Proposal idea, too public or scary?

whodinger

There's always been a playful relationship between my girlfriend and I. I want to make the proposal a surprise, so doing anything leading up to being too romantic would be a giveaway.

So...

I was thinking of staging my own arrest.

Perhaps at a public event of some kind, have some of my officer friends (that she doesn't know) point me out and have me handcuffed. Maybe have them search my car and find "contraband" (ring and flowers) that I need to explain, or put me in the squad car and have the ring and flowers waiting for me and have them tell her that I should be the one to tell her why I'm being arrested and pop the question that way.

Any thoughts? I never wanted to do just a generic romantic proposal, and I'm sure she'd look back on it and like it.

Thanks for advice in advance!
- Bobby

[Deleted User]

I will be the odd one out and say, it depends on your girlfriend. I actually have a friend who would be thrilled (in the end) with something like that. Me, on the other hand, I would probably be pretty angry. It would definitely be memorable, I can tell you that.

whodinger

It's definitely my type of personality, so she'd figure I'd do something like this. The other option is something romantic, but it'll be a give-away the moment I start that date because it would be so out of the ordinary and she somewhat suspects it may be soon. And I know she's expecting a surprise.

Doesn't leave me with a lot of options. We can't go out to a nice dress up dinner, or really any dinner, because we are on a extreme diet together (that would give it away if I broke that diet rule). Inviting her anywhere romantic or memorable would be a dead give-away.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

This is definitely a bad idea, please don't do it. Who cares if how you ask her gives it away? The proposal doesn't have to be a complete surprise. Do something special together, something that means something to the both of you. It will be perfect, regardless of if she knows it is coming.

ashleyjgetsmarried

Obviously, it depends on your girlfriend, but that's so many emotions in a short amount of time you should just make it a happy moment and not a confusing moment.  And the focus will be taken off of her, but more on you getting arrested.  Not what you want! 

You're on an extreme diet...do you exercise together?  If you go jogging, pop the question during a jog.  She won't expect it during "mundane" moments, like a kiss hello or waking up on a Saturday morning.  A proposal doesn't have to be a spectacle.  And honestly, no one cares about the proposal after about a week.  They'll want to ask wedding questions. 

mrskristinyc

I think you should ask someone who knows your girlfriend instead of opinionated strangers on the internet

This could be a great proposal if executed well, but you should probably talk with her best friend or sister or someone who knows how she might react. It would definitely give a great story for her!

shonerj1

I would say too scary.  Try something like slipping it on her finger while she is sleep and when she wakes up, have will you marry me spelled out in candy.

calliopeia2013

Look, this depends on your GF.  If my FI had done this, I would have said no and probably left him permanently for having the terrible judgement to think that was a good idea for me. 

No matter what, it is not a good idea to make it look realistic.  Have you ever seen a real arrest, not on TV?  It's not funny or cute; it's terrifying, and often violent, and disorienting even for the people watching.  If you're dead set on this idea, I'd say it'd be much better to do it as an obvious gag- have your friends show up with fuzzy pink handcuffs and wacky Supertroopers style costumes or something like that.

whodinger

I've asked her sisters, who think its a good idea. But since they loved teasing her when she was growing up they may not be the best to ask.

Asking during mundane tasks or something normally isn't something I'd do either, it would remind her of a friend of hers that got proposed to that way and now gets beaten by her husband.

Annas2013

That would scare the crap out of me.  I'd say that's not the best idea for a proposal.  It's sweet you're putting this much thought and effort into planning it though.

AndreaMarc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_proposal-idea-too-public-or-scary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:0ef54df0-ecb4-4e8e-b420-4c3dbe908151Post:271e259f-8fe1-4405-9626-b8a862210b68">Re: Proposal idea, too public or scary?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's definitely my type of personality, so she'd figure I'd do something like this. The other option is something romantic, but it'll be a give-away the moment I start that date because it would be so out of the ordinary and she somewhat suspects it may be soon. And I know she's expecting a surprise. Doesn't leave me with a lot of options. We can't go out to a nice dress up dinner, or really any dinner, because we are on a extreme diet together (that would give it away if I broke that diet rule). Inviting her anywhere romantic or memorable would be a dead give-away.
Posted by whodinger[/QUOTE]

Well personally, when I first read your idea I liked it! IF your girlfriend has a great sense of humour, and if you don't drag out the joke.. I think it's a great idea. My boyfriend recently proposed on a helicopter tour around NYC. Although he's a romantic, and I knew that planning that was something he might just do for the fun of it.. I had a feeling something was up.
That being said, if there is no doubt in your mind your girlfriend will find the humour in this kind of proposal.. I'd say go for it. Just don't draw it out to the point where she might get REALLLY concerned.

Good luck! And Congrats!

whodinger

Well, she does like car shows, she's into them a little more than I am.

But thinking it over more makes me think I need to mix in some sweet first. Maybe scrap the car show altogether and do a nice day date like horse riding and a dress up dinner, as if I was going to propose (because she definetely would expect a proposal if I set all that up). And then, instead of proposing, we start a drive home to end the night in which I get pulled over and do the whole fake arrest thing. Maybe not even a fake arrest, but just a "I need to check your trunk" thing where he says he finds something and that I'm going to be in trouble unless she can go to the back of the car and explain what it is.

Not as scary sounding, although she'd probably be a little confused after the nice date as to why I didn't ask at the end of it and just started to drive home.

calliopeia2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_proposal-idea-too-public-or-scary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:0ef54df0-ecb4-4e8e-b420-4c3dbe908151Post:e3b325a8-8783-4d91-93e0-d5cc45c24723">Re: Proposal idea, too public or scary?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, she does like car shows, she's into them a little more than I am. But thinking it over more makes me think I need to mix in some sweet first. Maybe scrap the car show altogether and do a nice day date like horse riding and a dress up dinner, as if I was going to propose (because she definetely would expect a proposal if I set all that up). And then, instead of proposing, we start a drive home to end the night in which I get pulled over and do the whole fake arrest thing. Maybe not even a fake arrest, but just a "I need to check your trunk" thing where he says he finds something and that I'm going to be in trouble unless she can go to the back of the car and explain what it is. Not as scary sounding, although she'd probably be a little confused after the nice date as to why I didn't ask at the end of it and just started to drive home.
Posted by whodinger[/QUOTE]

I actually think just as scary.  Probably more scary, since someone who she believes is a real police officer is ordering HER out of the car and telling her to do things, instead of just focusing on you- she's being put on the spot, instead of only watching things.

Are you SURE she's the type of person who finds being the target of mean pranks funny?  I mean, some people genuinely are- they're the girls who thought it was truly hilarious when the boy's cabins at summer camp stole their underwear and put it up the flagpole.  But they are a pretty small minority of people.

To be clear, that's what this is, a proposal in the form of a public, mean prank.  And that is 100% okay, and possibly even awesome, if she is the sort of person who gets a kick out of being the butt of a joke.  If she's the sort of person who just tolerates being teased, or the sort of person who actively dislikes being teased, then this is an idea whose terrible-ness cannot even be described.

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_proposal-idea-too-public-or-scary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:0ef54df0-ecb4-4e8e-b420-4c3dbe908151Post:e3b325a8-8783-4d91-93e0-d5cc45c24723">Re: Proposal idea, too public or scary?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, she does like car shows, she's into them a little more than I am. But thinking it over more makes me think I need to mix in some sweet first. Maybe scrap the car show altogether and do a nice day date like horse riding and a dress up dinner, as if I was going to propose (because she definetely would expect a proposal if I set all that up). <strong>And then, instead of proposing, we start a drive home to end the night in which I get pulled over and do the whole fake arrest thing.</strong> Maybe not even a fake arrest, but just a "I need to check your trunk" thing where he says he finds something and that I'm going to be in trouble unless she can go to the back of the car and explain what it is. Not as scary sounding, although she'd probably be a little confused after the nice date as to why I didn't ask at the end of it and just started to drive home.
Posted by whodinger[/QUOTE]

If you even have this thought, I wonder how she is even with you. This is just weird.

casibee

I think it's a great idea! If you know she will laugh in the end, you should totally do it. It would be the best proposal story to tell for years to come! Props for originality, bro! I say do it!

cowpoke06

Depending on you and your girlfriend, I could see that being awesome and memorable. If you think she would find it funny after she realized what's going on, go for it. Of course she's going to be worried for a second but I'm assuming that's what you're going for. She may even be thinking...hmmmmm, this seems fishy. I think it's unique as log as she has the humor for it.

Good luck!

dupp0002

anybody else extremely curious about if he went through with it?