Broke. In Grad School But still want to get married

bryde2bee2

Ladies,

Have any of you heard of this site indiegogo for fundraising? I know people have had fundraising parties where they ask their guests and friends for money but Ive heard its frowned upon. Im not sure what else to do because My fiancee and I are really struggling fiancially and Im extremely stressed with school as welll.

Maybe you ladies can do me a favor and check out my wedding fundraising site. Thanks

http://www.indiegogo.com/p/161429

AllisonW423

I totally understand being in graduate school and being strapped for funds.

But are you REALLY soliciting strangers for money? Even if you were doing this and asking only family and friends to donate would make me embarrassed for you.

Gross.

DramaGeek

Seriously?  No.  If you can't afford a big wedding, do what you can afford.  If that's the courthouse, then so be it.  Or, you can wait until you have more money.

calliopeia2013

I am seriously appalled by someone soliciting strangers for money to throw a lavish party (since a wedding costs, like, 50 bucks max at the courthouse) when there are people out there who can't pay for food/housing/necessary medical care.  Or, for that matter, people who can't afford higher education. 

OP, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're so stressed by school that you had a moment of temporary insanity.  But please take a step back and re-evaluate, okay?

freebread03

I checked out your page.  I really hope you're not sending that link to friends and family (or listserve strangers) because it is so completely inappropriate and tacky to solicit others to pay for your wedding.  Your page says that you hope you don't HAVE to go into more debt for a wedding--nobody is forcing you to spend money throwing a wedding, so this seems overly dramatic.  Have a courthouse wedding, and take your nearest and dearest to dinner to celebrate that night.  There is nothing wrong with doing it that way, and it will be just as special because you get to marry the man of your dreams.

BTW, you may want to check out the difference between "generous soles" and "generous souls", particularly since you're, well, a great student and all.

bethsmiles

All it costs to get married is the price of a marriage license in your state. If you really want to get married ASAP then go down to the courthouse and it get it done. There is nothing wrong with getting married at the courthouse and it can be just as beautiful as a big wedding.

However, if you really want the big party then wait until you can save up for it and pay for it yourselves - do not ask ANYONE (family, friends, or strangers) for money to pay for your wedding.

joe&cassie

I'm not going to add because PP pretty much nailed it.  Have the wedding you can afford.  It's rude to ask people for money.  I always have to laugh when people go online to wedding website to ask other people who are spending money on their wedding and probably struggling with money too.  You are asking a bunch of students... Really?

adrienneb2013

You spelled "souls" wrong. 

daffydillie

I was just curious how you got so much debt but think getting married until you help pay that down is a good idea? I mean I have been in school longer than I admit and I do not have nearly that much debt. That sounds like poor financial planning to me. Go to the courthouse if you are that desperate to be married and throw a huge party when you get all your debt paid off.

joe&cassie

I too am curious how you ended up 350K in debt.  I mean that is 350,000  that's enough to buy a really nice house where we live.  Even if I had payed for my entire college and continued to grad school I proably wouldn't be able to even come close to 100K and that would be including living on campus.  Yikes! 

If you guys are that far in debt than you have far bigger issues than coming up with money to pay for a wedding.

Annas2013

Um no.  Unless you went to med school, you should not be 350k in debt right now.  No offense, but that's just not normal.  Y'all need to work on that before you consider getting married.  Also, if you want to get married so badly, then just go to the courthouse or have a small intimate wedding that YOU CAN AFFORD.  I'm sorry if this comes off harsh, but it's the truth.  

You do not ask for money to pay for your wedding.  You have the wedding you can afford.  And remember, your parents are under no obligation to contribute any money to your wedding.  You're both adults, pay for it yourselves.  

Also please learn to spell correctly before you try to solicit money from strangers and family. 

ksblumb

My FI and I were invited to a wedding this summer who had one of these fundraising websites. As soon as we saw it, we knew we would not attend. There is no way I am going to spend money on a gift for a couple who wants a wedding out of their means. To me, it shows that you are more focused on the wedding than the marriage.

Beads921

Sadly, this is not the first time I've seen this type of website. I still can't believe it though - in what world is this OK? I have my own debts and dreams, but you don't see me asking strangers to help me out with them.  

Psych819

I understand being broke in grad school. I am in the same boat. We're waiting till 2015 to get married, this gives us enough time to save for the wedding. I suggest you wait till you have the funds to have a wedding. Asking people for money so you can wed is just bad etiquette. 

Summer2011Bride

All it costs to get married is the price of a marriage license where you live. You and your FI can go get married tomorrow for probably under $100. It may not be what you want, but you'll need to decide if your "dream wedding" is more important or if it's more important to get married soon. Sounds like you can't have both, and what you want to do is beyond rude and tacky.