Wishing Dance - please give me your advice

emilypeach

I have been wrestling with the 'Dollar Dance' issue for a while now.  FI insists on it, its a huge thing at all their families weddings.  And to be completely honest I've never thought of the Dollar Dance as tacky and I don't think my family does either. But...

Since being on theknot I've heard a lot of awful things said about it and I would never want to make my guests feel uncomforble.  Still, I'd really love that one-on-one time you'd get with your guests as they come up to dance with the bride and groom, and I think it would be memorable, fun, and cherished by FI and I, as well as our guests.

(sorry this is a long post)

I heard an interesting idea on another board...  They called it the Wish Dance...  Guests write a message, a wish, or line of advice and come up and drop it in a purse or jar, then get their chance to dance with the Bride and Groom.  If they insist on giving money, they would be able to put it with their wish but we wouldnt be asking for it.  I think this is a lovely compromise and I think it would definitly work for us. 

Now here's my question:  How should I go about this? leave scraps of paper on all the tables? have a certain station that guests could go to...I'd be affraid a lot of people would miss it and not know what was going on.. maybe add a little sign to the guestbook table (I'm affraid it would get cluttered because i also have my seating chart with the guestbook)....

please help!  thank you

Aedes*

hmmm, I think that leaving it at tables would be better. But then you would have to leave pens too. Could you have a table and have the dj announce the concept a few songs before it happens? I agree that a dollar dance it tacky. I never thought they were tacky before the knot either but I always felt stressed when I went to a wedding and had very little cash.

june112011bride

Thats a really great idea! I HATE the dollar dance too! It's tacky and time consuming (especially with 300 guests).  My cousin did it at her wedding, she had 200 guests and it felt like it took forever!  It honestly took almost an hour!  I really love the wishing dance idea, because you get that one-on-one time with your guests without the expectation of cash.  You could print up little slips of paper with a poem on it and place it at each seat.  This way your guests can have a while to think about what to put and aren't rushed. 

I found this poem online, but its for a dollar dance but you might be able to ammend it for a wish dance.  You could make it shorter and just put something like here is a away to wish us the best etc etc maybe even put something like to those who have been married for decades or even a few months can give you words of wisdom and luck (hey, did that rhyme???) LOL! Anyways you get the idea, basically a short poem explaining what they are suppose to do with the paper and that there will be a dance later to give it to the bride and groom here is the poem I found online for the dollar dance

Please find within this page
information just for you
With some rules and regulations
That we both insist you do
The first is 'you must come'
To our special day
The second one is vital
If you're to be our guest
And that is eat and drink a lot
Or do your very best
The third one is an order
So don't bring two left feet
As when the evening comes around
You MUST dance to the beat

The fourth rule can be broken
We really do not mind
But if you choose to follow it
Thank you for being so kind
We've been together for a few years
And have a lovely home
There are not too many items now
We don't already own
So please don't be offended
And please don't think we're brash
But if your thoughts were on a present
We would much prefer the cash
But the choice is really up to you
And we would like to say
That we hope you come, enjoy yourselves
And have a lovely day

Good luck! and let us know how it goes!

breleficent

Every wedding I've been to (with the exception of one) had the dollar dance. I had no idea that most people thought it was tacky. I just mentioned the Wish Dance idea to FI and he said that was really cool. He suggested that the guests write their wishes on flat river rocks that can be displayed in a vase in your house. I thought it was kind of cute My FI is really sentimental. lol.

I say have a separate table with the paper and pens. You can make a sign that says something like, "Write a wish for the B and G for the Wish Dance." And like Aedes said, have the DJ announce it.

With all that said, if the dollar dance is common amongst your family/friends just do it. There won't be any Knotties at your wedding to judge you

desi2002

I agree with the seprate table with the pens and paper. This is a cool spin on the dollar dance.

amyweethee

I think that is a great idea Dollar dances are boring and tacky. I think its tacky to ask guests to help you pay for their meal

lauralazer

breleficent, that is such a cute idea, with the river rocks!  I love it!

Honestly, I have never been to a wedding where they did a dollar dance or a wish dance.  But the wish dance idea seems wonderful!

Ken&Cass

The thing about the dollar dance is that a lot of people rarely carry cash on them these days, so the amount of dancing you will need to do will be pretty minimal. If you do a wish dance, you may be out there all night... and at some point it will become excessive and everyone will lose interest pretty quick I think. It's a nice idea... but I don't think it will work very well.

jamisams

The Wishing Dance is a cute idea and a great option for those who would want the one-on-one time.

As far as the 'Dollar Dance', My FI is set on doing it and it's taken some time for me to come around. In the end for me, it's not worth an arguement. Bottom line, if your guests don't want to participate in a DD, they won't. I've never felt obligated to in weddings I've attended, and there are times I have and have not participated.