Goal: Low Stress Wedding Planning

Mr&MrsPitts

I'm newly engaged to my wonderful best friend and high school sweetheart.  We are a good age to marry (late twenties) - and very in love.  Neither of us handles stress very well, though.  We seem to be doing well so far - but we are beginning to plan a large traditional wedding for December 8th of this year.  That's about a 6 month engagement.  A whole lot of planning will have to happen between now and then - and I'm a bit anxious about how stressful it's going to be.  (Yes, I'm getting stressed about the stress.)  Any ideas for keeping the stress levels low and the planning smooth and easy?  

Emma

Annas2013

The best advice I can give you is to get as much done as soon as possible, and don't wait until the last minute.  Also set your budget first, then compile a guest list, and find a venue that holds everyone.  Just don't get frustrated about small things.  At the end of the day, the thing that really matters is that you and your FI become husband and wife.  Congratulations on your engagement and good luck with planning!

Knottie1450123632

i totally agree with anna.  set your priorities.  i would also say make a list of what needed what wanted and maybes.  do what is important to you both.  during the planning take a weekend or a day and not do any wedding stuff or tallking wedding. 

desertmomnm

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_goal-low-stress-wedding-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:aa0f9f3f-4ff3-462d-9058-f5f3b599af48Post:a3f31573-e823-4a09-9197-e1b0e6592be4">Goal: Low Stress Wedding Planning</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm newly engaged to my wonderful best friend and high school sweetheart.  We are a good age to marry (late twenties) - and very in love.  Neither of us handles stress very well, though.  We seem to be doing well so far - but we are beginning to plan a large traditional wedding for December 8th of this year.  That's about a 6 month engagement.  A whole lot of planning will have to happen between now and then - and I'm a bit anxious about how stressful it's going to be.  (Yes, I'm getting stressed about the stress.)  Any ideas for keeping the stress levels low and the planning smooth and easy?   Emma
Posted by Mr&MrsPitts[/QUOTE]

My best advice is to do as little DIY projects as possible.  Hire it all done.  Line up your vendors and don't feel the need to micro manage.  It will get done, be pretty, maybe not perfect, but I haven't been to a perfect wedding, and then you'll be married to your best friend.  We planned ours in 4 months from proposal to wedding day to maximize the chance that my FIL would be there (in cancer treatment, but he made it).  We had a lot of stress at the end with both of my parents getting out of the hospital the day before and I was so glad that I didn't have them doing a lot of things for me.  Everyone showed up and it was nice.

Spunky414

Plan on doing a little almost every day and schedule wedding-free time. Set your budget and guest list and prioritize the things you care about most. Hire a coordinator if you can afford it. Find a venue that will do as much as they can for you instead of a blank space where you need to coordinate a separate caterer, furniture rental, linen rental etc. When you find a vendor you are happy with, ask them for recommendations for other services they can cut down on your research time. Relax, delegate to your vendors and it will be ok. 

Nshivers

Do as much as soon as possible as pp stated.  But please be aware, that you will encounter some degree of stress.  We're about 2 weeks away, and the stress level is as high as it's ever been.  Good luck!

GunzNRoses213

We got engaged in Febuary. The biggest thing was finding a venue for the reception. Once that was taken care of the rest is kinda a cake walk ... And most things that people spend a lot of time / money on is NOT important to me .  Figure out what is important and then after that decide how important in relation to the price tag... Some people cut on flowers, decor etc.. The less you think you need the less you need to plan.

Lynda Kaounis

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Beads921

Start planning ASAP, and if your budget allows, try to either find a venue that looks after almost everything OR hire a wedding planner. My venue looks after everything except decor (and it's quite elaborate already, so all we really need is some centrepieces), photography, DJ, cake, and attire (plus invitations of course). We're getting married and having the reception at the same place, so no transportation required either. 

Lisa50

With 6 months to plan, you may want to consider hiring a wedding coordinator, if your budget allows.  If that's not an option, try to find a venue (if you haven't already) which has LOTS of weddings.  The venue manager then becomes your wedding coordinator by default.  The more time you invest in sharing your vision with him/her, the more helpful they can be.

One time saver we found helpful was to make a list of things that just didn't matter: custom table numbers (we used the ones the venue had); card holder (used the venue's); etc.  We knew we didn't want programs, favors, an aisle runner, garter, throwing bouquet, a guest book, etc.  With that list in mind, we didn't spend time on those things.

Oh!  Limit the number in your wedding party.  H and I each had a best man.  That's the best decision we made.  No drama, no stress.

Good luck!

cwaggoner07

I'm closing in on a 7 month engagement, and I had almost everthing booked the first month and a half (and found my dress). I also am a CPA in public practice so I really didn't do anything from February to April. We are keeping things simple, but we're still able to do most of what we wanted. Definitely find out what's important, what's not, and what is worth spending your time on.
Oh, it also helps if you have a really productive and helpful FI. :-)

librababy

Congrats on the engagement.  I think 6 months is a good amount of time to plan a wedding: just decide on what you want and then go about executing it in a timely, afordable manner.  If budget allows, find an all inclusive venue.  This eliminates the need for a planner or DOC and you can get most of your vendors in a one stop shop.  also means minimal work on your part (legwork, labor, ect).

You will need amount of guests you want to attend and a tentative budget you are comfortable working with.  Once you have those, you can look for other vendors.  It will take a little time to find say, the right florist or dj or photographer but you can knock out those vendors in a month....

I know the stress will come... it's a HUGE event and since most people have high expectations of their weddings, you are bound to worry a little about things going just right.  I am pretty laid back as of now but I can tell once the date draws closer, my stress level may go up a notch.  I am trying to keep it cool now by focusing on the bigger picture: my guests having fun and us finally being married!!

meganb1977

ELOPE!!!  :-)

Mr&MrsPitts

Thanks to you all for the advice!!  We have set a budget, chosen venues, number of guests, and wedding party.   I've personalized my 'knot.com' checklist, and Michael bought me a beautiful wedding binder to plan with.  So - all is well, so far.  The most stressful part thus far has been the wedding budget... but I imagine that's typical.  

We're right on schedule with our 'to-do' list right now.  Hopefully it will stay that way!  

Great idea from some of you about setting aside fun days where wedding talk IS NOT ALLOWED.  :-)