with you I think that if you mentioned it in your post so many times that you are okay with it, it makes me think that you are truly NOT okay with it.  Whether ok or not, I think that if your FI and her are such good friends, he should have no problem telling her that you both would appreicate her not wearing white.

mpotl001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-south-florida_was-this-a-bridezilla-moment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:67Discussion:62802eda-c5ca-4dc6-b8c7-c0741634e964Post:79ea6698-d912-4daa-93a7-7441792d2bf7">Re: Was this a bridezilla moment?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Was this a bridezilla moment? : This.  I am not against female friends but I am against him having a female best friend who FI was intimate with.  <strong>TBH with you I think that if you mentioned it in your post so many times that you are okay with it, it makes me think that you are truly NOT okay with it.</strong>  Whether ok or not, I think that if your FI and her are such good friends, he should have no problem telling her that you both would appreicate her not wearing white.
Posted by Cathyl7910[/QUOTE]

I can see how you might think that I might not be okay with it, but I honestly am. I mentioned it so many times because every time I say I'm okay with it, a lot of people think I'm not  so I have to reiterate the claim lol I don't really care that she's his 'best friend' because he's always gotten along better with girls. 2 other girl best friends of his are in my wedding party (I think it shows he can have opposite sex friendships without it being sexual [even though he did that one time, but he claims it was boredom and when he was 'a kid' as he calls it lol]). They are all nice ladies, and she's always been nice to me, but since that happened, I kind of think she's doing it on purpose.

Thanks for all your advice ladies! I spoke with FI and he spoke to her, and she reluctantly decided to get a red dress instead. Keep your fingers crossed! lol

STBMrsDio

Lol! That girl is very brave. Hats off to you Melissa for not calling her and giving her a piece of your mind. You're a better person than me!!

mpotl001

lol thanks Nikki. You'll know who it is at the wedding (hopefully you and your fiance can make it) because she'll be the other person wearing white. I think she might be lying about wearing red lol we'll see at the wedding. I've decided to rise above it and ignore it. I'll be the best looking one in white lol

HeatherL212

She has got to be joking. That dress is white and that is completely unacceptable. Hope it all works out!