Is My Engagement Ring To "Trendy" Should I Go More Traditional?

eleveneleventwentythree

We recently got engaged on August 24th 2010. 
My Fiance' surprised me on our 10th anniversary with a Le Vian Chocolate Diamond engagement ring. 

I will admit at a glance it doesn't  scream "I'm engaged" but I also don't think it looks like a standard fashion ring. 

For me, it was love at first sight, especially since I was at the point of being willing to accept a fruit loop, LOL 
But after a few not so encouraging comments, including those from my Fiance, I'm starting to feel my long term non-traditional desires might have been a poor choice. 
I've talked about getting a Le Vian chocolate diamond engagement ring since 2008, when my Fiance gave me my first Le Vian piece  for Christmas, it had chocolate diamond accents. Before being introduced to Chocolate diamonds I wanted the long sought after Canary yellow diamond, pretty much anything to be different and stand out.

But only a week after our engagement my Fiance randomly stated it's definitely not the ring he planned to get me but he wanted to make me happy. He doesn't feel it "looks" like an engagement ring but if i'm happy he's happy.
Which immediately caused me to be very concerned. 
Even though I know it's my ring, my choice. 
The mere thought of him paying a hefty price for a ring he doesn't care for really bothers me. 

My brother (whose opinion I value more than anything else in the world) even suggested for future argument sake, we should at least go look at more traditional rings.

So by week two of being confused, we decided to take a trip to the jewelry store and look. Well that trip caused a huge fight because my Fiance got very defensive about me possibly returning "my first engagement ring." 
I tried to explain to him, I love my ring and only wanted us both to be happy but the damage was already done. 

After leaving the jewelry store , not talking for a few hours, and me breaking down in tears, we decided to have a serious talk about "the ring." 

I explained to my Fiance , I wanted a ring that we both felt represented us and our union. If he didn't feel this way about the ring he got, "just to make me happy" , than I think we should mutually select a ring. 
So with us both in a more reasonable state of mind,  we decided I would look around and once I found what I liked we would go look at it together, then make a decision.

Well needless to say we've been engaged for almost a month, and I truly just can't find anything else that captivates me as much as the ring I have now. 
I love being different and when I try on "traditional rings" I don't really think they fit my style or individuality. 

The traditional rings I find that I do get the "that's my ring" feeling from are almost double the price of my Fiance's original purchase. My Fiance keeps saying he doesn't mind paying more for our comfort but we just purchased a house a few months ago, and I would feel selfish adding additional financial burdens now.

I thought time would run out and we would just get past "the ring" issue but 
my Fiance recently reminded me we only have 2 months left if we are going to exchange my ring, which shows he still thinks about it. 



So my question, after my long winded story, LOL

is what do you ladies think?? please give me your honest opinions...

Is my ring to trendy?? should I go for a more traditional engagement ring??







Here's a picture of my current ring.
Its white gold,  Chocolate Diamond Center stone, with White and Chocolate Diamond accents, made by Le Vian.

I honestly don't even feel the picture does it justice. Total weight is 1 1/2 carats. 

Need serious advice.
HELP!!!!

~~~~WOW~~~~
You ladies are amazing!!!!! I can't thank you ALL enough for giving me such deep, insightful, and much appreciated feedback!

and here is an ~~~UPDATE~~~

I never thought I would see or find another ring that I loved more than my first.
Well on Saturday my FI surprised me with an upgrade and it was love beyond first sight.
He got up before me and had a custom setting created.

He told me, in his heart although he gave me the ring he knew I would like, he wanted us both to loveeeeee my ring for years to come and if he couldn't find it, he would have it made.
Keep in mind,
I thought we were going to pick up my original ring (because he originally said , he just took mine in that morning to be cleaned) 

Well, when we got to the jewelry store, the jeweler came out with a completely different ring, I even said, 
"Sir, I think you made a mistake, that's not my ring"  LOL
and as I looked back at my FI,  he was down on one knee in front of EVERYONE and popped the question all over again, adding with "Our ring" 


I said yes, yes, yes, and at that point realized, I guess I'm more traditional than I thought because it wasn't a fancy color diamond, and I didn't need to have that "different" feeling,  the only thing that matters is we are FINALLY getting married, so any ring will be "our ring" but since he went though all this additional trouble, that's not something I will ever mention

My FI even had the jeweler add a piece of my old ring into the new setting so I could always have apart of it with me. 
What more can a girl truly ask for but a happy marriage!!!


And last but not least.....
Here's a pic of the new addition....

I have to say, I don't mind owning an engagement ring that, screams
"I'm engaged" ... LOL



Thank you, thank you, thank you.....
Nothing but good wishes and love to you all!
 

AdeleDazeem

If you like it and you are happy with it, who cares what anyone else thinks?

I have some friends from college who got engaged and the girl wore a band with dates engraved on the sides as her engagement ring.  Was is a traditional engagement ring?  Hardly.  Did she get asked some questions about it?  Yup.  Did she love her ring and that clearly came across in her answers?  Definitely.

For what it's worth, I like your ring.  I think it looks like an engagement ring and is different.

heyimbren

I think you and your FI are wayyyyy overthinking this.

It's a beautiful ring, IMO. And it sounds like you're in love with it, so I really don't see the point in looking or changing it.

If your FI didn't want to buy you that one, he shouldn't have in the first place. But he did and you're in love with it. I think it's nice that you're sensitive to his feelings about it, but I think this has gone too far. He sounds upset both ways.

In the end, it really is "just" a ring (albeit a beautiful, meaningful one). But your engagement ring shouldn't cause this much stress.

"Traditional" engagement rings don't mean a whole lot anymore. There's a girl on here that was engaged with a zip-tie at first. Others have sapphire rings, moissanite, plain bands, or no engagement ring at all.

Any ring can look like an engagement ring, assuming it's on your ring finger. That's how I see it anyways. The ring is just a symbol. I don't think your ring is "too trendy". And I don't think it matters what other people think, as long as YOU love it and your FI is happy that you love it.

Istremene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-ring-trendy-should-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:62b89a64-d582-4e64-9379-9f5c2e81bb9bPost:8aa9bacd-f725-4d7a-9036-b884ab904ac9">Re: Is My Engagement Ring To "Trendy" Should I Go More Traditional?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you and your FI are wayyyyy overthinking this. It's a beautiful ring, IMO. And it sounds like you're in love with it, so I really don't see the point in looking or changing it.
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  Heyimbren is wise.</div>

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-ring-trendy-should-traditional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:62b89a64-d582-4e64-9379-9f5c2e81bb9bPost:400350d8-f36d-4384-81a0-278000f5cb5a">Re: Is My Engagement Ring To "Trendy" Should I Go More Traditional?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is My Engagement Ring To "Trendy" Should I Go More Traditional? : This.  Heyimbren is wise.
Posted by Istremene[/QUOTE]

Oooh, I'm flattered - thank you! ;)

jnc1113

Your ring is stunning.  FI and I got engaged without any ring at all.  As PPs have pointed out, what matters is that you two are planning to spend the rest of your lives together.  If that ring is the one that makes you happy, there's no reason to feel like you need something "traditional" for the rest of the world.  Enjoy it!

kathrynhabibti

I agree with PPs. And fwiw, I think your ring is gorgeous and totally looks like an e-ring.

HobokensFury

I think it's beautiful and it looks like an engagement ring to me.

desertmomnm

It definitely looks like an engagement ring.  I don't get why he got mad in the first place when he was the one who suggested that he didn't really want to get that ring. 

I'm a very traditional girl, but you are not.  If you love your ring, who cares what others think.  I'd tell your fiance you haven't found anything you love more and you want to begin your lives together on a solid foot financially.  I doubt I'll ever upgrade my ring ( not that it's huge or anything, but not the way my husband thinks), but that's always an option later in your future. 

artbyallie

Keep in mind also that the 'traditional' diamond engagement ring has only been the tradition since the 1930s. So screw 'tradition'... darn, now that word has me singing the song from Fiddler on the Roof in my head...

staceytaylor0704

I think its beautiful, and if you love it- thats what matters. You have to wear it for the rest of your life.

meganb1977

Agree with pp's that it DOES look like an engagement ring.  A lady at a jewelers reminded me when I was looking for rings that Princess Diana and Fergie both had colored stones and the center stone did not need to be a colorless diamond.  And the jeweler where we purchased my ring was showing several designs with yellow diamonds.  It sounds like you are happy with your ring since you never saw anything else that you felt as strongly about and you want something unique.  The only reason it would be too trendy is if, when you ask yourself if you can see yourself still wearing it and loving it in ten or 20 years, you say "no."  IMHO, you should be sweet to your fiance and reassure him that he got you the ring you wanted and you love it.  Don't forget guys can get insecure too :-)  Kudos to him for being a big enough man to get you what you wanted instead of what he envisioned for himself!

Jennifer&Nate

Your ring is fabulous and definitely looks like an engagement ring! It's nontraditional, but if you're a nontraditional kind of girl, then it's perfect for you! Don't change your engagement ring because of outside pressure. Wear what makes you feel beautiful. 

mediacy

Gorgeous, definitely looks like an engagement ring, and complements your hand perfectly--thoughtful fiance!

mereesabaptiste

I love your new ring!! It acutally looks ALOT like mine LOL!!

Good job FI!!! )

Cograts guys!!

eleveneleventwentythree

1st Congrats on being newly engaged!!!
I completely agree with you wanting to be unique and Le Vian makes amazing jewelry but sometimes I'm a little to trendy for my FI. LOL
Like in this case, my vision was a colored diamond and Le Vian setting.
But
In all honesty although I loved being different, I of course love him more and wanted him to be just as happy.

My 1st ring didn't have that spark for him but now I think we both have something we will be happy with for years to come.

The new ring still gives me that vintage inspired engagment ring with a non-traditional twist, I want and he got the classic white diamond he likes.
(which does have a lifetime warranty)


"the ring" was always just that, "the ring"

it's the marriage that counts for me.

"the ring is a nice pretty bonus!

Vintagelove4

I'm glad you got it all figured out! I really like the chocolate diamonds too.