Engagment Party

giselleb1688

i recently got in engaged on xmas eve...i started planning my engagment party something smiply....my question is cause lately my mother has be getting the same phone what should we get your daugther my mom and friends told me to register i dont know if i should i dont want people to feel like they have to bring my husband to be and myself a gift what should i do??????

KappaK

No you shouldn't register.  You also should not be planning your own engagement party.  That is something that someone is supposed to throw for you.

pandasquishy

No, there is no need to register until 4 to 5 months out.  Also, you should not be throwing yourself any pre-wedding parties, including engagement parties, showers, bachelorettes, etc.  These are parties thrown for a bride, not by the bride.  

alwysbrdmaid

I didn't know people still had engagement parties. Certainly don't register for gifts. Its enough that people will have to travel and give you a gift for your wedding. No offense but it would look greedy to me.

AmoroAgain

So, let me get this straight- you're gift grabby AND an AW?  Awesome.  I see great things coming from you in the future.  I look forward to it.  Just so we're clear on etiquette here--

1) You do NOT throw your own engagement party.
2) You do NOT register for your engagement party.
3) If people bring gifts, that's great, but it's just a party to say, yeah! We're happy! Not another occaision for you to get presents.

Also, please re-read your post before hitting the button.  Half of that made zero sense until read a couple of times.

RaiKai

Yeah, you don't throw your own engagement party (or shower, or bachelorette party....). Nor are they mandatory. We never had an engagement party - we live far from family and friends. One of our relatives did send us enough money for a nice dinner out "on them" to celebrate though, which was entirely unexpected but very considerate.

And no, you definitely, definitely do NOT register for an engagement party.

kristinanddan

Ditto everybody else.

klynn86

Registries are for showers and the wedding only! 

You usually do not get (or expect!!) gifts given to you for getting engaged! 

An engagement party is to celebrate the announcement with friends and family, not for them to buy you things.  I would find it really tacky if I was invited to an engagement party by the bride and then given registry information from her.....

Isn't this common sense??

DinnenydeFlores

I wish that some peopel weren't so negative...not everyone has the same experiences with weddings....

Canuck1043

if people are calling to get info about what you want as presents, then you should register, regardless of the occassion. It might be a bit pre-mature to register, but if that's normal in your circle of friends, go for it!

Also not sure why so many negative comments.

2xtime

Agree w/pp. You should not be planning your own engagement party. I would discourage people from bringing gifts to engagement party. I assume someone will throw you a shower prior to the wedding where people will bring gifts and then the actual wedding gifts. Engagement gift is a bit much to ask of your guests (3 gifts?)

saylovesmark

My mother threw us an engagement party- it wasn't on our radar but it was a fantastic idea ... It's a great way for your families to spend time together before the wedding. We have yet to be registered and we told guests that gifts were unneccessary. Folks still brought cards or wine or something small, but it helps everyone relax and enjoy themselves if they know they're not obligated to spend a bunch of money on you. This is about eliminating akward moments when you combine families at your wedding. Let everyone get their jitters out well in advance and they'll know exactly what to get you when the real deal rolls around.

lullabymommy

I don't see any harm in registering but do NOT give out the information unless people ask. It's common in my area to register ahead of time for convenience.. that way birthdays,xmas etc. are simple.

SarahPLiz

You should not plan your own engagement party, period. If someone throws one for you, don't register. If the guests ask what to get you, tell them that no gifts are necessary. Also, be sure that you are prepared to invite all of those guests to the actual wedding. All guests at pre-wedding parties should be invited to the actual wedding.

Also, next time you post, please use some punctuation. I have no idea what your mom having the same phone as you has to do with an engagement party..

....my question is cause lately my mother has be getting the same phone what should we get your daugther my mom and friends told me to register i dont know if i should i dont want people to feel like they have to bring my husband to be and myself a gift what should i do??????

smile2800

Wow.. well AmoroAgain didn't have to be so mean... but to start off with CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!!! And as i've been hearing you don't really registar for your engagement party. It is just meant to be simple. Mainly meant for the people that will be with you and your new finace on your wedding day & to just mingle and spend time with you both. Just another reason to get people you care about together and have a good time before the big day! Simple backyard cookouts, a dinner at your favorite restaurant, or a simple dinner at a house big enough to hold the group. Ya, your bridesmaids, a friends, parents, or whomever is said to supposed to throw your party... but if you don't have creative of a group to do so or don't have a group in the first place.. then go for it!!!! Have fun!

Mrs.B6302007

Kayln - there is a thread above you need to read

SuMmErKuTiE

Congrats on your engagement! Yes, people still have engagement parties, most of my friends have, and we had ours about 2 months after getting engaged. We weren't expecting gifts, but everyone who came either brought a gift or money which we were very grateful for but were shocked! The gifts ranged from bottles of wine, to wedding frames, etc.. We had an amazing time with our closest friends and family and I'm so glad we had an engagement party. 

Enjoy your engagement and your engagement party! 

Do you need to register? That's at your own discretion.. if people are asking then that means you should register. All circles are different, some would consider it gift grabby, but others expect it because they want to be able to get you a gift that you'll need to build your life together. But don't broadcast that you've already registered, just let your parents know where you're registered so they can pass along the information if and only if someone asks for it. Also, don't forget to check in on your registries ever so often to update it because things tend to get discontinued when registering this far out. HTH!

2xtime

Was this post changed? I could have sworn there was originally a poll included where the majority of people voted "NO" to registering for gifts for an engagement. Maybe it was a diffierent post

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagment-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:53cf1bce-4fce-4fca-b33f-96246a82f4b5Post:e6415092-f8d0-4e85-a244-6cd867e445e0">Re: Engagment Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish that some peopel weren't so negative...not everyone has the same experiences with weddings....
Posted by DinnenydeFlores[/QUOTE]

I know!  It's so obnoxious when people have manners and try to impose their class on other people!  Not everyone wants to be polite all the time.  Geez!

Definately throw you own party, and register.  Be sure to include those registry cards so people will know that a gift is expected.  This is the best shot you'll have in your life for getting gifts and people to look at you, so make the most of it.  You should also be sure to throw yourself at least 3 showers, and if people don't bring good enough gifts, don't invite them to the wedding. 

I <3 Seabass

We did not register for our e-party but I don't see the harm in starting your wedding registry early, especially if people are specifically asking what to get you. Only give the info to people who ask for it though, don't include your registry info on the invites or anything. 

Here's an article about it that might help.

http://www.soulfulengagements.com/1/post/2009/10/q-should-we-register-for-our-engagement-party.html

bablingbrooke

Better to have the ladies here point out the bad idea bluntly than to go through with it and have your friends and family think you're gift-grabby and selfish when you were really just unaware of the etiquette.

noonescookie

I had friends who did throw their own engagement party, but it was because many of the people in their families and wedding party did not know one another. They wanted to provide an opportunity for us to meet and mingle before we had to begin planning showers and such. They gave every guest a nametag with their name and role in the wedding, and provided food and drinks in their home. They made it very much about us and not just them, so it felt very appropriate.

Many people brought gifts, but the couple did not request them or provide registry information.