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Just Engaged and Proposals

Ring Shopping

So, we're not engaged YET...but we're shopping around.  At first my bf was getting irritated with me because I'd see a ring online that I liked and I'd email it to him or I'd cut out pics out of magazines.  He said that if I keep bringing up the ring and talk about getting engaged..when he finally does propose it won't be as much as a suprise. Well...now HE is getting irritating to me lol! I understand that he just wants the ring to be perfect and he wants me to love it-but he's always emailing me picures of diamonds and rings and the stats. By now he should know what I want! He'll find a ring online, show me and I'll fall in love with it but he says he's not ready to buy anything yet. Why show me something if you aren't ready to buy it yet!!!???  Its torture and so frustrating. How do I nicely tell him to leave me out of the process from now on?! And yes, I know the ring is not important but it actually is to him...

Re: Ring Shopping

  • If I were you, I would definitely be all over the e-mails and pics he's sending.  I was only with my boyfriend for 8 months when he proposed.  He's a bit older than me and was ready to settle down so we'd talked about our future but I never thought he would propose so soon.  One day he asked me to send him pics of what I thought would be the perfect ring.  I thought nothing of it because we weren't together that long so I showed him all sorts of pictures... by the end of the week he'd bought one of the rings I showed him and we've been engaged for over a year!  We are getting married at the end of the summer!  You never know what could happen!
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  • you could tell him that if he's so worried about it, to not buy one and just propose with an empty box with a plastic ring or soemthing funny like that.  that way you guys can pick it out together.

    or send him an email with 5 pics "these are what i like. i trust you" and let him worry on his own.

    I showed my man about 4 or 5 pics. we had fun looking online one day. the ring he actually custom-made was similar but more simple (didn't have scrolling on the sides of the band, but it had the round center diamond and channelset band like i liked). he went and made/bought it about 2 or 3 months after we had talked (when I conveniently was on the other side of the globe on a trip) ---- to be honest. i could care less what pictures I liked. yes, the other one is gorgeous, but this one is MINE. =D

    its cute that he wants to make it perfect for you...he's definitely feeling out your ideas. what a good man to be so attentive! =D good luck!
  • INKYCHICK-I was with my BF for 3 years almost 4 before he proposed.  I wanted to be engaged way before then but I waited it out...I was VERY anxious though.  I LOVE diamonds and know exactly what I wanted.  Before we were engaged I would tell my BF what I liked...in example, all my jewerly is white gold, color clarity, ect.  The reason color and clarity came up is b/c I bought myself very expensive diamond studs and HE inquired about the specs one day.  I would mention diamond related things in passing.  He proposed on Halloween and CAME AS A TOTAL SHOCK TO ME.  I had NO clude he had picked out a ring for me.  I shouldn't say picked out...designed.  He hand picked the diamonds, setting, color, clarity, etc.  A couple weeks before he proposed, he asked me about diamonds.  I was like "alright you want to ask me all these questions, fine I'll spill my guts".  I figure I better tell him what I like so I can get something of what I wanted.  My thought was "either he already got a ring and he's trying to throw me off or he is in the process of getting info together to buy one". 

    I would say be patient and wait....I know its hard and you want it badly, but he could be throwing you a curve ball.  It will happen trust me.  I know its easier said than done, but try to be patient.  I bet you'll LOVE it once it happens.  Smile

    Sorry for the book,  but thought I'd share my story.    GL 
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  • He is very attentive and I'm sure he'll do a good job.  He seems so unsure though. He's gotta be just throwing me off the tracks or something...somethings up haha! I'm very excited for when that time comes though. Excited and impatient!!
  • When he does I'd Love to see it! I hope you'll share once he asks you. :-). PM me if you want. :-)
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  • LenaFLenaF member
    10 Comments
    I was in your shoes exactly. We've been together for over 6 years now and we've had our WD picked out for 2 years. So I would send him pictures and hints ALL the time. I wouldn't pressure him into talking about it but one day he up and said, "let's go look at rings" I was SHOCKED! We went into 5 different stores...comparing diamonds and prices. He was talking to the ladies helping us like he worked in the diamond business. He admitted that he had spent the night before researching diamonds and which were the best. That touched me in more ways than he'll ever know.

    I would definitely lay it all out there as to what you like. Give it to him and let him take it from there. Give him all your favorite C's and let him know that you trust him and that you will absolutely adore anything he gives you b/c it's coming from him. Good luck and Congrats!! :)
  • Just relax a little. Stop thinking about and talking about rings. My FI shopped, researched and picked out the ring himself and I never once said anything. I didn't even know he was doing it. I think that's the best part about getting engaged. The surprise of it all. The best part is not knowing when it's going to happen, where it'll happen or what the ring looks like. I actually had a different ring pictured in my head and even made a comment just days before he proposed that I didn't like yellow gold. Guess what. My ring is yellow gold. And I love it.

    Just relax and let him do his thing. And if he tries to show you pictures, or bring it up, just tell him that you'd like to be surprised and you don't want to be involved at all.
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  • Maybe tell him you're done looking at pictures and online, and are from now on open to shopping in-person where you can try things on and get a really good idea what you like.

    FI and I went to about 8 different stores and spent 8+ hours shopping in person, as well as hours online before.  I was able to find one I LOVED last night, after narrowing down what I didn't like.

    For me, it just had to click and I had to fall in love with it.  I didn't get it until it happened - feels the same as it did when I met FI and fell in love with him.  FI was smarter than me and didn't let me tell him "just buy it already" - he didn't want to make a move until I was dead sure that it was "the one".

    When you find "the one", you'll know.  But for me that wasn't able to happen until I actually had the ring on my finger, and gazed into the diamond, and then knew it was absolutely the one I wanted.

    It's for the rest of your life, so don't you want to fall in love with it too?  I think he's trying to prompt that "moment" when you see "the one" and fall in love with it so he knows exactly what to propose with!
  • In Response to Re: Ring Shopping:
    He is very attentive and I'm sure he'll do a good job.  He seems so unsure though. He's gotta be just throwing me off the tracks or something...somethings up haha! I'm very excited for when that time comes though. Excited and impatient!!
    Posted by inkychick
    I struggle daily with impatience, especially about this, I know exactly how you feel!  That's why FI made me go to like 9 different stores and spend so much time shopping, he knew I needed to be forced to wait awhile longer because he didn't want my impatience to get in the way of buying the perfect ring.

    DON'T WORRY and find something else to do!  Impatient people need to be distracted from whatever they are impatient about.  I know firsthand lol.
  • My boyfriend and I are not yet engaged either. We have the date, reception site, band, photographer, and church booked, but we aren't engaged just yet. (Don't get me started.) We went out ring shopping to get an idea of what I wanted. It got to the point that I was harping on the ring, the ring, the ring. Now that I know that it's gonna happen and he knows what ring both he and I like, it's not that big of a deal. It'll happen when it happens. It might also have to do with the fact that we have the reception site ect already booked, but still. I don't feel really engaged yet.
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  • I already know what ring I want.  I know exactly and he knows and yet he keeps looking. I think its the 4 C's that he's concerned about. He wants to make sure he's getting the right quality for his money.   Which is understandable.  I'm just done talking about it. He has shown me many rings online which were perfect but it KILLS me cause he says he doesn't have the money to buy it yet. SO QUIT LOOKING I say lol
  • o my goodness this sounds EXACTLY like me and boyfriend, to the T. but I'm pretty sure he's gotten me a ring and I have a feeling it's not my taste in ring. I'm sure i'll love it because of the meaning and because he got it for me. 

    any way, good luck girl I'm pretty sure he's just throwing you off because that's what my boyfriend does to me and if you don't want to be apart of the ring process just tell him straight up thats what I've been doing.

    good luck! :)
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