Need your thoughts!

luvandlaf

Hi ladies,
I'm sorry in advance if this might be long. I need your thoughts. I got engaged this past weekend. And let's just say I like the design of the ring. I just think he could have done better. I know I sound materalistic, which I am not at all. I don't dress in designers. My bags cost $20-50. I've never (and I mean, never) ever asked my FI to buy me anything. When we go shopping, I would pay for mine own. I even paid for him at times. He, on the other hand, has top of the line clothing. I have no problem with that since it's his money. But the ring (it's the only thing he has gotten me) deserves more. He got me a 1 C ring. Btw, he makes 6 figures. I think I deserve better than that. My question is...do you think my FI cheaped out on me?


This is to reply to all messages.
First of all, I want to thank you all for replying. Maybe like some of you said, I am materialistic...I just don't realize it. I should have added more to my story. It may not make any difference to you.
Please don't think that I made my decision based on the size or the amount of the ring. I had said yes to my FI a year earlier. It was not a planned proposal so he didn't have the ring then. Since we didn't have the ring, we didn't make it official until the past weekend. When he asked me again this time, I again said yes without seeing the ring. Within the past year, we talked about what kind of ring to get. And what I actually want is a ring which I can wear forever...meaning no upgrades. I want to keep the ring as it is. Since he can easily afford now, why not? We just bought a house together. We both make good money. If we were still in school, then I could see future upgrades. But we are financially stable. The ring he gave cannot hold a 1.5C diamond because the prongs are too short. So if we were to upgrade, I would have to get a different ring. I wouldn't want to give up the ring I will have worn for so long for another even though it may be bigger. Although I think he could have done better, I am still keeping the 1C as it is...no future upgrades!

I <3 Seabass

Maybe your FI thought the ring that he got you fit with your personal style. If you're not into designer clothing and expensive handbags what would make him think to get you a more expensive or bigger ring, especially if you've never talked to him about it before.

Also, do you know how much diamonds cost? If not check out Blue Nile. Depending on the cut, clarity and color 1 ct diamonds can sell for over $16,000 so no, I don't think he cheaped out on you.

Ishaba11

Originally I wanted nothing less than a 1ct center stone. I had my heart set on it for years, even before I met my FI. I also wanted an emerald cut which is one of most expensive cuts. When the time came, FI would send me pictures of rings and ask what I thought of them. I would state I wanted a 1ct emerald cut over and over again. He got me an 0.75 emerald cut with two trillion cuts on each side and the total CT is 1.17 and honestly I couldnt be happier. He took my request of an emerald cut but also put his own style in the trillion cuts. It's a little of both of us. I was very happy he put the thought into what he thought I would like.

On that note, diamonds always depend on the 4 C's. If your diamond has a perfect color, cut and clarity it would be better than a bigger carat in my opinion. I could have gotten my 1ct center stone if the diamond wasnt as good. But I wanted a beautiful diamond and not something that had a yellow tint or a big black spot in it.
 
I am sure he put thought into your ring and there is a reason why he picked what he did. Perhaps he thought that it was your style, or a bigger diamond might look weird on your fingers (I know I have tiny fingers so a huge diamond would look ridiculous)

suzieharris

My goodness.  Be happy with your 1C diamond.  I am going with a 1C CZ.  No one will know but me and my FI and all of you that I have told now.  LOL.  My whole wedding will cost $6K.  Be happy with what you have.  You can always change the center stone on an anniversary or some other special occasion.  That's what we are doing.  Kinda like having my ring on my finger and having it on layaway at the same time. 

jessNlane52804

I see what you're saying. If this is the ring you're going to wear for the rest of your life, it's sad that he settled on something that was convenient for him.

blackfire5th

MUD

AdeleDazeem

Really?  He bought you a one carat ring and you're upset?  Then he told you the cost and you now realize that $6,000 is some people's entire wedding budget?  And some people have CZ instead of diamonds? 

Perspective, please.

laurenclaire1386

No, I don't think your FI "cheaped out" out on you. You know, the fact that you had to go on an entire diatribe about how nonmaterialistic you are, then you asked if your FI is cheap becuase he spend 6k on you are pretty contradictory statements.

stina93446

A 1C diamond is still a pretty penny. This is MUD. And yes darling, you are VERY materialistic if you're upset about this.

blackfire5th

If this isn't MUD I think your FI sounds like a selfish jerk.  He spends money on himself all the time and this ring is the only thing he got you?  And instead of finding the perfect ring, and looking at different stores, he just grabbed whatever was convenient for him?

Oh yeah, sounds like a keeper. 

stina93446

Also, like pp said, did you not think that maybe it's a really nice 1C?! 

emilyinchile

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:4e9b0fe5-f677-478d-bef5-75a1451f2c5cPost:28391494-34af-4eef-9ae2-3e5add7a1687">Re: Need your thoughts!</a>:
[QUOTE]If this isn't MUD I think your FI sounds like a selfish jerk.  He spends money on himself all the time and this ring is the only thing he got you?  And instead of finding the perfect ring, and looking at different stores, he just grabbed whatever was convenient for him? Oh yeah, sounds like a keeper. 
Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]

AND you are so madly in love that instead of squeeing "I'm engaged!" you're asking internet strangers about whether or not your ring is good enough. Solid relationship for sure.

SarahPLiz

I have a really nice 1c,  in platinum. Its gorgeous, and really high grade, but I think its took big. He paid almost $8K for it (found it on Amazon for 30% less than in the local stores), and makes close to 6 figures. I don't see how those things correlate, though. If you judge how much he loves you based on how much he spends on you, then you have no business getting married.

Also, I would think that being careful with money is a good trait. Maybe he's trying to save for the rest of your lives together. DOH!

sgervais88

How about being excited to be engaged and preparing to spend the rest of your life with the man you love. The ring is an unnecessary symbol of his love for you, a gift to you from him.

BTW, I agree. This is MUD.

redheadfsu

OP

Did you care about Carat size over everything else or whether it was a nice stone? (Like perfect cut?) Did you tell him so?  Why are you really mad? You said you like the design of the ring. Is there a hidden reason why you are focused on the amount of money & carat size? Like doubts about your relationship? I think so.

It sounds like you think $ = Love. From what you have written, it appears you are only focused on how big it is & how much he spent. You should  be focusing on that you are marrying the man of your dreams. You sound very materialistic even though you keep denying it.

krissydawn16

MUD.

LOLing because my ring is .33C and cost $500... but you know why?  Because I told FI that I was not comfortable with the huge ring he suggested and he listened to me.  I am not comfortable with fashionista designer things... and FI knows that.  I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl.. so he got me a t-shirt and jeans ring.. and I LOVE it.

However, he sort of won his side of the battle because it's a top quality diamond.  Completely colorless and VVS1 clarity.  He also insists that I get a wrap within five years to "enhance" it...

If you hate designer/expensive things, why do you care so much about this?  You think you deserve a certain size engagement ring... ??

CynikettE

6K and that's not enough?! That's almost the budget for our entire wedding!

I specifically told my fiance I didn't want anything big because I'm clumsy and would get it caught on things. I think my ring is 1/2 carat total, but it's distributed among smaller diamonds. I would take this one over any "rock" any day!

lalap69

Yup, that was my first thought when I got engaged: did he spend enough on the ring?  When he asked if I would marry him, I asked to see the ring appraisal first and after carefully evaluating it I finally decided that he'd spent enough money on me and so I guessed I could marry him.

Or I screamed yes and threw my arms around him and kissed him before even looking at the ring and couldn't have been happier.

It was one of the two, I forget which.

suzieharris

And by the way.  I don't even have my ring yet.  When the love of my life proposed to me he gave me a Sterling Silver Band to wear until  we could pick something out together and make payments.  I am more than happy to wear my band until my wedding day when my 1C CZ + 1C total weight diamond ring is put on my finger.  I'm getting married because I love my man, not because of the ring he gave me when he proposed.  You need to get your priorities straight before you say "I DO"!

jackiie.glez

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:4e9b0fe5-f677-478d-bef5-75a1451f2c5cPost:a284b13e-de11-490a-8989-72c6c68f2f6d">Re: Need your thoughts!</a>:
[QUOTE] Or I screamed yes and threw my arms around him and kissed him before even looking at the ring and couldn't have been happier.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

That's how it happened to me too (: that's why I think it's sad that you're thinking about the price of the ring, instead of the meaning of the action. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you, don't you think that's just perfect? Besides, I think that a 1 C ring is really good, F got me a 1 C ring too (and at the biggining I though it was too big for my hands, i'm tiny), but I won't ask him how much did he spend on it because I'm sure I'll think it was too much for a ring.

Anyway, I don't think he ' cheaped out on you', that's just a silly though, just think about the fact that you're gonna marry him *I'm sure that'll make you smile* (:

kate51485

You are ridiculous.

Mrs.B6302007

You know, when I see posts like this I always think of quality vs. size.

That can be applied in other relationship areas as well. ;-)

kate51485

Andplusalso, if you think you "deserve better" ring-wise, then I'd venture to guess he deserves better than you fiancee-wise.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:4e9b0fe5-f677-478d-bef5-75a1451f2c5cPost:853672a8-a34a-400f-b61b-2da3a6f04e13">Need your thoughts!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies, I'm sorry in advance if this might be long. I need your thoughts. I got engaged this past weekend. And let's just say I like the design of the ring. I just think he could have done better. I know I sound materalistic, which I am not at all. I don't dress in designers. My bags cost $20-50. I've never (and I mean, never) ever asked my FI to buy me anything. When we go shopping, I would pay for mine own. I even paid for him at times. He, on the other hand, has top of the line clothing.<strong> I have no problem with that since it's his money.</strong> But the ring (it's the only thing he has gotten me) deserves more. He got me a 1 C ring. Btw, he makes 6 figures. I think I deserve better than that. My question is...do you think my FI cheaped out on me?
Posted by luvandlaf[/QUOTE]
If it's his money, why are you thinking he cheaped out on you? I make 7 figures(circle, triangle, quadrilateral, pentagon, hexagon, hyperbola, and parabola), but our rings (all 3) were under a $1K total. Were we too cheap?

FutureMrsTR

This is either MUD or you're a twit.  Wait...no, either way you're a twit.

lyndausvi

ummm... no.

From you logical my 6 figured income DH cheaped out  by giving me MIL's 1+ct diamond.  I guess I should be upset he only paid $2k for a new setting. 

suz62984

Yeah your selfish and materialistic; if this isn't MUD...

With your logic, your FI's love for you and ring size are directly related. My FI makes 5 figures and I got 1.5ct...guess he loves me more than your FI loves you!

janedoe1113a

I would have killed my FI if he spent $6K on a piece of jewelry.  That is our entire wedding budget.   You're being a brat.

aerinpegadrak

I have no idea how much my ring cost.  I know it has a very simple setting, and that FI chose a 1/3 carat flawless stone over a 1/2 carat stone that had a visible flaw, but that's it. 

I'm a little concerned when you say the ring is the only thing he's ever gotten you.  Really?  Ever?  FI and I don't make six figures combined, but we buy little things for each other all the time.  It's just part of how we express that we love each other.

Y'all need some premarital counseing and a pre-nup, because it sounds like your relationship has some serious issues.

frenchy730

Your fiance did not "cheap out" on you.  A 1Carat ring is a very pricey gift no matter how much he makes.  Just out of curiosity, what were you expecting that made a 1 carat ring seem not good enough?

krmabojo

All I have to say is that it is 1 C ring. Be happy.