Just got engaged? Read this

Jessalyn2013

Hi Ladies...Congratulations on your engagement if you are reading this and recently got engaged. The first thing you probably want to do is tell everybody (go ahead!). The second thing you are probably thinking about is your bridal party- Please don't!

You do not need to pick your party until 6-9 months before the wedding. Please wait on picking anyone, especially if you have a long engagement. Friendships and relationships can change in a matter of months. There's a lot of girls on here that regretted picking who they picked etc. (Just go to the Wedding Party board).

When it comes time to pick, you do not need to have even sides. This is not a big deal, and nobody will notice- so whoever you want to be a part of it, have at it. Good luck!

coopergirl15

Hi Jess, the advice of picking the wedding party is situational and people will do what they please regardless of this thread. In fact, a post of this nature might be offensive to those who chose their wedding party early and have no regrets. It's just best to leave your advice for individual threads where an opinion on when to pick the wedding party is asked for. Just giving my own unsolicited advice, because it works both ways. :]

coopergirl15

Hi Ladies...Congratulations on your engagement if you are reading this and recently got engaged. The first thing you probably want to do is tell everybody go ahead!. The second thing you are probably thinking about is your bridal party Please don't! You do not need to pick your party until 69 months before the wedding. Please wait on picking anyone, especially if you have a long engagement. Friendships and relationships can change in a matter of months. There's a lot of girls on here that regretted picking who they picked etc. Just go to the Wedding Party board. When it comes time to pick, you do not need to have even sides. This is not a big deal, and nobody will notice so whoever you want to be a part of it, have at it. Good luck! Posted by Jessalyn2013

JIC.

freebread03

Whew, thanks Jess, I was about to go ask my wedding party, but after reading your post, I am now going to wait!  You've totally saved my wedding.  Honestly, I see why you made this post, but come on now, maybe the timing wasn't right.

Seriously, lurk a little (I think others have told you this on other boards).  Or are you the one who asked your MOH way too eary and are now fighting with her and your FI told her off, and you were considering not even inviting her because she stepped down after your FI told her off?  Oh, yep: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-bowed-out  

HobokenBride2012

Jess just so you know random PSA like yours do not go over well. especially from new posters that people aren't familiar with.

coopergirl15

I see where you're coming from. I'm sorry you're going through this drama with your [former?] MOH. You didn't pick wrongly, you simply picked a drama queen and then your FI put in his opinion where it wasn't wanted or needed, causing the blow out. Honestly, it could've happened even if you waited until the "right time" and had a chance to "think about it." This has nothing to do with you choosing your BP early and everything to do with your FI and MOH's lack of social grace. You'll figure it out, and your wedding will go well with or without this drama queen as your MOH. You've had a bad time, but just because you had a terrible experience it doesn't mean that others shouldn't pick their BP early. You can share your story as a cautionary tale, but people will, as I said before, do their own thing regardless. Posting an "advice" thread like this one ISN'T the way to go.

Lilyrose4242

Please lurk more before posting.

ahstillwell

Curses, I guess that we shouldn't have chosen our wedding parties the day after we got engaged eleven months before our wedding. I knew that the friends we've had our entire lives would be a bad idea.

I've obviously ruined our wedding. Ruined it.

SCD1126

It's not fair to make such generalizations, but I do believe your heart was in the right place. 

Every one has different experiences with wedding planning. We live and learn. Your experience will not be everyone else's, and vice versa.

Jessalyn2013

My bad. I guess this isn't the right place to do it. I genuinely thought I was being helpful. And yes obviously I did pick my party too soon but I'm clearly not the only one. Just trying to save future brides a headache later on down the line.

Jessalyn2013

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this:

Whew, thanks Jess, I was about to go ask my wedding party, but after reading your post, I am now going to wait! nbsp;You've totally saved my wedding. nbsp;Honestly, I see why you made this post, but come on now, maybe the timing wasn't right.Seriously, lurk a little I think others have told you this on other boards. nbsp;Or are you the one who asked your MOH way too eary and are now fighting with her and your FI told her off, and you were considering not even inviting her because she stepped down after your FI told her off? nbsp;Oh, yep:nbsp;http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/weddingboards_weddingparty_mohbowedout nbsp; Posted by freebread03

Sarcasm is not necessary, but thanks. And there's a lot more to her than what was posted.

Jessalyn2013

And could someone please tell me what JIC means? I assume it means just in case but what's the meaning of attaching it to something I wrote? Just curious. Ah, maybe I should read the rules, regulations, etiquette and acronyms of the knot before I start posting.

HobokenBride2012

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this:

And could someone please tell me what JIC means? I assume it means just in case but what's the meaning of attaching it to something I wrote? Just curious. Ah, maybe I should read the rules, regulations, etiquette and acronyms of the knot before I start posting.
Posted by Jessalyn2013

JIC means as you said Just in Case.

It's very common when a new poster gets responses that they don't want to hear for them to erase their original post. This is in bad form.  Regulars have learned to quote and respond with JIC in the event of a DD (dirty delete as we call this).

Jessalyn2013

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this:

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this : JIC means as you said Just in Case. It's very common when a new poster gets responses that they don't want to hear for them to erase their original post. This is in bad form.  Regulars have learned to quote and respond with JIC in the event of a DD (dirty delete as we call this).
Posted by HobokenBride2012

Thank you. Makes sense, I get why people would delete their posts.

Jessalyn2013

I'll leave everything I say so even if I say the wrong thing, new posters can learn from my own ignorance and will know what not to say/post.

Jessalyn2013

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this:

In Response to Re:Just got engaged? Read this : JIC means as you said Just in Case. It's very common when a new poster gets responses that they don't want to hear for them to erase their original post. This is in bad form.  Regulars have learned to quote and respond with JIC in the event of a DD (dirty delete as we call this).
Posted by HobokenBride2012

Thank you. Makes sense, I get why people would delete their posts.

coopergirl15

You'll pull through the embarrassing/saddening moments of your wedding. They happen to everyone, as you can clearly see from other threads; so you shouldn't feel alone. PSA's like "don't choose your BP early!" are generally frowned on because while your experience is unique to you, very similar events have happened on the forums before, and your advice is both common knowledge and common sense, so there is no need to mention it. Thank you for leaving your posts as they are. Editing for clarity and grammar is fine; we've had way too many people delete their posts after they get unfavorable responses here, which is unfortunate.

coremst

Hello!
My Fiance and I just got engaged December 23, 2012!!!!! We have already set a date and the wedding plans seem to be coming together very nicely!! I'm really excited and also excited to not have to plan the wedding and just enjoy my engagement!! I have no reservations on my BP choice! I am finding each of them add thier own excitement to the mix which is super awesome to watch!!!




In Response to Just got engaged? Read this:

Hi Ladies...Congratulations on your engagement if you are reading this and recently got engaged. The first thing you probably want to do is tell everybody (go ahead!). The second thing you are probably thinking about is your bridal party- Please don't! You do not need to pick your party until 6-9 months before the wedding. Please wait on picking anyone, especially if you have a long engagement. Friendships and relationships can change in a matter of months. There's a lot of girls on here that regretted picking who they picked etc. (Just go to the Wedding Party board). When it comes time to pick, you do not need to have even sides. This is not a big deal, and nobody will notice- so whoever you want to be a part of it, have at it. Good luck!
Posted by Jessalyn2013

kel50785

Its not about picking your party too soon.  its about picking the right person.  I asked my best friend the day after I got engaged. We have been best friends for 15 yrs and have always had eachothers back and been there for eachother.  Yes, we fight and act like sisters who hate eachother some days but I chose her knowing that on my wedding day she would let anyone or anything ruin my day.  You just have to pick someone you can trust with anything and know will step up to the task.  And she did just that!  And I have no regrets asking her a year early

jakigaudet

I don't think there was anything wrong with your original post, Jess. Don't even sweat it.