Michigan-Detroit

Should I Attend the Bachelorette?

I could use your input on this from a politeness/family politics perspective, guys.  :)

As I've mentioned, FI's twin brother is getting married a month before we are.  His FI has been really sweet and invited me to her shower, bachelorette, their daughter's birthday party, etc., even though we are basically strangers. 

However...last weekend I got an invite (FB) to the bachelorette.  Over 50 girls are invited, and they're renting a party bus, pre-drinking at her place and then bar-hopping for five hours or so.  Of these girls, I will know 2 - the bride-to-be, and FI's other brother's GF (assuming she comes - and I barely know her, either).

I have something of a small social phobia anyway, and the idea of being out all night with a bunch of girls I don't know (who all know each other - or at least large groups of each other) is a fairly awful idea for me.  And on top of it, I don't really drink and despise the party/bar scene - so this whole scenario is the absolute last thing I would ever want to do with my evening.  For the record, FI agrees and says that if he were in my shoes, he wouldn't go.  What I'm wondering is: what do you think?  Is the fact that I'm attending the bridal shower enough to prove my interest and involvement, or do I really need to attend the bachelorette because this is going to affect our relationship as SILs for the rest of our lives?
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Re: Should I Attend the Bachelorette?

  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm like you in that I have a severe social phobia so I likely wouldn't go.

    That being said, my FI's cousin got married a couple years ago and I was invited to her b-party where I only knew her, FI's aunt and FI's sister. I didn't really want to go, but because I knew I'd be joining the family eventually (and his cousin is basically a sister to him), I sucked it up and went. It wasn't OMG FABULOUS, but it wasn't terrible either.

    Is there any way you can meet up with them for a small part of the evening -- like maybe wherever they're doing dinner or at their first bar stop? Make an appearance, but don't spend all night with them?
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  • edited December 2011
    I usually have to force myself to go to social things like this. I'm going to my FSILs bparty and it's a similar situation - I don't really know anyone but her and it's an OOT party. I've started chatting with a few of the girls over email so I feel a bit more comfortable and I recently met a bunch of them at the shower. I don't think it'll be the end of the world if you don't go. But since it's a big party, a few more guests might be in the same situation as you. I like Meegles advice, maybe only attend part of the day (dinner or if they do a spa day).
  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would attend just part of it and not go on the party bus or meet them at a bar instead of being "stuck" on the party bus the entire time.  I've seen this happen at a few bachelorette parties before and it's not big deal really.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  Meet up for dinner and make an appearance.
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  • matuofmmatuofm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well...as far as I can tell, there IS no dinner.  It sounds like there'll be an hour or so of "pre-drinking" at her house while everyone gathers and the party bus arrives, though, so maybe I'll just make an appearance at that.
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  • edited December 2011

    I would talk to your fi brothers gf. Ask her if she is going because it sounds like she may be in the same situation as you. Maybe you two could stick together.

    Not that I disagree with what anyone says but this is going to be you sil and I think it is important you guys build a nice relationship. So I do think you should go and support her that night. You never know you could meet some wonderful girls and make new friends. :)

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_should-attend-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:d82efe88-773f-4eb3-80da-c84a7bb9e280Post:845c300e-60f1-482f-8209-2e8f26b04d60">Re: Should I Attend the Bachelorette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well...as far as I can tell, there IS no dinner.  It sounds like there'll be an hour or so of "pre-drinking" at her house while everyone gathers and the party bus arrives, though, so maybe I'll just make an appearance at that.
    Posted by matuofm[/QUOTE]

    I would definitely do this =)  I don't like being in large groups of people especially whent I do not know the majority of the people.  But like others have said, since you are going to be family, I'd definitely make an appearance somewhere in the night =)
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