Save The Dates?

klreese0213

Have you done them? / Are you planning to do them?

I'm debating on them. our wedding is a year away, on a Wednesday night (Leap day). The date is special for us, so we will not change the date. However, i'm hesitant on sending them, as we are planning a smaller wedding and i don't want anyone offended by not recieving one. I'm not inviting some aunts/uncles, family friends, and many cousins.

So, should I or shouldn't I send the Save The Dates?....

Edit: "Yes, sent them, no one said anything about not getting one" (oops sorry ladies)

zulamay

We are doing Save the Dates because we have a lot of out of town guests.  If most of your guests are local, I'm not sure you will need them.  Although, since you're getting married in the middle of the week, you might make your decision based on how many people will need to take off work to attend the wedding.  Most of the stuff I've read says that you just send save the dates to immediate family and out of town guests.   As far as those family members not invited - I doubt they'll be any more offended by not having a save the date as they would not having and invite.  It just is up to you with how early you want to notify people of their invitation. (In my experience, it's better to send the Save the Dates and be clear up front, before people start inviting themselves.)

Allycat11

I would send them no matter what as long as you are having a reasonably long engagement (no sense in people sending them if they are only engaged for a few months).  Especially with it being on a unique day it is best to give people as much notice as possible.  They may need to figure out travel arrangements and with it being in the middle of the week they may need to arrange time off work.

No matter what, family and friends may be offended by not being invited.  I do not see how they would be more offended a year out than they would be a few weeks out when they don't receive an invite. 

klreese0213

i guess my only defense with not sending them would be that if people call saying they hadn't receieved one and i'd feel pressured to invite them to the wedding- which is silly, i shouldnt feel that way.
I only have a hand full of out of town guest. maybe i should consider it though....

Allycat11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_save-dates-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:08a60674-424a-4e40-a07b-253f82e4f47bPost:64165dd4-f6f6-441e-b379-5d1c2542d939">Re: Save The Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]i guess my only defense with not sending them would be that if people call saying they hadn't receieved one and i'd feel pressured to invite them to the wedding- which is silly, i shouldnt feel that way. Posted by klreese0213[/QUOTE]

I see what you mean by that, but the same issue would come up when you send invitations. 

klreese0213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_save-dates-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:08a60674-424a-4e40-a07b-253f82e4f47bPost:c242506c-ed1f-4ce1-a46a-091781925348">Re: Save The Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Save The Dates? : I see what you mean by that, but the same issue would come up when you send invitations. 
Posted by Allycat11[/QUOTE]

Right exaclty.. but it'd be after so i wouldn't have to accomdate haha

abbeylynne06

To me, it all depends on how small (you said it wold be small) of a wedding you're having... if it's pretty much just immediate family and a few friends, I'd probably just use word of mouth. 

If it's more than that, since your wedding is in the middle of the week, I guess I'd send them (I'm hugely not a fan of STDs, but they are probably necessary in this case).  However, do NOT send them this far out... wait until about at least 6 months out.  SO much can change before then, so don't plan on doing them early.

And, I know you said you're not going to change it, but have you thought about how inconvenient it is to have your wedding on a Wednesday?  I think it's really going to prevent people from being able to come.

klreese0213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_save-dates-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:08a60674-424a-4e40-a07b-253f82e4f47bPost:69aa541f-70cb-4b87-95d8-53632daa14e3">Re: Save The Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE] And, I know you said you're not going to change it, but have you thought about how inconvenient it is to have your wedding on a Wednesday?  I think it's really going to prevent people from being able to come.
Posted by abbeylynne06[/QUOTE]
We want the date, Leap day... so no, i'm not willing to change my date. If people don't come, that is fine. I'm not one to be offened if people don't show up to any of my parties- i'm just not <em>that </em>person.
Inconvenient or not, i'm my wedding. if people don't show thats ok. The people most important will be there- me  and my Fi.

mrsbunyip

I'm planning on sending some.  I'm about to post an STD question on my wedding month board to see if it's too soon! :P

Perhaps you could send STD's to just your out-of-town guests since they are the ones you are most concerned about saving the date.  Spread the locals through word of mouth.  

picklesmurphy

Oh Heck-Yeah klreese! I feel the same way. We are doing a sunday wedding and are getting crap for it already. If people want to leave at 9:00 so there monday morning is a little easier, well then boo on them. I don't need to please anyone but my FI and myself. I know some people will leave early, but they probably would have anyway. The people who love you will be there.

rak123

We sent out STDs, but we didn't send them to everyone on our guest list.  We only sent them to people we really wanted there, like family (siblings, aunts, uncles, etc) and close friends (bridal party and a few others.)  That way, if anything were to happen, like we had to cut our guest list dramatically due to budget issues, we wouldn't be obligated to invite everyone on our original guest list.  

Since you are getting married on an untraditional day, I would definitely send them out.  We sent ours out at the 9 month mark, and I think that was the perfect time to get them out.  We also had a lot of OOT guests.

Whats the significance of leap year? Just curious.

klreese0213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_save-dates-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:08a60674-424a-4e40-a07b-253f82e4f47bPost:d06f486f-cfaa-412a-8055-5cc52eef0eaf">Re: Save The Dates?</a>:
[QUOTE]Whats the significance of leap year? Just curious.
Posted by rak123[/QUOTE]
We just LOVE the idea of Leep year. 4 years ago we talked a lot about it and just have always liked it. Through the years it's just always been an on going joke with us. So with us finally ready to get married and leep year next year it was perfect.

Thank you everyone for the input. i've decided to send them out around the 8/7month mark. i think it'll give everyone enough time.

MMRoberts11

I'll be doing them since my wedding will be on a Friday.  With the unique day I'd recommend sending them out in 2-4 months so people can be prepared.