They think she should be a bridesmaid : /

aaruiz84

Ok so my Fi only sister found out she will not be a bridesmaid and went crying to there mom. I feel terrible that she feels bad and it has def put a strain in my FI and I relationship. This decision was a difficult one to make bc my FI did want his sister to be  a bridesmaid but I know I didn’t. His sister is very rude, she didn’t even say congratulations when we got engaged and she has made me cry about 3 times already of how rude she can be so I just didn’t want to put any more stress on me by having her as one of my bridesmaids. However my FI parents feel she should be a bridesmaid because it is tradition and by me doing this it causes uproar in the family.  Do you ladies think I should include her as a bridesmaid just to keep everyone happy??? Im really torn about this in one hand I know she doesn’t really like me so why does she even want to be a bridesmaid??and on the other hand I can kinda see where his parents are coming from….any thoughts?

angie52087

I see where his parents are coming from but you have good points as in to why not to have her. You should only have your bridesmaids be girls you want there standing besides you. Your bridesmaid are your girls who have your back, so if you don't want your rude sister in law in it then don't do it. I wouldn't!

peaches85

I agree that it should only be people in your wedding party who you want there; however, for better or worse, she is your FI's sister.  Is there another way you can somehow incorporate her in the wedding without making her a full-fledged bridesmaid?  Maybe she can do a reading at your ceremony?  Or she can walk an elder member of FI's family down the aisle as part of the processional?

heidi1068

I've never been to a latino wedding with bridesmaids so I'm not sure about the claim that it's tradition, but I would be inclined to include her--not so much because your in-laws want you to but because your fiance wants you to.  This is his weddng too and it is about the combining of two families more than anything else.  Plus, you may not have a great relationship with her now, but it is only going to get worse if you don't include her.  If you do, there is at least a chance it will get better.

fam6

Could you maybe go to lunch with your future sister in law and try to talk thru things and see why she has behaved the way she has because clearly she wants to be a part of things....and as Peaches said, better or worse she is going to be your family. So, that being said in ten years or twenty years she will still be a part of your life, where as other friends may have moved, or have changes in their lives and not be a part of your life anymore.  It would probably be meaningful to both you for a long time if you were able to work thru this and have her be a part of the wedding.

Good luck!

arcany123

you need to include her.  family politics are tough and you don't want to start the marriage on the bad foot with the family, specially since it seems like your fiance is very close to them.  its one thing is she lives far away and you rarely have to deal with her... but she lives nearby, it is important to at least have a cordial relationship with her.  have her as a bridesmaid but keep her far.  bond with the your girls and have her walk down the aisle in the matching dress. 

KGuillen10

My brother recently got married and, although I love my new sister-in-law, she just didn't want to include me as a bridesmaid because she already had bridesmaids picked out (her best friend and sisters).  I didn't take it personally because I really didn't belong up there and also because the day was about THEM not me. 

Remind your fiance and his family that your wedding day is YOUR wedding day.  Perhaps your groom can include his sister on his side (one of my brother's sweet ideas, which I declined) or she can play another role in the wedding. 

She's the groom's sister, so it's only right to have her involved, but if she's rude to you or mistreat you, her role in the wedding should only be as the groom's sister with the groom's side of things, not the bride's.

gibribuz

If I was in your situation, I would include her.  She seems like she is a PITA but when it comes down to it, she is going to be family.  It seems like a small price to pay to keep the peace in the family.  Since she is being a Debbie Downer about everything else, maybe you will luck out and she will eventually drop out before the big day. 

aaruiz84

Thank you ladies for your advice, I have decided to include her in the wedding by asking her to walk her parents down the aisle as well as reading a scripture during mass. I feel much more comfortable with offering her those roles as oppose to a  bridesmaid roll. There is plenty of time from now until our wedding day where I hope she eventually gets over it.

fitzbets

If your husband to be wants his sister in the wedding I don't think you should say no.  She is going to be your family, not just his family!

Victoriatx

no you dont need her in your wedding, i personally am not a fan of the FSIL OR FBIL being in the wedding parties just because, i feel if shes in your WP then its because you two are close and actuall friends.

Gismo123

I know this is an old post but I'm responding anyway It's YOUR wedding not your soon to be sister in laws.  You're suppose to choose people that are special to YOU to be bridesmaids.  When my brother got married his wife didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid and my feelings were not hurt at all.  In fact they ended up reconizing me during the rehersal dinner and gave me a gift along with the rest of the wedding party and I was really happy with that.  My FI tried to get me to have 2 of his cousins as my bridesmaid and I explained to him that I was the one who choose that not him or anyone else and the same goes for his groomsmen, that he gets to choose them.  Good luck and I hope it all works out for you!

perlaperla

NO! Move on! If she's already stressing you out, imagine how much worse you'll feel when you've got wedding stress on your mind and she acts up.