Save the dates

enid08

Are save the dates really necessary? My wedding is on a really tight budget and it seems like an unessential thing that could be eliminated (assuming I get the invitations out with plenty of time to spare). However, I dont want to breach etiquette too badly. 

calliopeia2013

No, they're not necessary, unless your wedding is on an odd date (a Friday, a holiday weekend, New Years Eve, etc.)  Not sending them may mean slightly fewer people are able to come; make sure all your VIPs know the wedding date well in advance.  Definitely try to get the invitations out a bit early, as well, if you go that route.

Alternately, email save the dates are starting to become a thing. 

heroeswearbrown

No, they're not necessary. They would be a courtesy if you are planning on inviting out of town guests so they have plenty of time to plan. But another thing to be mindful of is that if you send them a save the date, you should also send them an invitation, so I would be sure that everyone you send one to is on the "definitely invite" list should you choose to use them.

My mother looked at me like I had a third eye when I told her we were planning sending out save the dates, but when they got married 29 years ago, not only was it not as common, but most of their guests were in the same state if not the same town as they were.

in my case, FI's family all live on the east coast, so we're sending out STDs to almost everyone just as a courtesy whether they will be able to make it or not. At least this way, it gives them the chance to plan. Time off, airfare, car, whatever may need to be planned out this far in advance. we're not sending them out until late March or early April though.

enid08

I see. I don't have many people coming from out of state, so I should be able to skip them. Thanks you for the advice.

Katred08

I'm skipping them....I think they're cute and I'm always happy to receive them, but I think it's an easy expense to cut.  Especially since we're all getting married in January, the chances of people being busy are a little bit slimmer, know what i mean?  If I was getting married in the summer, I might send them.  We're only having about 130 people....all the VIPs already know via word of mouth, but i'll probably do an emailed save the date in the next few months.

Starqueg

We're doing them, but only sending them to OOT guests and probably close family.  Everyone else will get an invitation and word will spread via word of mouth about the date.

heroeswearbrown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2013-weddings_save-the-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:808dddd9-a33d-4d5f-8a47-f091dcd1c99fDiscussion:db76ca3a-2bc2-407e-b02c-e954db8f38f4Post:facff98d-9a81-49b7-9067-8819e81f8c41">Re: Save the dates</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm skipping them....I think they're cute and I'm always happy to receive them, but I think it's an easy expense to cut. <strong>Especially since we're all getting married in January, the chances of people being busy are a little bit slimmer, know what i mean? </strong>If I was getting married in the summer, I might send them.  We're only having about 130 people....all the VIPs already know via word of mouth, but i'll probably do an emailed save the date in the next few months.
Posted by Katred08[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Ooooh! True. I hadn't thought about that. However, it also depends on when in January you're getting married. We're getting married in early January, so I am trying to allow people to plan holiday travel as well. Over the course of three weeks, we will have Christmas, New Years and our wedding. So I'd be a little nervous to not send them, but A.) I'm kind of a nervous person, and B.) almost all of FI's family will be coming from OOT. </div>

Katred08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2013-weddings_save-the-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:808dddd9-a33d-4d5f-8a47-f091dcd1c99fDiscussion:db76ca3a-2bc2-407e-b02c-e954db8f38f4Post:62e551bf-1c5f-4cba-8161-6a3950742b52">Re: Save the dates</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save the dates : Ooooh! True. I hadn't thought about that. However, it also depends on when in January you're getting married. We're getting married in early January, so I am trying to allow people to plan holiday travel as well. Over the course of three weeks, we will have Christmas, New Years and our wedding. So I'd be a little nervous to not send them, but A.) I'm kind of a nervous person, and B.) almost all of FI's family will be coming from OOT. 
Posted by heroeswearbrown[/QUOTE]

that's true.  and i always forget that January isn't a slow time of year everywhere!  I'm in CT, so a January wedding is pretty unusual, but in warmer parts of the country, I guess maybe it's not a slow time of year at all.

abbiecorwin

You could also do very simple post cards. Maybe of a flower you will be using, or from the town the wedding will be in. Or anything you find for cheap. The postage required for postcards is less than envelopes, and the only information included is the date, so it should be fine to send through the mail, right? And you could only send them to people you are concerned about, if it turns out to be too much of an expense. I made sure we had specific money for STDs, because if I didn;t send them, I would be a wreck the months until invitations went out/RSVPs came back. 

Hend3020

I did save the dates, but only because we've been engaged for forever and a day and I'm 100% convinced people needed to be reminded that we are ACTUALLY gettting married!