ADVICE NEEDED

Rjanay

My Fi and I are planning a wedding in the fall of next year with a strict budget of 5,000 with no help but everyone wants to put their thoughts and ideas into it. Its becoming stressful because I have somewhat of a large family and IF I invite everyone it would be a total of 160 guest if i dont then it will be 70 guest which is all I can really afford. My grandmother is not happy about that and says FAMILY shouldnt have to be counted out but she is not paying the expenses and half of my family I dont know or talk to. I hate to see my grandmother upset so i have no clue of what to do.

jagore08

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  I went through a similar situation with my family and it was a tough decision but in the end I went what was best for me and DH.  You're never going to make everyone happy but you should make you and your FI happy first.  I highly doubt spending more than you two can afford when you're just starting out your lives will make you guys happy.

If you decide to go with the smaller guest list then tell your grandmother that you would love to have everyone there but it's just not possible.  You'll see them at the next family reunion.  Good luck.

Oh, and I found that it was best to not give many details to people.  It stopped all the unnecessary advice and was less stess on me.  If anyone asked me about plans I would say either that I wanted some elements to be a surprise or it's taken care of and change the subject.

Rjanay

THANK YOU. I WILL DO JUST THAT BECAUSE I FEEL I SHOULD BE EXCITED WHEN TALKING ABOUT MY WEDDING BUT LATELY ITS BEEN SOMETHING I AVOID SPEAKING ABOUT

amh04

I completely agree with Jagore.

What we did - to make the 'Where is my invite' question easier to answer. Is we limited it to Aunts and Uncles. No cousins unless they still lived at home. If you limit it to this, it's easier to explain it to your 2nd cousin. Just explain your budget doesn't allow for that and you can't wait to see her at the family reunion. We are also setting up a live feed of our ceremony since we have some OOT guests who won't be able to make it. This is a great alternative too. You can share it with the friends and family who can't make it, or you couldn't invite.

Just don't lose track of what you and your FI want. It is your alls day, not theirs. If you are finding that by talking about it with Grandma then just say next time it's brought up, "grandma, I'm pretty weddinged-out could we talk about something else? how is so and so doing, or whats new with you?"

Good Luck and I hope things get less stressful soon, I know how stressful the first month or two of planning can be. Just try to remember, it's just a Party that you're wearing a white dress to! That helped me out big time.

Rjanay

thank you

cranner06

I completely agree.  Congrats by the way!! I myself recently engaged and am in the same exact boat.  We really haven't stated discussing details, date and so on..just yet but we will have to have a very very small guest count and I'm thining we'll have a 5K budget as well...SO WE SHOULD HEL EACH OTHER!!!

I have friends in the wedding business and it's best to just leave details out beacuse then you'll get everyones opinion.  It's like people with baby names.  Once a couple starts dicussing names-everyone gives their opinion.  If your family love you and wants nothing but the best from you (which I'm sure they do), then they will all understand...trust me. 

You can easily get a videographer and maybe send them out to those closer relatives that didn't make a guest list.  OR, once all the "stuff" and that special day is over with...you can have a small get together and view it all together at your place. 

Where are you getting married at?

chickenbut143

In Response to Re: ADVICE NEEDED:
[QUOTEOR, once all the "stuff" and that special day is over with...you can have a small get together and view it all together at your place.  Posted by cranner06[/QUOTE]

This....as long as you don't call it a reception and expect gifts.    Good Luck!

Rjanay

Thank you again
cranner06  we were looking at brooklyn royal or friday musicale