Eight Foot Tall Bridesmaid!

Santorini2011

Ok so maybe I overdramatized the height...

But here's the deal-
I am 5'3 (5'5 with heels).  My best friend is 5'11 and larger boned.  I want her to be the MOH but she towers over me.  It sounds stupid but she will throw off the pics and is much larger/taller than the groomsmen.  She isn't into weddings but promises to be the best MOH for me.  My cousin is not nearly as close to me but has offered to be the MOH.  She was married last year and knows what I would need from her.  I had imagined her being my MOH since we were young but we lost contact for 20 years and are just getting familar again.

Would you ask the tall best friend to be your MOH instead of the long lost cousin?

And yes, I am being superficial...I know this already

miguelhilary2010

I think with 18 months to go, you should wait to ask someone to be MOH, especially since you aren't sure.  A lot can happen in the next few months and you may see a different side of either of them (positiive or negative) that may make your decision easier.

Yes, you are being superficial   But, I think a lot of brides focus on how things will look in pictures, to guests, etc.  Really think about who will be there for you now and in 20 years, who will be better to bounce ideas off of, who knows you better, and most of all (IMO) who will do everything they can to make your day special.  I had a hard time picking between two friends for MOH, but when I really thought about it everything seemed so simple.

Take some time and pick what feels right to you.  And try to let the height issue go... it wont matter in the long run and you'll kick yourself if you base your decision on this.

PS - don't let the tall friend wear heels!  I'm 5'8" and know that I tower over people when I wear tall heels!

MrsJax09

Ditto on waiting, but dont let your final decision be about looks. If I were your friend and found out you "dumped" me because of my height I would want to put my 5'11" feet in heels up your rump. Not trying to be mean or anything but that is just how I would honestly feel.

Ms.BriarRose

Alright, I am going to preface this with, I have been in your friend's "shoes".

I was not asked to be in a wedding of a very, very close friend, and when I found out why, I was livid- she didn't ask me to be in it because I am a size 20 and everyone else is no more than a size 8, and she didn't want the pics to look bad.  Needless to say, I gave her a piece of my mind, and have not spoken to her since; she isn't deserving of my friendship, IMO.

That being said, wait a little before you pick your BP.  I picked my BP right away, and asked everyone- and have headaches ever since.  You have no idea how things can change in relationships in the blink of an eye, and you do not want to be stuck in a situation because of it.  Trust me, I know.

As far as the height issue, I agree with Jax.  How much do you value her friendship, and are you willing to risk it all?  Even if she isn't into weddings, she's made a commitment to you about being the best MOH she can be, and you need to trust that.  If you want your cousin to be in because it's family, that's different.  If you want your cousin because she is shorter, well, I am going to reserve the words I have for that situation, but since I have been there based on my overall appearance, you can imagine that they are not very nice words.  No only that, but from what I read, it sounds like your cousin only wants the MOH for the title and prestige.  I may be wrong, but she offered to be MOH?  You don't offer, you wait for the bride to ask you.

You need to think about what really matters when it comes to weddings- it's about the people who love you and your FI supporting you on one of the most important days of your life.  It is NOT about how great your pictures look based on the looks of your Bridal Party.  I think you need to sit down and think about this long and hard before you make a decision.  Hopefully, you come to the right decision- which by the last comment of being superficial, you already know what it is.

Mrs.LuraT

I say don't worry about the height. 

MrsJax09

Also - your BP are more than just people for pictures. These are the people you should be able to turn to for guidance when things get rocky. That is why you chose people that are close to you and you FI. Not that you have not already taken this into consideration, but I just wanted to point out that it is more than just the 1 day.

Santorini2011

Thanks guys for taking it easy on me for obvious reasons.  The underlying reason (she might be a total downer through it all) is harder to come to grips with than the superficial one.  I am going to wait awhile and see how things pan out.

BTW-she is ALWAYS telling me how I am abnormally short and that most girls are closer to her height so it is already a sensitive issue...I never really cared but it has seems to be a big deal to her in her everyday life which makes me know think about these stupid things for the big decisions in my life.

THANKS!!!

Tonysgurl020406

Ditto everything everyone has already said...  Dont worry about how tall your friend is - pick the girl your closest with....  Youve drifted apart for 20 years from your cousin, I would say theres your answer...