Advice needed

mel7997

So as the FI and I were starting on the shower thank yous and he tells me that one of the gifts is from someone who crashed the shower.  She(the crasher)  went in on a gift for us with her sister.  Her sister was invited, but the crasher was obviously not.  I am a firm believer that you should only invite guests to the shower AND the wedding.  No shower invites for people who aren't invited to the wedding.  So this makes it an awkward situation for us.  We really don't have the room or the funds to add another person.  I'm not quite sure how to tackle this problem.

Meg1036

I wouldn't worry about it.  I would definitely send her a thank-you card if she helped with the gift, but it is not your fault she decided to "crash" your shower, so you do not owe her an invite to your wedding.  Especially if, as I assume is the case, you have cut people you would have invited before her.

That said, inviting her would be nice to do, since she seems to care about you enough to get her a gift.  I just don't think its faux-pas not to invite her.

emarston1

I would first find out specifically who the invitation went to for the shower.  Speak to the host to ensure that her name was not included.  You never know what the host may or may not have said to the sister.

If she truly was not invite, Ditto PP.  If she came to the shower without an invite, you are under no obligation to send her an invite to the wedding.  Send her a thank you for the gift and leave it at that.

bltata

If she went in on the gift, perhaps you could address the invite directly to the person who was invited, and thank both she and her sister(the crasher) with the single thank you.  That way, it's abundantly clear that she was an add-on.

You don't have to invite her.

lcsnowflake

I would agree- if she wasn't invited to the shower and she gave a gift then you are not breaking the rule that everyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding by not inviting her to the wedding.

My friend recently got married and my mom sent a gift knowing that she was not invited and not expecting an invitation.  It was just something my mom wanted to do because she had known her for a long time.  I am not sure this girl had the same genuine motives, but you are only required to follow etiquette.

sasha213sw

I agree with PP...while it was a very nice to go in on the gift - I would just send a polite thank you and call it a day.

mel7997

Thanks ladies.  She was def NOT on the list, in fact I don't even have her address to send the Thank You.  Time to put the FI to work!