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Missouri-St Louis

Is Thursday really a bad Day??

  My fiancee and I have choosen to have our wedding and reception on a Thursay because of a few reasons. One being the pricing for us was alot cheeper and we can afford to have the wedding that we want and not the wedding that we could just afford. Also it is cheaper for our families that are flying in and so on being on a weekend. So I have a friend who is flipping out cause seeing that our wedding is still 7 months away that she can manage  to work half a day and take a long weekend to come to our wedding. And basically is trying to make a gulit trip about us not moving the date for them. SO is really a bad idea to have it on a thursday??

Re: Is Thursday really a bad Day??

  • I'd be pissed about a Thursday wedding.  Honestly even Friday weddings are a pain.

    That means your rehearsal is on Wednesday and so people in the wedding party have to take a half day or leave early Wednesday and be off on Thursday for the wedding and then probably Friday be off because they're exhausted.  

    For out of town guests, it means travel Wednesday because if your wedding is important to them they'll travel early to make sure that they have time to fly in if the original plans are delayed.  

    For a lot of people, 2 weeks vacation is all they get, so you're asking them to use 30% of their yearly vacation for your wedding.  It is reasonable that they feel inconvenienced by this.

    If it is a money issue, I'd postpone until I could afford a wedding on a more convenient day for my guests.  This is about celebrating with the people you love.
    White Knot
    Stand up for something you believe in. White Knot
  • Ms. Mary,
     I understand what you are saying to a point. The bridal party is all in town friends and they are all with in 20 mins of the venue. I have also made sure that if they have children they I have hired a few people to take care of them and our venue has a family game room where kids can play ping pong and pool and so on for free. Our traveling guest are all retired so having to miss work is not an issue on that part. I have a pretty blunt family if it would have cost them issues in anyway they would have said something before the fact of  getting the date out of my mouth.  This one friend is the ONLY one having an issue. And I must add that the date we had before we had to change it once was as well on a thurday the 24th and she was perfectly fine with going to the wedding with out any issues.
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2013
    I think your friend is wrong to try to get you to change your wedding day... but I also think your wedding is insanely inconvienent and your friend is totally within rights to feel very put out if she tries to attend (if I were her I would just decline the invite).

    Vacation days are very precious. Traveling is already inconvenient, so you should be honored that she cares enough and wants to come to your wedding despite having to travel. But asking her to also cash in her vacation (or work long days the rest of the week) to do it to is asking a lot. And does she have a significant other (with 7 months to go, even if she doesn't now she very well could when invites go out)? If so that's two people that might have to take vacation.
    In the end if she ends up declining, please be understanding.

    But to answer your question... yes. Thursday weddings are usually pretty troublesome for some guests. May I ask what time and perhaps what area of town?
    Guests will potentially need to take off work/class early, fight traffic, change and primp, then fight more traffic, to get to a wedding where they'll already be tired from work and won't want to stay up too late partying/drinking because they have to get up for work the next day (or if they're students they might have homework due). (Also, while Wednesday/Thursday flights are probably the cheapest, Saturday morning flights are not much more expensive. Personally I'd rather spend $20 more on a plane ticket than take a vacation day)
    You'll probably need to prepare for some people skipping the ceremony and heading straight to the reception.

    If most of your guests are in town and don't have strict hours at their jobs, and if the wedding starts at maybe 7 and goes to only 10 or so, then it's feasible (especially if you can use some of the money you saved to supply even better food and alcohol). But otherwise, it isn't ideal.
    It can still be a wonderful wedding, but be understanding if less people can attend than you'd like.

    As far as your friend... maybe if it comes up again say something like, "Friend, the wedding date is set in stone. It would mean a lot to me if you could come, but I do understand that it could be a hardship for you so no matter what happens I'll understand. And oh! I found the best new bean dip recipe. You have to try it!"
    Try to shift focus away from it so your wedding doesn't become a sore spot in your friendship.
  • I wouldn’t mind if it was my best friend or my closest friends. I think a small intimate wedding on a Thursday is on in the summer or over spring break. However it would be a huge pain to rearrage our schedule as for most of the kids activities take place on Thursday nights. I personal haven’t had an unplanned Thursday night in years. Giving enough time and for the right people I would do attend a Thursday wedding.

    It wouldn’t be my first choice. I understand what you are saying and I have to say Friday and Sunday prices are normally cheaper than Saturday price.

     

  • Ro041Ro041 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Is Thursday really a bad Day??:
      My fiancee and I have choosen to have our wedding and reception on a Thursay because of a few reasons. One being the pricing for us was alot cheeper and we can afford to have the wedding that we want and not the wedding that we could just afford. Also it is cheaper for our families that are flying in and so on being on a weekend. So I have a friend who is flipping out cause seeing that our wedding is still 7 months away that she can manage  to work half a day and take a long weekend to come to our wedding. And basically is trying to make a gulit trip about us not moving the date for them. SO is really a bad idea to have it on a thursday??
    Posted by bacardicat3279
    Have you traveled recently for a wedding?  If she doesn't have family in town, she has to pay for:
    travel (flight or gas, which are both insanely expensive)
    hotel
    rental car (if flying)
    attire
    food

    For one person, that bill could be almost $1,000.  You are asking her to save $150 per month for the next 7 months so she can go to you wedding, and then to cash in her vacation at the same time.  Should she be guilting you about it?  No.  But should you be understanding that while your date is convenient for you, it may not be convenient for everyone else?  Yes.  You should talk to her, explain to her why you chose a Thursday, tell her you would love her to come, but that you understand if the cost makes it impossible.  Tell her if she can't make it, you will find another time to celebrate.

  • Rochelle, she doesn't have to she was offered my guest bedroom to stay in and as far as driving. Well she lives were my father lived and I was going to be going down that morning before the wedding anyway to pickup family and I offered her a spot in the van to travel. 
     
    "My reply to her was simple it was I am sorry that that night would be a problem for you. I really wanted you to make it but I fully understand if you cannot. I will make sure you get a copy of the wedding and maybe on a weekend I can take off from work I will come down and we can have a glass of wine and watch it together."
     
    I guess my point being that at the very first the wedding was on a thurday the week after and she was THERE.. now that we had to move it a week earlier it is all of a sudden a huge deal.

    But thank you ladies I understand where you all are coming from as well, And I really apperciate your advise!!
  • Aurianna,
      Yes most the people are in town and the wedding is at 7 and it will go to 11 with the reception. I have already told my guest that if they come for dinner and have fun for a little bit and need to leave because of work and or anything else feel free. But if they can swing it  would love them just have a blast and an adult night out.. Pretty much everyone has no problems with it at all.
  • Your response looks good.

    It's possible at first she was just excited about the wedding and wanted to be there, but the more she thought about it, the harder she realized it would be, and the change in date just gave her an opportunity to bring it up.

    If she is still badgering you about the date, she really shouldn't be.

    Your response seemed appropriate and mature. Hopefully hers will be in the future.

    Good luck with the wedding!
  • I think a Thursday wedding is fantastic. I own a photo/video place and we always offer discounts on non-weekend wedding days, so I bet you are getting tons of deals.
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