alcohol or no alcohol?

tosha9266

ok so i was talking to my mother last night and she says i should not serve alcohol at the wedding due to the fact that we have some family members that get kinda crazy and go overboard when they drink (especially if it is free)

another option i thought of was since im doing a rustic vintage wedding, having a homemade bottle of wine(my hubbys grandfather owns a vineyard)  at each table 6 people to a table so every one would get one glass?

princess pop

Maybe consider a cash bar?

tosha9266

yea i thought about that but since people are flying in i wouldn't want them to have to pay for drinks, plus that doesn't solve the case for the members who cant behave they would just buy the drinks and get drunk
but thank you for your suggestion

Christine9866

Were you planning on doing top shelf?? Maybe just serve beer, wine, and a signature drink and take away the hard liquors.  P.S. keep in mind bartenders should be smart enough to cut someone off if they are too intoxicated. Not that the day isn't going to be enjoyable already, but if I was in your position I wouldn't change what I want because other people do not know how to be responsibile. Thats just my opinion.

joheryl

Yes I agree with PP regarding bartenders cutting people off if they are too intoxicated.

Personally I would not enjoy a wedding with no option of alcohol whether host or cash bar just because with a nice meal I like to have a glass of wine.  Maybe closing the bar during dinner and speeches and having wine poured or bottles at the table can cut back on drinking as well.

[Deleted User]

We're doing a complimentary beer and wine only reception with 4-5 appetizers during cocktail hour, a 2 entrees/three sides buffet dinner, wedding cake and a cookie bar.  That should be enough food to soak up the alcohol(I hope).  I've told the wedding planner to look for nearly intoxicated guests and to tell the bartender to cut them off if he hasn't noticed already.  We are going to do an after party at a nearby bar and restaurant so what people do after they leave the reception is up to them at that point.

Another option is drink tickets.  All drinks are free but each guest gets a certain number of drink tickets that they have to give to the bartender to get a drink.  Now, the rebels can always convince someone to give them their tickets if the other guest isn't drinking but it is a way to make people think about how much they've had and they'll have to spend some time looking for extra tickets.

Cryssteen

I get your dilema.  But, from experience, I say it can get even WORSE when there's a cash or no bar.   I went to the wedding of a college friend.  To save money and cut down on rowdiness, they opted for a cash bar.  Problem is, they let everyone know in advance, and most people went BYOB.  It was a disaster.  Cops, naked people.  All at a beautiful country club.   I think beer and wine all night should be ok.

orangehills

Definitely don't do a cash bar- those are pretty tacky. I'm serving just wine and beer- and we have a money limit- once we hit that limit, the alcohol is done for the evening. There is plenty of food though, and like PP said- bartenders know when to cut people off. But I would have something- you don't want to take a little social lubrication away from everyone just because a few people aren't mature!

MrsNerraw13

You could have a open bar with  few items for say so long at the reception an then at a certain time it becomes a cash bar. Just have like a note in a picture frame saying at this time it will become a cash bar. 

Weddings with no alcohol are kinda boring and the guest sometimes still bring alcohol in flasks etc.

FutureMrsKupko

I agree with just having limited items such as, wine and beer and telling the bartender its OK to cut people off who are getting too drunk. If your family is the type of fam that likes to drink, I would definitely not have a dry wedding! You still want everyone to have a good time at the reception.

tiny speck

Definitely don't do a cash bar. I like your idea of homemade wine on the tables, but I would put out 2 to 3 bottles per table. One glass of wine each won't be enough. Also, I think this is a good option if you know your guests enjoy wine, but it won't cut it if you have a lot of people who prefer beer, so it might be best to try to host both somehow.

StefffiC

We're having a dry wedding. Neither one of us drink often and we are Baptist, so drinking is frowned upon anyhow.

Lauren+Aaron

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:4f830da5-cfa1-4cb3-9aab-edd0d05696f4Post:68d142fe-37be-4d38-a55d-c0ff034536e2">Re: alcohol or no alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]I get your dilema.  But, from experience, I say it can get even WORSE when there's a cash or no bar.   I went to the wedding of a college friend.  To save money and cut down on rowdiness, they opted for a cash bar.  Problem is, they let everyone know in advance, and most people went BYOB.  It was a disaster.  Cops, naked people.  All at a beautiful country club.   I think beer and wine all night should be ok.
Posted by Cryssteen[/QUOTE]

<div>LOL I totally agree, cash/dry weddings can be a disaster!!  I mean, not always to the point of naked people but people will know find out in advance what you're having and if your guests are the type to drink they will BYOB.  Even if it's your family.  Yup, I've seen <em>bottles</em> brought by family to a dry wedding. Go with your original plan and have your bartender/planners/family cut-off the rowdy people.</div>

StefffiC

Also - if you provide alcohol you can be held responsible for their actions. The liquor liability policy for my small wedding was not cheap. Cash bar = your guests/the Country Club responsible.

ChiGirl2013

We're doing an 11AM ceremony and luncheon reception, so I really hope alcohol isn't going to be an issue.  My sister is an alcoholic and I DEFINITELY intend to point her out to the bartenders discretely and tell them that they need to use their judgement and cut her off when they feel she has had enough.  The reception is in a restaurant, so I'm sure they've dealt with this sort of thing before.

What I'm also doing, and what I would encourage you to do as well, is to have a sit-down chat with my sister and let her know that I will have the bartenders watching her and that I will be instructing them to cut her off as soon as she starts to get out of hand.  I will tell her that she is NOT allowed to get sh-faced at my wedding and that I will have no problem kicking her out if she starts her B.S.  It sounds harsh, but I really and truly don't want to deal with the cops showing up at my wedding.  My sister is a very, VERY mean drunk and it can get ugly quickly.  So for those guests you're worried about, maybe you can just put a bug in their ear (or have another relative that they are close to help you with it) and let them know that they WILL be cut off at the first sign of trouble.  Do it privately so they're not embarrassed, and do it before the wedding so they know what to expect.  Maybe it will cause them to decline the invite if they don't have free reign of the bar, but at least you'll know that they know you won't put up with it.

Since you asked, we are running a tab at the bar, but we'll have 25 guets, I'm guessing, at most and none of them (aside from my sister) are big drinkers.  Plus, who really gets loaded in the middle of the afternoon in a strange city when they know they still have to drive back to the hotel afterwards?  *fingers crossed*

vwhelan85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:4f830da5-cfa1-4cb3-9aab-edd0d05696f4Post:5e6b66df-9a4f-4ef1-b318-27e21ee22185">Re: alcohol or no alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]Definitely don't do a cash bar- those are pretty tacky. I'm serving just wine and beer- and we have a money limit- once we hit that limit, the alcohol is done for the evening. There is plenty of food though, and like PP said- bartenders know when to cut people off. But I would have something- you don't want to take a little social lubrication away from everyone just because a few people aren't mature!
Posted by orangehills[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Are you putting a sign saying what wine and beer is available? I am only having wine and beer to cut costs but don't know how to make it obvious so people don't keep asking bartenders for hard alcohol and getting told "no".</div>

shipsinthenight

We've been planning on doing limited alcohol, mostly because it's an afternoon reception, not an evening one. But recently fi is starting to reconsider having any at all. I'm still on board with having a little, maybe less than we'd originally planned. The general feeling is that cash bars are tacky, but I think most people will understand, especially if you do a mix of the two. Like, champagne for the toasts is included, and maybe a bottle or two a table, but the rest is cash. Or you cover a specific amount with your bar tender or have the bar open for a certain period of time, and the rest is cash bar. There are lots of options, and a good bar tender will happily cut off people who should be. Maybe assign a few people who will be responcible to assist the bar tended if necessary.