FH HATES that I'm in school!

hjchase1

I'm working on my Masters of Accounting... and will be done in two semesters. FH was Army for 5 years, and doesn't really understand all of the demands that grad school and working presents. He'll complain when I don't come to bed with him, and when I have to stay up all night studying. I bartend part-time, and FH is a night club manager, so we both work nights. BUT I just got offered a day job, which means that we won't be able to spend that much time together because our schedules are different. He is very unhappy about this, but tells me to do it because it will benefit our future. At the same time, he constantly makes comments about how bad it will suck.I wish there was a way to make him understand!!

jenn.daniel

I really feel like no one can understand the torture that is grad school without going through it (or law of med school) themselves. Two more semesters isn't horrible though, especially after you've done all the work to get this far. Try telling him how it will be worth it in the end, b/c you should be able to get a better job etc and spend more time with him after you finish school

jennyp08

Remind your FH that getting your masters isn't a cake walk for you, and you're the one stuck doing all the classwork & trying to balance time with him!  Tell him he only needs to stick it out two more semesters, and his support will make it easier for YOU to get through as well.I'm in law school, and my FI was army, now works.  He's pretty good about the late nights that I have to pull this time of year.  However, he's understanding because I make sure our relationship comes before everything OTHER than school.. so if we haven't had a date night in a few weeks, doing something with him trumps going out with friends.  If I have reading that can done the next morning, I spend the evening with him.. Your FI basically hates so much time apart from you--things could be much worse!!     Remind him that if the new job is too hard for you two to make work, you can always quit.  From one grad student to another--good luck, I totally get what you're going through!!!

janedoe1113a

You definitely need to sit down and have a conversation with your FI.  He should be supporting you and if he can't do that, then that's not good at all.

RachNRich

I'm with navy on this--you need to have a serious conversation with him. Grad school is no walk in the park; it takes work and dedication. 

In the whole scheme of things, grad school will be a small fraction of your life--but it will make you a better, more well-rounded, educated individual. I'd hope he'd want that for you, and your life together.

barrelbabe004

I agree with pp... It sounds like it's probably time to sit down and have a talk with FI about it.  He won't ever truly understand what you're going through unless he goes to grad school, but it might be good for him to hear directly from you about the committment that school is. 
And with only 2 semesters to go, I'm sure you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It will be worth it in the long run. 

noelle24

I'd definitely talk to your FI.  Grad school is definitely hard, and you'll need support too.  It wouldn't hurt to remind him that you are unhappy about the logistics as well, and that you know it will suck.  Tell him that you need him to be more supportive and less negative if you are going to make the schedule work. 

He doesn't have to *understand* what grad school is like, but he does have to understand what you need by way of support. 

wednesday51

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_fh-hates-im-school?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:684Discussion:10491576Post:17099b88-55c9-47eb-8936-dc0b1d3b802e">Re: FH HATES that I'm in school!</a>:
[QUOTE]You definitely need to sit down and have a conversation with your FI.  He should be supporting you and if he can't do that, then that's not good at all.
Posted by navybaby1113[/QUOTE]

I agree. And I'd also ask, if he isn't being supportive now, do you think he is going to be supportive when you get married? That would be a BIG red flag for me.