Just Engaged and Proposals

Confused

I've been engaged for about two months now. At first it was all great and cheery. Now all we do is fight and i'm getting serious cold feet. I think the fighting (which is more just long talks) is on my part because of how big of a step this is. At first I couldn't wait to get the ring and now I feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. I know I love him and I know I want to marry him. It just seems like i'm searching for reasons on why this isn't the right choice. Is anyone else going through this? I mean this is my dream guy so there must be something wrong on my part.
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Re: Confused

  • Just because he's your dream guy, doesn't mean there won't be rough patches, or that its your fault! The excitement leading up to an engagement can totally overshadow any issues that are now coming up as you think about spending the rest of your life with your fiance. Are you fighting about the same thing again and again or does everything small turn into a fight? How long have you two been together? I see you are 21 and you might just need more time before making this big commitment!? If you haven't set a date (or even if you have) you could just enjoy being engaged for a year or so and then start planning, to take some of the pressure of the relationship, there is no rush!
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  • I agree with Olive...long engagements are nice to get everything set for yourself. By the time FI and I get married, we'll have been engaged for 4 years! He was ready and willing to get married, I knew I loved him and wanted to marry him, but I still needed time. So he waited :)
  • ditto ppsBreath & just put the wedding talk off for a month or so (or more). See how you feel. There is never a reason to "rush" into marriage. Long engagements are fine (like 3-5 years). Is there anything else big going on in your life to make you anxious? Like crazy family, school, or work changes? I sometimes doubt the relationship when I'm having doubt in myself (like getting a job in this economy). Also remember counseling is always out there 

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • My FI and I are waiting 2 years to get married. I am 22 he is 24 and I am just starting grad school. So we figured take it slow and wait to all the stress of school fades out. So maybe thats what you two should discuss, an 18 month engagement or 2 year engagement.
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  • Take a step back, hold off on getting married and enjoy being engaged. Just because your engaged doesn't mean you HAVE to get married as soon as possible. I got married at 19 years old when I found out I was pregnant. We said we'd outlast the stereotype...buuut we didn't. While at the alter though I started to hyperventilate I realized I'll be with for the rest of my life. This wasn't the wedding I wanted at all ect. I wish I would have taken a step back and just have been engaged for a long time. I could have planned a wedding or moved in with him before rushing into a lifelong relationship. I don't regret my realtionship with him though because he taught me a lot about love, I had my son and I found a man that truly loves me. If you need some extra advice I suggest getting this book called The Wedding Book. It's a thick white book which adresses everything about being engaged and getting married. It also adresses issues like cheating, impending feeling of being doomed and things like that.
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