Need your thoughts!

ShiroNeko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:4e9b0fe5-f677-478d-bef5-75a1451f2c5cPost:65ec5a79-981b-41cf-ad7b-33b8002190f1">Re: Need your thoughts!</a>:
[QUOTE]Your fiance did not "cheap out" on you.  A 1Carat ring is a very pricey gift no matter how much he makes.  Just out of curiosity, what were you expecting that made a 1 carat ring seem not good enough?
Posted by frenchy730[/QUOTE]

In her follow up she said she was expecting 1.5 cts.

suzieharris

I'm wondering what happened to our new Knottie.  She has not commented on any of our replies.  Did she realize how materialistic she really is or does it not really matter anymore.  I guess that $6K 1C ring is looking pretty darn good right now.  Or maybe her FI logged in and saw the discussion and took the ring back.  ????

luvandlaf

This is to reply to all messages.
First of all, I want to thank you all for replying. Maybe like some of you said, I am materialistic...I just don't realize it. I should have added more to my story. It may not make any difference to you.
Please don't think that I made my decision based on the size or the amount of the ring. I had said yes to my FI a year earlier. It was not a planned proposal so he didn't have the ring then. Since we didn't have the ring, we didn't make it offical. When he asked me again this time, I again said yes without seeing the ring. Within the past year, we talked about what kind of ring to get. And what I actually want is a ring which I can wear forever...meaning no upgrades. I want to keep the ring as it is. Since he can easily afford now, why not? We just bought a house together. We both make good money. If we were still in school, then I could see future upgrades. But we are financially stable. The ring he gave cannot hold a 1.5C diamond because the prongs are too short. So if we were to upgrade, I would have to get a different ring. I wouldn't want to give up the ring I will have worn for so long for another even though it may be bigger. Although I think he could have done better, I am still keeping the 1C as it is...no future upgrades!

jackiie.glez

Sweetie, I really think that you can wear a 1C ring forever without needing to upgrade it. Don't you think that a 1.5 C will look too big on your hand? it may not even look good if your hands are small. Besides, you know that probably he could have given you a ring with a 1.5 C for almost the same price, but lower quality. What do you prefer? size or quality?

I think the only thing you have to remember is that the e-ring is a gift your SO gives to you. I'm sure he put a lot of though (and money) into choosing the right ring for you, and probably it'll hurt his feelings to know you're feeling like he didn't spend enough money on you.

desertmomnm

1 carat is as big as I'd ever want.  I wear mine all day every day and any bigger (mine is 3/4 c.) would get in the way.   Get a nice wedding band and be grateful. 

Schnebs

You spoiled rotten brat!!!!  Your engagement ring is 1 carat?  My e-ring and wedding ring will be a combined 1 carat.   Would I change it for the world?  Hell no!  My FI custom designed a ring based on what I wanted (marquis cut .5 carat diamond with flanking .25 carat saphires) and I wouldn't trade ever.  If my FI had spent $6k on my e-ring I likely would have sent  it back.  If you think that he went cheap on you for what you got I would hate to see the demands that you are going to put on his wallet for your wedding and future.  I kinda feel sorry for him and hope that he never knows how ungrateful you are being about something that he clearly thought you would want and not know how you complained about it to internet strangers.

ShiroNeko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_need-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:4e9b0fe5-f677-478d-bef5-75a1451f2c5cPost:9f6b76c9-0759-48a8-8d51-36ad85e83b59">Re: Need your thoughts!</a>:
[QUOTE]I mentioned this thread to my FI and we both agreed that there is no reason why you couldn't talk to your FI and discuss picking out a new ring together. I'd find a way to bring it up to him and instead of rejecting his ring, suggest that the two of you pick something out that would represent your new union and that you could BOTH contribute to (financially). You're going to be looking at this ring for a very long time, I'd drop the pretense and if you are really this hung up on it just shell out the cash yourself - but before you lose the romance pick it out together. I have a friend that loves her FI but isn't in love with the ring and didn't hesitate to change the setting after she offered to pay. Good luck.  
Posted by seedlessmango[/QUOTE]

I agree that she should get the ring that she likes, since she'll be the one wearing it. However, she said that she likes the design of the ring, and the only thing bothering her is how big it is and how much he spent. It's not like she hates the ring completely. Those two reasons just don't seem good enough to me.

JennaHR

This is something I can't even comprehend. If you love your FI, be glad he wants to share a life with you, and stop worrying about how much he's spending on your ring. Did you want a ring or a husband? And as far as upgrading, I have never understood that either. Isn't it the sentimental value that is important rather than the price tag?

ajoyfulnole

To be fair to OP, I did know a couple once where he was big in the entertainment industry and bought himself a huge house (we're talking $1M+), a huge boat, a ridiculously expensive car, etc,. and when it came time to propose, he bought her an extremely inexpensive itty-bitty diamond.  In this couple's case, however, it was always the very best for him, not so much for her - he would throw big bucks at his friends and make a show of taking them out, but if she asked if they could go to a nice restaurant for their anniversary he was disinclined. He's a very stingy guy - I get that he makes the money, but once you get married isn't it supposed to be "what's mine is yours" and so forth? We all just hope she's happy.  I'm not sure if that's the case here, though.

My FI picked the ring out himself, and he's a traditionalist and he kept insisting that he loved solitaire rings, even though I tended to lean towards rings with interesting cut stones and side stones.  When he proposed, after I stopped crying and screaming "YES!" long enough to actually look at the ring, it is an absoutely gorgeous 1c oval solitaire, with a thicker band and some itneresting work around the stone, and I absolutely LOVE it!  It's perfect and it's sparkly and I get gooey-eyed just looking at it - but maybe that's because it's from FI ;-)

I do know several girls who IMMEDIATELY went to jewelers to have their rings "appraised" - i.e., checked for quality and value - and scrutinized them with jeweler's loops.  One even had a fit that hers was vvsi1 or something equally minor.  No way!  I love my ring.  It could be CZ for all I know or care.  He already insured it - why on earth do I need to know it's street value?

lizstill13

Hey, I immediately went out and had my ring appraised so I could add it to my renters insurance in case anything happened to it. My FI spent a lot of time/money picking out the perfect ring for me and if something happens to it I don't want it to be a total loss. I talked with the appraiser (with my FI present, by the way) and looked in the magnifying glass and saw a flaw, but you know what, it's my flaw and I love it and I'll always know it's my diamond when I take it to the jewelers.

mccartys

I would be over the moon if my fiance got me a 1c ring. I have a .75 c and it is of a really nice quality, so I don't mind that it is not a huge rock.

Be happy with what you have - just knowing that my fiance picked this ring out for me and loved me enough to give it to me makes me so happy and proud to wear it.

AmandalovesAl

Ever think about TALKING to him?! Maybe he thought that you really would like the ring!! If you can't talk to him about things like this, how is a marriage going to work out?  My FI bought me a beatiful .71 C Princess cut solitare w/ 4 prong white gold ring.  I am IN LOVE with it AND him!! Money is tight and I know he saved for monthes to buy it.  He also knew this is exactly the ring I would have picked for myself.

I would be curious what he would say if you presented it to him asking why he picked this ring and go from there.