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Advice on fiance visas?

My fi propsed 2 weeks ago, and boy have we got an interesting story! I'm American, he is French, we met in Puerto Rico at a conference for our research areas in grad school, and we have never lived on the same continent, much less in the same zip code. I'm still in grad school, and he's now a post-doc in Brazil, so we're waiting until we both finish in mid-2013 to get married.

Today, because I was curious, looked up the requirements to get him a fiance visa for our wedding (which will be in the states). OMG.

Is anyone else going through similar issues? I would really love to know how far in advance we should be filing the paperwork and how long the process takes (both pre and post marriage) and how anyone could possibly deal with this ridiculousness! The US immigration website is none too helpful on these kinds of details.
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