My dad's getting remarried - Do I offer to host a bridal shower?

Valerie&Ryan

Any feedback would be great!

My fiance and I are getting married in June. But my dad and his good friend recently got engaged and are planning an April wedding (because of family situations, they want to get their's out of the way). I have a close relationship with my father and have become fast friends with his fiance. They want a small, intimate wedding and are keeping most of the change pretty quiet.

My question is: shall I offer to plan a bridal shower for her? Is it common for quiet second marriages to do all the formalities of the first? She has daughters but I'm not sure if they're interested in hosting something like that. My sisters are busy planning my bridal showers and such. I don't want to take one more planning and financial burden on, but I also want to make sure she's properly pampered and cared for.

Any suggestions for how (and who) to approach for this one?

Thank you!

2dBride

You can only invite guests to a shower if they are invited to the wedding.  If the wedding is really intimate, that could really limit the shower guest list.

Even if you can't do a formal shower, you and your sisters could do something like take her out to lunch or dinner to celebrate.  That would indicate your enthusiasm, without requiring all the planning of a formal shower.

mrsbobfilson

i agree,you can only invite who ever is coming to the wedding,therefore to keep it a surprise,get a list from your father,ask her daughters to pitch in and help with food so that you do not carry the full financial burden.make it easy foods: finger sandwiches, potato salad,macaroni salad, vegetable platter, a cake ,

Kristin789

Uh, no.  The bridal shower is hosted by a girlfriend of the bride who has been with her through thick and thin, someone who is her right hand woman, who has been her counsel during her courtship with her FI.  And those invited to the shower are her very closest friends, who have been with her a long time, who have been with her through every step of her courtship with her FI. 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_my-dads-getting-remarried-do-i-offer-to-host-a-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:6f375f9e-d88e-4c9d-9158-7372d1c3bc7aPost:e6c99d4a-a990-49db-a3a2-4e81df7eed58">Re: My dad's getting remarried - Do I offer to host a bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Uh, no.  The bridal shower is hosted by a girlfriend of the bride who has been with her through thick and thin, someone who is her right hand woman, who has been her counsel during her courtship with her FI.  And those invited to the shower are her very closest friends, who have been with her a long time, who have been with her through every step of her courtship with her FI. 
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

This is a load of crap. Host the shower if you want to.

Valerie&Ryan

Thank you for all the opinions.

The "best friend" situation doesn't really apply since (as far as I know) none of her close friends would initiate something like this. After hearing some feedback and even casually mentioning it to my dad, I've decided to get her daughters, my sisters, and her together and go out to or host a celebratory brunch.

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_my-dads-getting-remarried-do-i-offer-to-host-a-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:6f375f9e-d88e-4c9d-9158-7372d1c3bc7aPost:0c4fe141-f249-47b3-908d-7020ce6cca07">Re: My dad's getting remarried - Do I offer to host a bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]i agree,you can only invite who ever is coming to the wedding,therefore to keep it a surprise,get a list from your father,ask her daughters to pitch in and help with food so that you do not carry the full financial burden.make it easy foods: finger sandwiches, potato salad,macaroni salad, vegetable platter, a cake ,
Posted by mrsbobfilson[/QUOTE]

Where did she mention surprise, money, menu?

You can have a shower or just a luncheon to pamper her. You sound like a very thoughtful and caring stepdaughter.