Semiwedding related..

gabbagirl89

So, this post is more about my job than the wedding. But the wedding is a factor. My FI gets transferred a lot within his district, so we had to choose a place to live that was somewhat central. In Los Angeles/Orange County so we did. And I moved there. But its an hour and a half drive with traffic each way 84 miles round trip to MY job. Now, I'm a nanny. So I can totally get a new job. The traffic has really been taking a toll on my life and body. But obviously there isn't much time before the wedding to be interviewing. FI is worried I'm going to put our income in jeporady as soon as we're married. But idk how much more I can take! Advice welcomed.

staar987

I would sit down and talk to him about how much this is bothering you. Maybe he doesn't understand how big of a deal it is to you. He may need a little reassurance that you aren't going to just quit and sit at home all day. I don't exactly know your plans on changing jobs, but I would imagine that you wouldn't quit your current job before you have another lined up.

I would also talk about how much gas is costing and the wear and tear on your car. Those things are eating at your budget also. I don't think that changing jobs will put your income in jeopardy, but just have a calm and rational discussion about the toll this is all taking on you.

I live in Orange County and I understand the traffic. FI works about 15 minutes away, but it generally takes him almost an hour to get home.

gabbagirl89

oh good, youre a californian. then youll understand that its crazy for me to live in long beach, and work in PASADENA! yikes. But yes I would definitely line something up prior, hes just afraid it would fall through. its ridiculous, but its putting a strain on what should be an exciting time for us.

staar987

That is a terrible drive! FI drives from Irvine to Fountain Valley/Huntington Beach and hates it, but your drive is far worse. I guess I don't exactly understand what he is afraid of. Any job could fall through at any time. For all anyone knows, the kids that you currently work with could have to move to Washington and then you wouldn't have that job either.

Try sitting down with him and talking about all his concerns and give him realistic responses. No "it will all work out" kind of stuff. If you get a new job and it falls through tell him your plan. Which I'm sure would be that you'd find another job.

He shouldn't be expecting you to spend your life driving around for a job. It sounds like you found a good place to live based on his job. You need to talk to him that it isn't relastic for you to be driving around sourthern CA like that.

gabbagirl89

Thanks! I'll do that :