Bridesmaid question

mrsrutkowski

So I have a problem- one of my bm is experiencing severe money problems and just told me she doesn't think she'll be able to afford being in the wedding. This is a close friend of mine from middle school. I'd like her to be in... but I'd like some advice from all you ladies.
Should I pay for her dress/shoes and forgo hair/mu for her? She wouldn't be able to contribute to the bachelorette or bridal shower. Is that fair to the other girls?
Or should I not have her in it but have her involved in another way as a reader or something?
I need your suggestions/advice. Thank you in advance!!!

sparkellyy

I would definitely ask to be involved in another way. One of my BMs told me she can't afford hair & makeup and I really thought about offering to pay - but it is totally unfair to the other BMs.
I would incorporate her in some way throughout the day & definitely ask for her to get ready with the rest of your party that AM.
Good Luck!

Xstatic3333

I'm making hair and makeup optional for everyone, but not paying for it. If you did that, I think it would be okay to discreetly help her with the dress, assuming she's a great friend who is sincere about her difficulties and you can't imagine getting married without her. I wouldn't worry about the shower and bachelorette; I know in my case not all of my BMs will be contributing equal time or money there either. Good luck!

emeejeeayen

Can you do mismatched bridesmaid dresses so potentially everyone could wear something they already own or something they're planning to buy anyway? 

I think you should still have her be  BM. I really think it would be okay to offer to pay for her dress. I am not requiring hair and makeup of any of my girls. IDK I just think it's ishty to let money get in the way of one of your nearest and dearest standing up with you. 

RailWayWife

Can you make her budget work at all? I am with emeejeeayen on this one. Mismatched dresses are a great way to go (This is what I am doing) hair and makeup is not mandatory.

princess pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2013-weddings_bridesmaid-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:0c4df628-5c86-4382-8f99-5d75e3f57aa4Discussion:276a9f25-65a6-44df-8694-f15a7c0ec9bcPost:bdfaf87f-f5af-4ace-a88f-214d9a2774df">Re:Bridesmaid question</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm making hair and makeup optional for everyone, but not paying for it. If you did that, I think it would be okay to discreetly help her with the dress, assuming she's a great friend who is sincere about her difficulties and you can't imagine getting married without her. I wouldn't worry about the shower and bachelorette; I know in my case not all of my BMs will be contributing equal time or money there either. Good luck!
Posted by Xstatic3333[/QUOTE]

this!

mrsrutkowski

ok I think that's what I'll do then - I'd definitely rather have her standing by my side and participating in everything than just sitting as a guest.. we've been close friends since middle school. Thanks so much for your advice girls! (This sounds cheesy but everytime I have a wedding concern I always think to post it here first b/c you all are so helpful!)