Is there really an average price you have to pay for a ring? venting/ advice maybe?

BriLeigh89

My fiance and I have been looking for a ring that I like for a while now. I have a ring he bought to propose but it is a pearl ring and it was intended to wear til I picked my engagemnet ring because I'm picky. We have found two sets that I like both are 645.00 for a a bridal set that is 1/2 ct tw. the only problem is my grandma says I should go for only the best and my ring should be at least $1,000.00! I have tried reasoning with her when she brings it up that we would like to go with an affordable set that I love and that we can use the extra money we didn't spend on the $1,000.00 ring on things like our house payment and the truck payment and things our little boy will like for Christmas. I am perfectly fine with the $645.00 set and I love it! I just wish she would back off. the only problem is my grandmother is an older lady and nowadays she gets very emotional and cries at the slightest hurt feelings. I hate to see her cry she's never been like this but I want her to back off and let us decide what to spend. she has always had money and she still does but my fiance and i are just starting out and we don't have that kind of cash. We are planning a budget wedding, nice but not frivolous and we just like to put our money to good use. is there anything wrong with that? grandma even made a semi serious joke to him that "the girls in this family get 1/3 ct or a half but no less..." she makes me uneasy and my fiance can't stand her. i am really close to her she and my grandfather took us and our dad into their home and then raised my siblings and I after our mom left us. I feel guilty when I disagree with her... am I crazy?!?!  

MoonlightSilver

Don't be guilty, you're being smart. From now on, do NOT tell your grandma how much something costs. Don't tell her the price of any of your vendors or anything to do with the wedding. Have the budget wedding you want. 

BriLeigh89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-there-really-an-average-price-you-have-to-pay-for-a-ring-venting-advice-maybe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:31545eb5-945f-4ac2-8c37-4616ecc5ccaaPost:639d867a-14f3-4a5e-9ef1-66f0f025991d">Re: Is there really an average price you have to pay for a ring? venting/ advice maybe?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be guilty, you're being smart. From now on, do NOT tell your grandma how much something costs. Don't tell her the price of any of your vendors or anything to do with the wedding. Have the budget wedding you want. 
Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

<div>thank you so much! I know she loves me and wants the best but I just think she is pushing it. I told her if I feel different later we can always upgrade my ring like Grandpa did for her on their anniversary when he had the money.</div>

GoodLuckBear14

You're not crazy but I would begin training yourself now to never ever let her know how much something costs.  I have a father who thinks he needs to know how much his kids paid for everything so I know what you are going through with this.

For an e-ring, you pay what you can afford without putting it on a credit card. 

RamonaFlowers

Get the ring(s) you want/can afford, and don't mention the price tag. To anyone.

firsttimersluck

Money is between you and your fiance'. 

Screw Grandma. You two know your budget and what you love. 

s-aries8990

I agree with PP's laugh at Gramma's jokes, then change the subject. You can always upgrade later! No pay no say.

samantha24p

I agree with everyone especially Stage. Family and friends don't need to know how much you're spending on anything. The price of the ring nor size of the ring doesn't matter.

BriLeigh89

thank you all so much. I'm trying to work on not telling her everything but after a lifetime of her being my best friend and my one confidant its going to be a hard change. thank you for your support. :-)

HobokensFury

My grandma is old school Italian. In her mind a bigger ring means the man is a better provider. To her it's a symbol of wealth and stability. Although I don't agree with it maybe this will help you understand where your grandma is coming from.  But the PP have given you good advice. Get the ring you want and don't tell anyone what it costs.

BriLeigh89

thanks HobokenBride2012. that is EXACTLY how she feels. Our Grandparents on both sides upgraded our grandmother's rings and I think for her she just wants to see me get a ring. She understands money situations. Its just that her parents were raised in the Great Depression and her father was always worried about money and he never even bought my Great Grandmother a wedding band. she just wants me to have a ring and a nice one and to not let money get in the way because she always resented her father not buying her mother a ring that she thought she desered. this was after a long conversation.

pomundson0

I heard somewhere that the E-ring is "supposed" to cost three months worth of whatever his salary is... that seems beyond crazy to me!! I wouldn't want that much money on my hand, I'd be so paranoid! I love my simple much less expensive ring  Going the budget route is always smart, especially if it's what you love  A good lesson learned though, for all future things Wedding... dress, venue, etc. Nobody needs to know how much of your hard earned money you're spending on what  Good luck!

Beads921

I'm really not sure why you told her what it costs in the first place. It's no one's business. But I also like to keep finances private - no one knows what our house, my car, my ring, my dress, etc cost. I don't like talking about it. 

Get what you're comfortable with. They're YOUR rings.

Shlby81

Just tell your grandma you are upgrading to a better stone and now it's 1200 or some price that'll make her happy.

kaos16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-there-really-an-average-price-you-have-to-pay-for-a-ring-venting-advice-maybe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:31545eb5-945f-4ac2-8c37-4616ecc5ccaaPost:bfe0ca49-ead9-437b-8a83-daf2e21ce5b7">Re: Is there really an average price you have to pay for a ring? venting/ advice maybe?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just tell your grandma you are upgrading to a better stone and now it's 1200 or some price that'll make her happy.
Posted by Shlby81[/QUOTE]

horrible advice.  Please don't listen to this

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_is-there-really-an-average-price-you-have-to-pay-for-a-ring-venting-advice-maybe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:31545eb5-945f-4ac2-8c37-4616ecc5ccaaPost:88005c1f-59b7-402b-99e1-fda1a19b66d4">Re: Is there really an average price you have to pay for a ring? venting/ advice maybe?</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard somewhere that the E-ring is "supposed" to cost three months worth of whatever his salary is... that seems beyond crazy to me!! I wouldn't want that much money on my hand, I'd be so paranoid! I love my simple much less expensive ring :)  Going the budget route is always smart, especially if it's what you love :)  A good lesson learned though, for all future things Wedding... dress, venue, etc. Nobody needs to know how much of your hard earned money you're spending on what :)  Good luck!
Posted by pomundson0[/QUOTE]


This was a de Beers commercial