Hawaii

NYC Bride Considering Maui Destination Wedding

Hi Everyone!
I am from NYC and my fiance and I got engaged in Maui, HI.  We have been to Maui 3x for vacation, so it is a special place to us. We are getting married in the Spring of 2011, either in March, April or May.  We will have the ceremony in a church and a reception to follow.

We are really having a hard time deciding whether we should have the wedding in NYC or Maui. Maui is a very special place to us and we want to share it with our close friends and family, but as I start to think about planning, I feel that I will end up being the tour guide for the group and this overwhelms me. I am also not so comfortable not seeing anything until a few days before the wedding since I don't plan to make a trip there before the wedding.  However, we can probably keep the costs lower than NYC since our guest list will naturally be smaller. 

With NYC, I am more comfortable with the planning because I live and work here and can meet with vendors. Also, having it in NYC means more friends and extended family can attend because they are local to the area.  However, our costs will be double what they are in NYC and a part of us always envisioned getting married in Maui.

I don't know if many brides struggle with the same decision I am trying to make now but I don't know how to decide and I feel that after I decide on WHERE to having the wedding, I can get started on planning it. 

Any thoughts would be helpful, especially if there are any NYC or East Coast brides also getting married in Maui or Hawaii.

Thanks in advance!

Re: NYC Bride Considering Maui Destination Wedding

  • edited December 2011
    NY bride here, planning for a March wedding in Maui.  It's doable.  Stressful, but doable.  The hardest part for me is the difference in culture... us NYC gals are fast paced, quick turnaround, emailing 24/7 from the iPhone.  Most of the vendors in Hawaii take a week to respond.  :-)  It has been a lesson in patience.

    Anyway, it's doable if you want it, and you will get tons of support & great suggestions from brides on this forum.  Also, if you spend a bit of money on a coordinator (which many venues require), they help to ease most of the burden off your shoulders.  I'd be happy to recommend the one we are working with if you do indeed go for Hawaii.  Also, my gut says pulling off a wedding in 6 months is much easier done in Hawaii than Manhattan..

    Food for thought.  Congratulations, and good luck with the decision!
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  • edited December 2011
    I think people in hawaii are much more phone friendly than email friendly... As a plus though, the time difference means  you can get home after work and still have a few hours to call hawaii businesses during their business day if you have any questions. :)
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    Ben & Jenn Nov 27, 2010 Oahu
    Planning Bio
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_nyc-bride-considering-maui-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:73Discussion:54255303-231e-4c5d-84b7-84e3e24605c5Post:371bc66a-5b43-4804-8659-c960fae5dc10">Re: NYC Bride Considering Maui Destination Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think people in hawaii are much more phone friendly than email friendly... As a plus though, the time difference means  you can get home after work and still have a few hours to call hawaii businesses during their business day if you have any questions. :)
    Posted by leejj3[/QUOTE]
    Quoted for truth.  We've had a few near emergencies due to miscommunication by email.  Phone. Phone. Phone.
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  • edited December 2011
    Welcome! I didn't scout at all, made my choices based on the help of the girls on the forum here and gut instinct (scary, I know), and everything worked out perfectly for us! It's totally doable!

    Don't worry about being a tour guide, give your guests some pointers, arrange for a couple extra times to meet up (we, like many people here, did a Welcome BBQ and then a day o'fun [kayaking/snorkeling tour & a luau], and they'll be good to go. They're adults, right! We also did a website that had advice and ideas of what to do based on our previous trips and people told us it was really helpful.

    Bottom line, do it!! You won't regret it!
  • edited December 2011
    i understand where you're coming from regarding the NYC thing and being able to meet with vendors. however, i think that HI is SUCH an amazing place to hold a reception. granted, i grew up there - but it's so beautiful. would you be able to have an AHR for others who can't make it to HI?

    it's really not THAT bad planning a wedding from NYC. our wedding had 200 people back in HI, and i haven't lived in that state for 8+ years... so you can do it!
  • AKWinterBrideAKWinterBride member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Tough one, you would have such a plethora of choices in New York!  But, I have a soft spot since I am a Maui bride myself!  I am getting married in July, and can not wait.  I thought about having a wedding here for about a minute and then we decided on Maui - it was really no choice for us! 
    I just love Hawaii, it's my favorite place in the world, and I wanted to be warm for my wedding.  Here in Alaska there just is not guarantee of the weather being nice, but in New York you would have beautiful summers too.  Hmmm....  It really just depends on what you guys want.  I am having 60 people at mine, and I am dreading being a tour guide as well, I am already hearing comments from guests about 'activities'.  I want them to enjoy their vacation In Maui as well as our wedding, and hope that they realize that we are not their vacation! 
    I think either way you can't lose!  Good luck with your choice!
    Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Go for Maui! I was in the same situation as you deciding between Maui and having it here in NYC, and going for Maui was the best decision we made! Despite the fact that you say you won't be able to see the actual venue, you've been there 3 times so you are probably pretty familiar with the island in general and at least will know what side of the island you'd like to have your ceremony and reception. Using this board is very helpful too. I had an amazing wedding planner who always responded via email within a couple of hours, so planning was pretty simple. Also, don't worry about being a tourguide...90% of my guests had never been to Maui. All I did was to provide them with a list of restaurants and things to do, and everyone took it upon themselves to explore the island. Besides the few group activities I had planned, I was busy doing wedding stuff during the week, and you will find that you won't have to worry much about your guests if you give them a little direction. Perhaps you can put together a wedding website that they can check while they put together their plans so they have an idea of what they can do. Also, another thought is that a Maui wedding will be way cheaper than an NYC wedding...Good luck with your choice!!
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  • edited December 2011
    First, thank you for all who replied. After reading your replies I have faith that if I decide to pursue a wedding in Maui, I will get a lot of support here!  As I read your posts, I want to get married in Maui because it makes me smile when I think of the beach there and overall culture, but then I get overwhelmed with the thought of planning it and I revert back to NYC.

    Perhaps you gals are right - maybe I don't need to be the tour guide for my guests. I could plan a Welcome Happy Hour & Pupus before the wedding day (does this usually take place the night before the wedding?) and then after the wedding, I could plan 1 or 2 activities for my guests and that's it.  My immediate family will be attending (total 8 people) and my fiance and I want to spend time with them and take them around Maui after the wedding without feeling bad for not hanging out with our guests.

    I have read about some creative ways to cut costs when having a wedding in NYC, like getting married in the off-season, during the day and doing some things yourself.  I need to better understand what the costs will be in NYC vs Maui because I think that if there was not a significant savings (like over $30k) for having the wedding in Maui, I'm not sure that I would want to deal with the inconvenience of planning remotely.  Is there a good way to understand what the costs of a Maui wedding would be before actually committing to it? I would love to spend under $30k for a wedding in Maui for 30 people, but as I start to budget things out, I feel like my costs may exceed $30k.  Are there nice venues in Maui where the cost per person will be under $100 before gratuity and tax but including the site-use fees?

    Also, how much does a good wedding coordinator cost?  For those of you who used a WC, what did they help you with?  Did they suggest venues for your budget and then work everything out with the venue so that you didn't need to make a call to the venue yourself?  I feel that I would need a same-day response from my WC to avoid freaking out.

    How much are flowers in Maui?  In NYC, the flower costs can get pretty ridiculous. I am not a big flower person as I have always preferred chocolates or other gifts from my fiance over flowers, so it pains me to think about spending $15k on flowers in NYC.  Can I spend $2k or under in Maui? The backdrop setting of Maui is so beautiful I feel that I just need the bouquets for the church and then some small ones as centerpieces. 

    How about the logistics of getting everything there?  It is hard enough for me to pack a suitcase for a Maui vacation and it overwhelms me to think about all the nice outfits and accessories I have to pack for a wedding week!  Also, how are you gals getting your dress there?  I don't necessarily want to get a simpler dress for the sake of easy transport.  Then how much does it cost to steam press the dress if it gets wrinkled in transport? 

    What about makeup and hair?  I am lucky that NYC has some great celebrity hairstylists and makeup artists.  I do not want to do my hair or makeup myself because I would not do a good job.  Are you gals doing a test-run for the makeup and hair and how did you find your stylist?

    I am so sorry if I sound long-winded but I really appreciate real responses from real brides.  I expect we will come to a decision as to NYC or HI in the next 2 weeks because we simply need to start planning, so this information is really helpful.  Again, thank you in advance!
  • edited December 2011
    Holy cats that's a lot of questions.  :-)  I totally understand the panic and the need to feel like every detail is at your finger tips before you start anything.  But regardless of whether you choose HI or NYC, just realize you will never have all of the information before you get started.  A lot of this process is about having faith, trusting, and letting go: it WILL work out.  It will be much, much more enjoyable for you if you can start there.

    Let me tackle a few of the questions...
    • Don't worry about playing tour guide.  Spend the time with your family.  If you organize an activity or two, great.  If not, people get it.   We're doing a 1 hour open bar the night before the wedding.  We're also doing brunch the morning after the wedding.  We are also getting a group rate on a block of hotel rooms to lower costs for our guests.  Nothing else. 
    • How big do you expect your wedding to be?  $30k is not a problem for a wedding in Maui -- in fact, it can be quite a nice one -- but it depends *what* you want.   If you need every last bell & whistle, it'll add up no matter what.
    • WC, flowers, hair/makeup - you will have options.  Lots of people have had great experiences with a number of vendors, so just trust that you will find what you need once you decide on HI.  Again, the girls here will help with their experiences & recommendations.  I will just comment that $15k on flowers alone will give you just about every option under the moon, and then some.  You can have a *very* nice wedding for even 10% of that.
    • Logistics of travel.  Well, we're buying plane tickets, getting on the plane, and landing.  Tongue out  In all seriousness, it's just a flight.  Carry on the dress and you can get it pressed when you land -- most of the hotels & plenty of local stores can help with that.  Check some extra bags with stuff you need.  Book a condo or hotel.  It's really not that unlike any other vacation you would take.
    A few useful sites for you:

    Maui wedding planning site:
    http://mauiweddingplanning.weebly.com/

    Hawaiian vendors:
    http://www.theknot.com/profiles/HawaiiVendors/myknot/myOldBio/Index

    I guess my last comment would be -- don't pick Hawaii because it's the "$30k cheaper option".  Pick it because you love it, and can see yourselves there.  And if you know yourself -- if you have to have all the answers today, now, in person -- then maybe just settle on HI for the honeymoon and do yourself the favor of planning in NYC.  You can't go wrong either way -- you just have to be honest with what will work for you. 
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  • AKWinterBrideAKWinterBride member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Tanq - Don't choose Hawaii cause it will be cheaper, cause you may find it won't be.  I am having 50 people at our wedding, and we are spending around 20K.  At first, I thought I would save all this money becuase in this economy  people were probably giving deals (they weren't), and that surely a lot of people wouldn't come for the same reason (they are).  We are firm with 50 guests, but it is going up towards 60 quickly. 
    If you want to get married in Hawaii, do it because you love it and it is special for you and your FI.  We adore Maui, and have been there several times together.  The last time we were there we got some  photos taken and joking around with our photographer commented that if we got engaged and married in Maui that she would definitely be our photographer.  Well - a year later we are planning our wedding in Maui and the first person I booked was our photographer!  It is a very special place for us, and that is why we chose to get married here.
    Plus, if we had it here in Alaska, it would have been nearing 300 people for invites and since we really aren't any less expensive here - Maui was a good choice for our budget as well.
    If you  have any questions at all about prices, vendors, etc - PM me, I have all the paperwork from them that I would share with you.  Good luck!
    Photobucket Photobucket Anniversary
  • fabutanfabutan member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with what everyone has said so far...there's some very good advice on here!  I'd also suggest that you might find more answers for specific types of questions by using the "search tool" for the messageboard, where there are whole threads devoted to each of these topics!  

    You might also refer to knottie jackcody's incredibly helpful Maui Wedding Planning website:
    She has vendor recommendations and some price quotes on there.

    I also had similar issues as you (i.e. to DW or not to DW).  I found this website to be super useful:
    It's not entirely accurate, but you can punch in the NYC zip code and the Maui zip code and get a "ballpark" cost comparison of typical wedding items/services.

    I think it's a safe call that a NYC wedding would be more expensive, because services are more expensive overall and more guests would attend.  However, as ppl have already said, it all depends on what kind of celebration you want...  Do you want lots of your friends and family there and to have a lux affair?  Or are you ok with letting go of some of the details and having a small/intimate affair?

    Another thing to consider about budget/savings is will you also have a honeymoon after a NYC wedding?  Your wedding in Maui could double-up as a honeymoon...that indirectly translates into more savings there.

    Just some food for thought...

  • edited December 2011
    This was such a dilemma for me.  Born and raised in NYC, I can certainly say it was a very tough decision to make.  I am having a lot few guests than I would've if I had had it in NYC.  So, that has allowed us to do things that I am not sure we would've been able to afford in NY.  But I would never give up that intimacy of having fewer guests and the setting that Hawaii will offer me. 

    As far as being a coordinator - we have not been that at all for our guests.  Instead, we created a website of things to do and they've done all their research.  98% of our guests are coming from NY.  - they're making a vacation out of this.

    I'd say beware, however, that some guests may not be able to go.  I have a friend that lost her job and has been looking for almost a year.  So she won't be able to join us and she is very close to me but due to money won't be able to be there.

    About planning - I haven't had a problem at all planning my wedding in Hawaii.  Instead, with the time difference I've been able to talk to vendors at home rather than at work.
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