Comments..

murphb

Hey all! 

Has anyone else been having people tell them they shouldn't wait so long to get married? Two people I know have said something about it. One is a girl who had a simple wedding that she was able to plan in three months, the other is a friend of mine who's getting married in a few weeks and only got engaged in March.

 I explained that my fiance and I have a lot going on in the next year (student teaching, graduating, etc.) and don't want the added stress of getting married during that time, plus it's more time for us to save money. The second girl commented that it's not about the money but rather about how heartfelt the wedding is. I'm a little offended by that last remark. It's like she's saying I'm being shallow about what our wedding will be like because I want to save money and have nice things for our big day.

Has anyone else experienced this?

SarahM2012

Yes!  It was a little annoying but everyone has an opinion about weddings/marriage.  Money is a huge part of anything you do.  No one knows how expensive a wedding is until they try and plan it.  What's important is that you guys are doing what is right for you and works for your situation; don't lose sight of that.  It sounds like you guys are crazy busy; why add stress?  You're doing great don't let other ppl get to you. 

PhiSigFly

Yup, people are saying it to me, too. When I told one of my friends that we need to save money, and we're planning long distance and wanted extra time to plan, and our wedding date is our 4 year anniversary, he told me my reasoning was ridiculous and all you need to have at a wedding is immediate family. Made me feel like a snob for wanting more people at my wedding! Who would have thought people care so much about when we get married!

murphb

Indeed! It's no one else's business when we get married and especially what we do with our money. We April 2012 brides will just have to stick to our guns and not let silly things get to us, because I have a feeling that this is only the beginning!

Sarah MD

Whenever anyone says anything, I just play the date off as a character flaw.  Like, well I'm bad a making decisions so I could never do it in a year, or, I'm an amazing procrastinator, so it gives me plenty of time to sit and do nothing.  I found that if you make a little jab at yourself, then others will try to balance it out by saying something nice (or at least neutral).  -It also helps that it took us 3 years to set a date, so in comparison, 2 years to plan the whole thing is nothing. 

justad0reme

Sarah you shouldnt feel like you need to excuse yourself by providing a character flaw.

I honestly find it quite rude for people to make those type of comments and will just say "Thanks for opinion but it wasnt requested, we made our choice based on what was logical for us."  or just say that "we have no rush and want to enjoy the planning process."  Although my reasoning has to do more with not having time to plan until I'm done with MA (in June of 2011) and also to save money but that's none of their business.  I only provide that info to those who are close to me. 

quiggels219

This post made me feel so much better!  I get these comments all the time when I tell people when the wedding will be and feel like people think I'm lying when I tell them why we chose that date.  We also have a lot going on this year, a move to plan, the NY bar to study for, and are planning a South Florida wedding from Minnesota and NY (once we move), I have no job right now.  I actually had a family friend ask if i was worried one of us would change our minds! I don't really have advice for what to respond when people want to give their opinions on everything, except to smile and change the topic.  It is nice to just be reassured that these are all legitamite reasons why other people are choosing to have a long engagement and that there is no need to rush this special day when you know you will spend the rest of your lives together anyways. 

lauralazer

Yay, I'm not the only one getting these comments!  Haha.  My coworkers made a lot of these comments for a few weeks, but they've calmed down about it now.

The way I see it is, why should the wedding be the only thing to focus on for eight months of hectic planning and stress?  I'd rather lengthen the time, enjoy the planning and engagement in general.  Plus, we want to buy a house when our lease is up and we can only do one big thing in a year. 

nessalen3

Wow, I can't believe people actually say that to you girls! The only time I hear that our wedding is too far away is when my family gets excited about our destination wedding and they want it to be sooner, haha.

MCCRARYSCOTT

Hi everyone. I just registered on the Knot and am a newbie. I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago. Yes the question asked by millions is when's the date? I say April 2012 and some are like wow thats a long time away. (In my opinion its only a little over a year and a half/ 18-19 months will fly by.) Yes I have reasonings too for waiting. My fiance is finishing his Masters degree in 2011 and i want the extra time to plan everything and save some money. I wouldn't worry. We've been together for almost 4 years now. What's another year and a half? Marriage shouldn't be a rush either!

rerawalt

I get that all the time to but I want a spring wedding.  Right now my FI and I live in different cities and this spring we will still be living in different cities so that really doesn't work.  Don't let them get to you, you are doing what's right for you both.

JenniferJoe040607

I am glad I am not the only one! I have friends who got engaged AFTER me and are getting married before me. My fiance is a chef- so clearly, our biggest expense. We are paying for the whole thing on our own- nevermind the mortgage and other bills.  I wanted to do it in a year, but we'd be going into marriage with debt and thought, well, hell, why not wait till we can afford it.