Engagement party

lilacstulips

My F thinks that having an engagement party is tacky and another excuse to get more gifts out of people.  I want one though...  can we host our own engagement party?

redheadfsu

Do not throw one for yourself. That is very tacky and is horribly gift grabby. (People may talk about you behind your back, kind of thing).  If someone offers to throw you one then say yes, if not you don't get one.

HobokensFury

It's considered tacky to throw your own engagement party.  My mom wanted to throw me and FI one but I said I would rather she put that money towards something for the wedding.  And that's what she did.

motoLyn

My FI's parents hosted the party at their house, the food was provided by BOTH of our parents, FI and I paid for our engagement cakes.  So in a way it was a three way split.  The thing was it was an casual engagement BBQ, set for the afternoon.  So I sent out the e-vites under the name of FI's parents.  And mentioned that the presence of those attending was a gift to us.  We didn't register anywhere nor did anyone ask us where we registered.  To us it was just to have people come and eat and be merry and celebrate our engagement.  It was a small party of 35 people attending, and out of 35 only 5 people brought gifts.  Nothing big, a bottle of wine, a Willow Tree figurine and a couple of gift cards. 

I don't think its tacky to host your own but I think it depends on how or what type of party you're thinking of. 

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-party-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:722f40cd-a4a9-43d2-af64-3389fec7eddcPost:f2290e1b-e5b5-4e3d-9a36-a73c88ae12ff">Engagement party</a>:
[QUOTE]My F thinks that having an engagement party is tacky and another excuse to get more gifts out of people.  I want one though...  can we host our own engagement party?
Posted by lilacstulips[/QUOTE]

It's a party in your honour, so your FI is right on this one. Etiquette-wise you should not throw one for yourselves. You shouldn't host a party in your honour yourselves.

If someone offers to throw you one, then you can graciously accept. But in this case, even your FI said he doesn't want to throw one for you two. It would seem silly to me to go against etiquette and your FI on this one.

If you just want a time for families to come together and get to know each other, then host a dinner at your house for that that is separate from your engagement.