I wish all future brides all the happiness in the world and all the success that they can have with their future marriage. However, I have a cautionary tale to tell:
My cousin has had a bad track record with men. Combine that with her compulsion for relaying her daily soap operas on FB, everyone knows her business, love life or otherwise. Recently, she was involved in this weird relationship with a man ten years older than her (no disrespect to any women who are in functioning, healthy relationships with older men), who was previously married and had two children, both of whom had different mothers (again, no disrespect). I only tell you all of this, because if you knew my cousin, you would know she was in a completely different place in her life than this man. He was newly divorced, and was angry with his ex-wife. We found out that he was using my cousin, and several (we don't know the exact number, at least two) other women to exact revenge on this woman. Essentially like in the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love, where all he wanted to do was have these awesome sexual relationships and rub it in her face. My cousin found this out much too late.
My cousin has been engaged twice before, and married once. She jumps into love like you would not believe. It hurts me to watch this, because we grew up very close and I don't like seeing her get her heart broken time and time again. She got very attached to this man, and worse, she developed a very close relationship with his children. She was ready to settle down with him and help him raise his children, and have children with him of their own. There was no proposal, and no ring, but they referred to each other as husband and wife, and she called his children her own children. I know all of this because, like I said, her life is laid on FB.
She eventually posted on facebook that they were getting married. Again, no proposal, no ring, but she figured it was good as done because they were talking about it like it was really going to happen. She had started making plans to go the Dominican Republic with this guy and his children for a very small, intimate beach wedding. Nothing big, because she had already had a big family affair with her last husband. So, she starts getting really excited, and even posts a wedding countdown on her FB profile. She posts occasional statuses about their life and how wonderful it will be, and then, suddenly, two weeks later, it all comes out. The other women, the vengeful intentions, all of it. And she has this mess to clean up on FB.
The moral of the story is not "be suspicious of your FIs", nor is it "don't get married to a divorced guy". Of course not. This is more fundamental. Don't post your whole relationship and engagement on FB. Because if it doesn't work out, which I certainly hope doesn't happen to any one, you are left with an embarrassing mess of pictures, statuses, and relationship status changes to clean up. Am I saying you should keep your relationship status completely off FB? Nope. However, I am saying this: A few pics or an occasional status, or the exciting switch of your relationship status to "Engaged to Mr. Right" is fine. But consider those statuses and pics. If it gets to a point where you know it will be embarrassing to erase it all later, maybe think twice about posting everything about your FI's favourite meal or his hair colour. I apologize if this offends anyone. However, I hope that my cousin learns from this, and if not, at the very least some of you might.
Happy Holidays, and may your engagements, wedding journeys, and marriages be happy and successful.