Mother of the Bride/Dress drama

sapink

So I would like some feedback from some fellow brides, if at all possible.. My fiance and I got engaged 3 months ago and our wedding isn't for another year. My mom has been driving me crazy since we got engaged (imagine that), and the one thing she's been obsessing about the most is what she will be wearing for the wedding, since that is clearly the most important detail. She's been looking online like crazy, and even going to shops to try on different MOB dresses to find a color and type of dress that looks best on her. Now, mind you, we do have colors picked out, but I haven't even begun to shop for wedding dresses for myself (besides looking through magazines). I had kind of been taking her fashion persistence with a grain of salt, since we still have quite a while, and then just the other day she went shopping with my aunt and actually found and purchased a dress. When she called and told me this, I was a bit weirded out since I thought it was pretty common etiquette for the bride to get her dress/decide on the overall style before anyone else purchased their outfits... 

Is it just me, or is this a little odd?? Again, I didn't want to make a big deal about this so I just put on a smile and said "Yes, Mom, that looks nice." But I still can't help but feel like she's jumping the gun. I am not a fashionista chick, or a controlling bridezilla, so I could honestly care less what my mother wears on that day; but I was still very surprised since I fully expected my dress shopping to come first.... Comments??

Harris2White

I think it's weird.  I think really you're upset because this day is supposed to be about you and your fiance and not her.  I'm sure you'd rather her be that way about your dress or helping with all of the details.  Having her purchase her dress before you've done much just makes it seem like she's more concerned about herself. 

My mom is kinda like this too.  She hasn't purchased a dress yet, but it was one of the 1st questions she asked me after I got engaged....like while I was still on the phone with her after telling her we were engaged.  

There's not much you can do about it now though.  Maybe now that she has that figured out she'll be able to concentrate on you guys:)

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_missouri-kansas-city_mother-of-the-bridedress-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:82Discussion:792d7cd7-549b-4f1d-97d4-b9dca806cf38Post:ff3f1214-da31-4d26-bdc6-fc389a175763">Re: Mother of the Bride/Dress drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I    There's not much you can do about it now though.  Maybe now that she has that figured out she'll be able to concentrate on you guys:)
Posted by Harris2White[/QUOTE]

I agree as well.  It is good etiquette for the bride to choose first, then the MOB and finally the FMIL.  But as we all know, sometimes it just doesn't happen that way.  But I wouldn't dwell on it now (I know, it can be hard) but move on with your plans for your attire! 

kelleyku05

I think your mom is probably just excited that her daughter is getting married and she gets to dress up.  I do agree that it's supposed to be about you, but when it comes to moms it is kind of about them too when their daughter gets married.  My mom got a little catty when my MIL got the same color dress as her, but it all worked out in the end.  I did make sure that I "okayed" both Mom's dresses because, at the end of the day, I was the bride!  Maybe that's a little bridezilla-ish, but oh well! 
I think it's okay to talk to mom about the fact that you want to make sure everything looks nice together and you haven't chosen colors and what not yet.  Have you seen the dress?  What do you think about it?

lostmykeys

I'm a MOB and I agree that she is probably just sooooo very excited about the upcoming wedding.  As long as the dress isn't horrible looking or very revealing, I'd just let it ride.