Dress shopping for overweight.

scstar17

I'm not going to lie, I'm totally overweight (I wear a 16 in jeans, XL tops typically) and even though I've been in a martial arts kickboxing class now for over two months I'm not going to lie and pretend I'm going to be a size 6 again come wedding time.

I am very excited to get married and have this wonderful party and to marry my best friend.  But when I think about shopping for the dress I want to cry.  I am not a typical girly-girl and I don't want a fancy, frilly dress; the sight of David's Bridal and House of Brides on Schaumburg gives me near panic attacks.  My tastes run quite simple but when most sample dresses at the stores are size 8, how am I going to find my dress wtihout feeling miserable?  I mean how will I even be able to try anything on if they are so much smaller than me?

I know being overweight is of course my own fault, I'm not saying otherwise, but can anyone give me any insight on being over average sized and finding your gown without bawling?  I want it to be fun but it makes me so sad to think about.

MrsPaps

I understand how you feel! I am also a 16, size XL and weigh more than I would like to but don't dread dress shopping. There are many stores that will have dresses you can fit into and while you won't be able to try everything on, you will find something!!
My dress is a Mori Lee and I tried on a sample size 12 and got it up just fine (it would not zip) so really as long as you can get into it, you will get an idea of how it will look.

I loved loved loved my dress and while I bought it in Indiana, Here Comes The Bride in Addison was one of the stores I really enjoyed shopping at.
You don't have to settle for a dress just because it fits, almost every designer goes up to size 20 or beyond. And remember, bridal fits differently than regular clothes so do not let the size of the dress discourage you, pick something that flatters you or hides something you do not like. Pick something you feel gorgeous in!
I felt absolutely beautiful in my dress and not once did it ever cross my mind if I looked fat because I was comfortable in my own skin.
Your FI loves you for you, regardless of your size so whatever you pick, I'm sure he will love!!!

We are all here for you, let us know how we can help!

scstar17

I just reread what I wrote and what a pity party I'm having! 

Thank you so much for your reply.  I am definitely going to check out that store in Addison.  I might just skip over the House of Brides/David's Bridal places for fear of hives.  I'm just getting so frustrated with finding pics of dresses I like and knowing I'm giong to be in some flourescently-lit room in my underwear, getting squeezed into dresses that don't fit with strangers around.  Blah.

amyb140

I am the same size as you are, and I found my dress at House of Brides in Chicago.  The sample wouldn't zip up, but I could tell that I loved it and that it was flattering even though the sample wasn't the correct size.  My dress is Alfred Angelo (Sapphire I think?  Maybe that's their plus line?)

My advice is not to get too wrapped up in the magazine photos - they're never going to look as good on ANY bride as they do on the models!  My consultant at HOB actually picked out my dress - I would never have chosen it off the rack.  

llmerm8

I am a size 20 and finding a dress was the one thing I did not want to do...I avoided it for months because I had the same exact fears as you. I found a perfect dress-and an amazing consultant at David's Bridal in Chicago. I was living close to the David's in Schaumburg and went to the one in the city because of the recommendation and I am so glad I did. I was able to try on many dresses and had no problem zipping them up without a struggle. Trish was so amazing and made me feel as beautiful as any bride, she was even in tears when we found the perfect dress. It ended up being a great experience for me and I hope it is for you as well! Good luck!

scstar17

You guys all give me hope!  Thank you so much.  I'm still unsure on the giant bridal stores like David's/HOB but I guess they are the best place to start.  I like some from Allure but they are all ones described as "slim fitting" so ha ha, no way for me.  I am also considering a custom design based off ones I like...where they can make the hips a bit fuller instead of fitted.  I'm just nervous about these over ready-made designers.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with these problems - I have few married friends and they were all either skinny or Vegas weddings without gowns.  No one to talk to about my problems!

Scarlet Starlet 31

I am a size 24.  I had a little bit of anxiety about dress shopping too, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life.  Picking out your dress is supposed to be a fun, wonderful experience-don't let any body images get in the way of that!!

From my own personal experience, I have found David's Bridal to be hit or miss when it comes to shopping as a plus size gal.  Some stores kind of give you the evil eye and pawn you off on the people you came with, and some will treat you like any other bride that walks in.   I have never felt as though I was being fully attended to at DB-most consultants are trying to help 2-3 girls at a time and seem to be more interested in a sale than in helping you pick out your dream gown.

A smaller mom and pop shop might be what you are looking for.  Follow the ideas other posters suggested, like Here comes the Bride in Addison, and I would be remiss if I didn't recommend Veils & Tails in Clinton, WI.  Their prices are great, they have a good selection and they are focused on you, not on making a sale.  I know it might be a bit of a haul for you depending on where you live (I'm practically on the WI state line border, I still can't understand why this website put me in the Chicago category), but if you're dreading a big chain store, a smaller shop like that is right up your alley.

When you do go try on dresses, don't look at yourself as a size 16 squeezing into a dress-look inside you and see the bright, radiant woman you are who is ready to rock a super awesome dress!!  Check your body inhibitions at the door when you go!!!!

MrsPaps

The new Vera line at Davids is so gorgeous and goes into Plus sizes. You may want to start off there just to get a feel for the different shapes since they carry every size available in the store. You may be able to find a shape you like then can narrow down your hunt at other stores.

samnathaw

I am a size 18.  I was dreading dress shopping as well.  A friend finally made appointments for me because I had been procrastinating so long!  After being squished into dresses at HOB, we went to David's Briday.  I agree with Scarlet about not feeling fully attended to, but the ability to try on dresses in my size completely made up for the fact that the consultant was shuffled between 2-3 girls.  I also am not one that wants to be ohhhed and ahhhed over so I actually liked that she helped me and then went to help another girl!  Good luck!

roxiems75

I know how you feel.  I am a size 28 and I was soooo scaried to go try on dresses.  I did some reasarch as to who had a large selection of dresses in the plus sizes.  I went to HOB in Schaumburg.  Let me tell you what they have to offer is great.  No trying on dress way to small of not knowing what the dress will really look like.  I worked with Helen and she was so wonderful.  She had a lot of knowlege.  I bought a Mori Lee dress that I just love.  I tried it on twice just to make sure what I was seeing.  Go for it. This will be a good exprience you will be surprised. 

scstar17

Thank you, everybody.  I've gone to two shops so far - Kathryn's Bridal in McHenry (found a pretty but too expensive Maggie Sottero) and A L'Amour in Barrington - didn't find anything I liked.  I'm trying Volle's in Lake Zurich in a couple weeks but I'm still trying to avoid those Schaumburg stores like the plague. 

What I really want is the Watters Harmony, but it's hard to find a specific dress in a size I can fit into! 

scstar17

I actually found several beautiful gowns in the Maggie Sottero line that looks phenomenal on my shape and chose one as my dress.  I got it at Volle's in Lake Zurich and I recommend them to anybody my size!  They had a lot to try on and I was comfortable with their consultants - the owner even stopped in the room to see how everything was going.