Anyone NOT have a flower girl or ring bearer??

leeshab1982

My FI and I are leaning towards not having a flower girl or ring bearer because we both have nieces and nephews (7 total) that are all in the same age range.  We are equally close with all of them, so we really can't choose between them and we don't want to make anyone feel left out.  We are fine with it, but my mom is bummed and I think some other family members are too, but just haven't said anything yet.  We aren't having kids at our wedding, except for our nieces and nephews, so they'll still be there for pictures and stuff.  Anyone else choose not to have a FG or RB?  If so, were people upset?  ORDid anyone choose a FG and RB and leave people out?  If so, any hurt feelings?   

anaeugalo

We're not having either, but we don't have any young nephews or niece (we're the first to get married, actually).  I do have friends who hinted that their kid could fill the role, but I politely ignored their suggestions.

LISA R

We dont have a ring bearer. We also excluded one of Austins nieces from being a flower girl because I already had three. Dont know if anyone was upset. Then again whose wedding is it anyway? It doesn't matter what you do everyone will never be happy

Sanibel09

We did not have either, as the only nieces/nephews we have our still very very young.  My 10 year old brother we named a "Junior Groomsmen", we had him hold the rings.

thecatsfancy

We're not having a FG or RB.  My MOH has two little girls, but she decided to not bring them with her (she's flying in from RI).  If the girls had been FGs, one of FI's friends has a little boy who could have been the RB, but we decided not to have any.

whrldtravlr

We aren't having a FG since we don't have any little girls in the family. I think it's going to be ok.

minifalda

We didn't have them. I didn't want kids in or at my wedding. However, neither of us have nieces or nephews. Still, if we did, I wouldn't have had them in the wedding. I'm not a fan of RBs and FGs.

corinne2010

FI and I chose not to have a FG or RB. It's YOUR wedding, do what you and FI want. We're not having kids at the wedding and plus I don't have any nieces, nephews, cousins, brothers, sisters, friends kids, that are young enough. You don't have to have a FG or RB. I'm sure your mom will get over it. But like pp said, you can't please everyone so just do what you want!

mordacious

We aren't. We really don't want a FG or RB. I have a nephew and my mom was a bit upset but she understood.

Tammara7

we didn't have either

alarthame

I have a RB but not an FG. Everyone thought it was werid at first, but they get over it. You have to do what you and FI feel comfortable doing. If you can't decide, then don't have them. If you do choose some over the others, you could always find other little jobs for the other 5.

festivegal2008

Why are they bummed?  They are supposed to ooh and aah over YOU.  Sure the little ones look absolutely darling in their tiny little formalwear but IMO it takes away from the bride.We're not having either/or.  My reason was because I have a low patience level with little kids (don't get me wrong, I luv them to pieces, but in the chance that they won't cooperate, I don't want it to wreck my wedding).  We're not invitiing kids either, excpet for my future step daughter who will be 11 1/2 when we get married and she is a jr. bridesmaid.  FI was cool with it too.  His great niece has been a flower girl 3 or 4 times; she's 4 and our church requires kids in the BP to be at least 6.  Saving grace in case his family asks why...I understand your predicament though.  FI's nieces are in their late teens and 20s and one of them really wanted to be a bridesmaid but I never asked her to because he has 6 nieces and I won't play faves or pick & choose. 

KarenLee77

We are not

leeshab1982

I think my mom just always pictured the kids as part of the wedding, and when I said we weren't going to do it that way, she was disappointed.  I don't think she understands that you don't HAVE to have a FG or RB.  All of the weddings she's been to have had them.  She's kind of old-fashioned, not because she's snooty or set in her ways, she just hasn't been exposed to much else. I just wanted to check and make sure I wasn't crazy about this one.  And now I see that lots of people opt not to have them and it's really no big deal.Thanks ladies!!

ejay

I think its one of those things where you don't notice if you aren't looking for them. Like of course your going to see them if you are there, but you aren't going to be like oh where is the flowergirl?! I've been to a few weddings without flower girls or ring boys and it was fine. Plus they sometimes get fidgety standing up front and I always get distracted by that lol.

eclipsethecat

We didnt. We had no children involved period. I think it turned out great! LOL

amnicu

You most certainly don't have to... we aren't having a flower girl.However, if you want to involve the kids, you could just have them ALL dress up and walk down the aisle together. It could be really cute!

moeoscar

We didn't have any children at our wedding, that included a FG and RB. As far as I know we didn't hurt anyone's feelings, too bad if we did! I think it worked out really well.

amyvan317

The one word of advice my cousin had for me when we got engaged (we have a large family, with little kids pretty much constantly) was "do not have kids in your wedding party". She had 5 little ones to make everyone happy and it was more of a headache dealing with them and their parents. We just had a JR BM and JR GM and that was headache enough.

rainyrae

We are not having a party at all. Most people that we talked to said "good for you"I think that people will understand !GL!Maybe you can honor them by doing a picture with them

cinday

We didn't have either and no one cared or noticed.

ked353

I think that you should have some! Maybe two of each... I do not feel like it is leaving anyone out! All my cousions and siblings have kids... So there is a total of 12 (2 boys, 10 girls) under the age of 14.  I have 2 FG and that is all.  The boys right now are 14 and new born. So no RB. It was tough but I do not think that I am leaving ANYONE out. They are all coming to the wedding and I see it as something special for the FG.  Plus one is my niece and other goddaughter. This is your (and FI) day. Do not leave something out or miss making some children feel special because of hurt feelings.. Maybe you can choose the oldest from each side. That would be totally fair.  Good Luck...LET US KNOW WHAT YOU DO!!

kbattle1022

We aren't having any, but it's really because we don't have any kids that age in our families or our friends families. 

liza0828

Yeah, we solved this problem by having 4 flower girls and 3 jr bridesmaids... probably not the answer you were looking for. LOL.

mrs*macklin

We're not have a FG or RB - no kids at all at ceremony or reception.

meret28

We have a lot of kids in our family too.. we chose the 4 kids we wanted most in the wedding and that was that.I don't think anyone felt left out.. at least not that I heard about at all.GL!

sinnedambition

We are not having either. But we are having a jr. bridesmaid and groomsmen