Newly engaged glow fading?

sunshine8372

I got engaged on Christmas Eve and the high is already fading. I'm starting to stress about the wedding already. I don't know if I should have one or not. I feel like when I invite extended family I have to invite everyone. Truth be told I'm closer with my friends then a lot of my family. My fiancé and I don't have a ton of money and we want to buy a house too.

I guess I'm feeling overwhelmed and was wondering if any other newly engaged ladies felt this way?

AddieL73

Congrats on your engagement! There is no hurry; take some time and enjoy being engaged. Then talk with your fiance about your expectations of the wedding. I felt overwhelmed, too, and waited a whole year before I started actively planning the wedding.

SCD1126

Congratulations on your engagement.

Once FI and I started making some decisions and got to talking about each of our expectations and visions for the wedding, some of the stress went away. There IS a lot to do, but you're tackling it together and for the most part it should be FUN.

I like theknot's checklist tool because it breaks tasks down by month so it doesn't feel like I'm having to deal with everything at once.

As for the guest list, each of us made a "wish list" of guests. Once we saw the names on paper it was easier to decide who to cut (we trimmed about 20 people plus kids off). Both of us feel really good about who will be invited. Our closest friends and family. 

If any parents want their input on the guest list, don't hesitate to suggest that you will need help paying for their meals or whatever. If you are paying 100% for the wedding, YOU should be in complete control of the guest list.

AndreaV26

I'm in the same situation! I've been engaged less than a month and it's stressing me out! We are paying for the wedding completely ourselves. We got to the point where we knew we had two options. 1) Get married in late July/early August (I'm a teacher and have to get married in the summer), and keep it small, as in 50 MAX! or 2) Wait another year until summer 2014 and have a big wedding.
After lots of talking and debating, we decided to do a small wedding sooner. First of all, we don't want to wait to be married. We are ready to start the next chapter of our lives. Also, big weddings can be a circus. It becomes too much about flowers and food, and all that stuff that is simply not going to matter 30 years from now. We want it to be about us. Small and intimate.
So just have an honest conversation about what you want, and how much what you want is going to cost.

slgirl21

I've been engaged for about 5 days now, and I'm still on cloud 9, probably because it was totally unexpected, but I do feel a little over whelmed, because I don't know what direction i want to go in, and I see things I like, but nothing I love. I would just take a step back and enjoy the moment for a while, maybe take a weekend trip somewhere to celebrate your engagement. and don't worry we are all here for  ya and are all going through the same thing.

ahstillwell

Yeah, I'm quietly panicking about paying for the wedding, but I was relieved to find out on Christmas that my fiancé's parents are wanting to invite VERY few people from his family, so we shouldn't have more than 60-80 people at the wedding. We were worried that they wanted to invite his dad's entire family and that would have put us at well over 100 people. Paying for the food of 60-80 people is definitely easier!!

sunshine8372

Thanks everyone! Don't get me wrong I'm very happy that I'm engaged. I guess it's a little daunting when we are paying for it ourselves and we want to buy a house too.

amymaysa

In Response to Re: Newly engaged glow fading?:

Thanks everyone! Don't get me wrong I'm very happy that I'm engaged. I guess it's a little daunting when we are paying for it ourselves and we want to buy a house too.
Posted by sunshine8372

Congrats.

I suggest you both sit down and figure out what you want more. You can easily do a small wedding and then buy a house, you just might need to wait a little while longer.
Or have a bigger wedding and push off the house for longer.

It's just one day, where a house has a longer life span, just remember that

addieth4

We're in the same boat! Got engaged (total surprise) last Saturday and was crazy happy for like 3 days and then the panic of how we were gonna pull this off set in. We're also paying for it ourselves. But we just booked a venue (within our budget yay!) today and it already feels like some stress is gone! I have found its better if I rotate looking at fun stuff for a bit then do actual stuff, like calling venues etc, then take a break and go back to fun stuff. Congrats on your engagement!

sunshine8372

In Response to Re: Newly engaged glow fading?:

We're in the same boat! Got engaged (total surprise) last Saturday and was crazy happy for like 3 days and then the panic of how we were gonna pull this off set in. We're also paying for it ourselves. But we just booked a venue (within our budget yay!) today and it already feels like some stress is gone! I have found its better if I rotate looking at fun stuff for a bit then do actual stuff, like calling venues etc, then take a break and go back to fun stuff. Congrats on your engagement!
Posted by addieth4

Congrats on your engagement as well! I think that's what it is panic about how to pay for everything.