bridesmaid issues

LatashaO

Having a issues I invited my fiance sis to be a bridesmaid but everytime I try and get all the girls together she ignore my calls or don't respond then days later she's like I had to work that day but now I wanna univite....what you guys think? Or should I give her another try

island07b2b

You have time.  Give her another try.  If she has a lot going on in her life she may just not be focused right now and probably thinks she has time to get on board with you.  Maybe the next time you speak to her you can tell her what your timeline so she knows what is expected of her.

LatashaO

Thanks hopefully we can work something out! I don't wanna be mean and jus cut her

tirathemrs

I say give her one and only one more chance with it and if she pulls that stunt again i would just politely tell her there is a change in my wedding party and maybe she can just be a hostess...its stressful enough trying to plan awedding and get people together and you dont need the xtra stress...

audubonbride2013

If you already asked her to be a bridesmaid you shouldn't uninvite her.  It will stir up unnecessary drama with your future in-laws and honestly all she has to do is show up for your wedding (which is still over a year away) in her bridesmaid dress and smile.  I understand you want your bridesmaids to get to know each other and become friends, but sometimes that's just not possible.  My bridesmaids are spread out in Florida, Maryland, and Pennsylvania, and there is a good chance that they may not all meet until the rehearsal dinner.  It's not the end of the world if your bridesmaids aren't all friends with each other.

RailWayWife

You should not un-ask her to be in your wedding party. She has no obligation to be going to your "get togethers" now you are over a year away from the wedding. She has things going on in her own life that are much more important than your distant wedding, you need to give her a break.

LatashaO

She kinda unreliable me and my fiance been together for 8 years now I wanted to be nice and include her we all live in the same city but when it comes down to the wire I dont need her to be like oh I had to work or something I will gve her one more try hopefully she will atleast try and communicate her issues with things better.....me and the other bridesmaids went to check out dresses twice and the first time she "overslept" and this time she ignored my various attempts to reach her but somehow she knew to call me that day to say she had to work

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2013-weddings_bridesmaid-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:0c4df628-5c86-4382-8f99-5d75e3f57aa4Discussion:f7edd4a8-71c2-48f2-9f66-a1e8d4eacabePost:91246623-95aa-49d4-a173-0e035cedc6ff">Re: bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]She kinda unreliable me and my fiance been together for 8 years now I wanted to be nice and include her we all live in the same city but when it comes down to the wire I dont need her to be like oh I had to work or something I will gve her one more try hopefully she will atleast try and communicate her issues with things better.....me and the other bridesmaids went to check out dresses twice and the first time she "overslept" and this time she ignored my various attempts to reach her but somehow she knew to call me that day to say she had to work
Posted by LatashaO[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It seems like she may just really not be too interested or she just really not wanting to be in it! Me personally speaking i would give her 1 more time to let me know whats up and if i couldnt get with her again and she gives the lame excuses...FSIL or not she wouldnt be in it..i would make her a host or something just to please ppl but i wouldnt rely on her at all..afterall its your day not hers

</div>

SD210

I agree with PPs who say do not uninvite her this far out.  First, August 2013 is a long time away so she may not feel the same sense of urgency that we brides-to-be feel about planning.  Second, uninviting her could cause way more drama than it is worth - -  she is your FI's sister and having her stand up with you (in my opinion) is a nice way of showing a symbolic blending of the families on your wedding day.  It is a nice gesture.  And think of it this way:  Her only real obligation is to show up sober wearing the right dress on your wedding day.  (If you set your expectations low, you won't be disappointed, ha ha!)  It sounds like you have other great bridesmaids who are excited to help you out, so that is great!

That being said, I wouldn't bend over backwards to accomodate her if she continues to "oversleep" or ignore invites.  You and your other bridesmaids should definitely go and pick out dresses - - if she is not there after ample invites, well then I guess she doesn't have a say in the dress she has to wear on the wedding day.   She can't complain if you've repeatedly asked her to  to go dress shopping and she ignores you.  

But if her lack of interest really bothers you, or if it is hurting your feelings, I would talk to her about it before kicking her out.  Definitely see what is going on in her life.  Maybe she'll tell you that she doesn't want to be in the wedding after all - - problem solved.   

audubonbride2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2013-weddings_bridesmaid-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:0c4df628-5c86-4382-8f99-5d75e3f57aa4Discussion:f7edd4a8-71c2-48f2-9f66-a1e8d4eacabePost:f79d0581-5c3a-4894-9b2a-2729a6ab5546">Re: bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PPs who say do not uninvite her this far out.  First, August 2013 is a long time away so she may not feel the same sense of urgency that we brides-to-be feel about planning.  Second, uninviting her could cause way more drama than it is worth - -  she is your FI's sister and having her stand up with you (in my opinion) is a nice way of showing a symbolic blending of the families on your wedding day.  It is a nice gesture.  And think of it this way:  Her only real obligation is to show up sober wearing the right dress on your wedding day.  (If you set your expectations low, you won't be disappointed, ha ha!)  It sounds like you have other great bridesmaids who are excited to help you out, so that is great! That being said, I wouldn't bend over backwards to accomodate her if she continues to "oversleep" or ignore invites.  You and your other bridesmaids should definitely go and pick out dresses - - if she is not there after ample invites, well then I guess she doesn't have a say in the dress she has to wear on the wedding day.   She can't complain if you've repeatedly asked her to  to go dress shopping and she ignores you.   But if her lack of interest really bothers you, or if it is hurting your feelings, I would talk to her about it before kicking her out.  Definitely see what is going on in her life.  Maybe she'll tell you that she doesn't want to be in the wedding after all - - problem solved.   
Posted by SD210[/QUOTE]

^
This is great advice!