I spoke too soon

allychase

First write in today.. grrr. And it's for a 7 month old baby. My aunt and uncle had a no kids policy at their wedding 4 years ago so I feel like they will understand if I explain to them I'm doing the same thing.. it's just so awkward! I don't want to bring it up..

We're also having an issue with FI cousins out of state. They have 2 toddlers and are coming down and staying with FSIL. We feel like it'll be a hassle to tell them they can't bring their little ones but FMIL offered to hire the preschool teacher from our church as a babysitter for them and I feel like thats a good option and hope they go for it. I can't tell either of these two families no kids at all then they come and see someone else brought kids! It's soo frustrating.

[Deleted User]

We are doing the babysitter thing at the venue.  The kids will be upstairs so if their parents want to leave them with the babysitter, they can.  The caterers said they would make some mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, etc for the kids so I'm telling the parents about this option.  I'm also asking if the kids have any allergies to any food.  We might tell the caterers not to worry about it and just have the babysitter make the food unless she has too many munchkins to watch.

Will your babysitter be on site?

orangehills

Oh that stinks, but I agree- you have to tell them, so sorry! We will understand if you can't make it, but hope we can see you! and by the wedding their baby will be closer to 9 months if it's 7 months now, and that is definitely old enough to be with a babysitter for awhile. Really, you don't even have to arrange one if you don't want to, it is the parents responsibility. But if you have a babysitter available, it's a nice touch!

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry that is awkward. Out of curiosity, is this a VIP? and is she breast feeding? Unfortunately, for breast feeding, it is a bit harder as the mom either has to go feed or go pump (which is a longer process). If that's the case, and she is VIP, maybe seeing if the babysitter can just be in another room at the reception would be a great option. It would allow the reception to basically be kids free but allow the mom to go feed her baby and then get right back in the action. I think you're totally within your rights to just say "nope, no babies" if you want but it might be a way to keep them still coming if they wouldn't without the kid.

allychase

On site babysitter isn't an option at our venue but we would have the babysitter at either FSIL or FMIL's house. I could understand them not being comfortable without being able to check on them whenever but we know the lady very well and she's great with children, very responsible. We'll have to see if they go for it.

ETA: She's not really a VIP and she isn't breastfeeding. 

adawn1981

Thankfully I have not had any write ins yet and most of the RSVPs are in.  I did however get one with an extra line drawn on it that said *unsure*  and a couple with no names, but a return address and one with no name and no return address. LOL Who knew RSVPing was so hard?

joheryl

Sorry you are going through this!  I had one cousin tell me they weren't coming since they are BF, she actually said don't bother sending them an invite after the STD.  I made the decision for no babies at our wedding.

rymurkit

Give someone an RSVP card and all hell breaks loose.  I am frustrated!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_i-spoke-too-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:f0f30348-3fcd-4ac8-9b73-79787568c721Post:be859013-9be2-4ba1-8bf4-c8fbc2a93f11">Re: I spoke too soon</a>:
[QUOTE]On site babysitter isn't an option at our venue but we would have the babysitter at either FSIL or FMIL's house. I could understand them not being comfortable without being able to check on them whenever but we know the lady very well and she's great with children, very responsible. We'll have to see if they go for it. ETA: She's not really a VIP and she isn't breastfeeding. 
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

If she's not VIP and not breastfeeding, then I think you are PLENTY accomodating. Feel free to stand your ground on this one. I hope she is just cool with it and there's no fuss!

ChiGirl2013

As a mom, I have to say that there is absolutely a 0% chance of me leaving my 9 month old - heck, even my 3 year old - alone in a strange house with a person I've never met before.  It just wouldn't happen.  I'm not saying this to try and change your mind.  I just wanted you to be prepared for them to flip out at the idea of a stranger watching their children off-site, or they may just decline all together. 

As a parent, I get that some people want adults only weddings.  That's your choice and people should respect it.  However, if people know I have a child and they invite me to their wedding, they need to understand that we're not going to attend.  We just don't have anyone nearby that is responsible enough and patient enough to keep dd all day and all night - most likely ending up in a sleepover where they'll have to get up at 6am when she gets up. 

Also, as a former nanny, if you're going to expect 1 person to care for more than 2 toddlers/preschoolers, it would be awesome if you would take care of the meal for them, even if it's just a pizza delivery or cooking some pasta that day before the can be microwaved.  Kids that age are FULL of energy and bouncing all over the place - especially when they're exploring a new environment.  The sitter needs to spend her time keeping her eye on the kids, not cooking in the kitchen while they roam around and bounce on the furniture. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_i-spoke-too-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:f0f30348-3fcd-4ac8-9b73-79787568c721Post:1010922c-3aa2-451d-8954-0c7fb4ad43b0">Re: I spoke too soon</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, as a former nanny, if you're going to expect 1 person to care for more than 2 toddlers/preschoolers, it would be awesome if you would take care of the meal for them, even if it's just a pizza delivery or cooking some pasta that day before the can be microwaved.  Kids that age are FULL of energy and bouncing all over the place - especially when they're exploring a new environment.  The sitter needs to spend her time keeping her eye on the kids, not cooking in the kitchen while they roam around and bounce on the furniture. 
Posted by ChiGirl2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh trust me, I know lol.  We took our 5yo niece and 3yo nephew to Disney World a couple of weeks ago-DEAR GOD lol.</div><div>
</div><div>I should have clarified--I need to check with the caterer and see how much they would charge to put together some kid food.  If they're going to charge the same as they'll charge for the adult food then H-E-double hockey sticks no.  I will be more than happy to get some pizzas/subway/SOMETHING for the kiddos and babysitter :-)  I highly doubt they'll charge that much for it but I like to have a backup plan.  One of the parents said she would bring her own food for the kids, even though we're providing food for them.  Whatever floats your boat :-)</div>

allychase

FI cousin had a babysitter at the hotel near where she had her reception and it worked out well for her. I'm considering having the sitter stay at the hotel right down the street. My part time job is babysitting and I've worked for over 30 families so I know how cautious parents can be. I'm being accommodating as possible and if they still can't come then it is what it is. Like I said they themselves had a kid free wedding so I don't think they should be too appalled that their baby isn't included. We're paying too much per person for any of our guests to be running after their kid or having to leave insanely early cause their kid is crying. Of course it can still happen that they have to leave cause such is the life of a parent but were trying to give all the guests a nice night out free of children.