Massachusetts-Boston

EKobrenski

Thank you! Sometimes this post is great to bounce off ideas and then other times people immediately judge you without knowing your situation.
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Re: EKobrenski

  • edited December 2011
    No worries!  Although everyone here is very good intentioned, I def don't think they mean to judge!  And I know they girls on that post only want to make sure you don't make a faux pas without knowing (meaghan is a total sweetheart).  We'll have to keep in touch about the big family obstacles :)
  • edited December 2011
    Do you think I was judging you? If so, please ask me straight up instead of insinuating it in this post. If not, I will go back to my corner now and I apologize.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think anyone's judging you, as least not in a malicious way.  When you post in public forums, you should expect to get a wide variety of responses.  If you simply requested recs for a $20pp venue, you would've gotten simple answers.  Instead, you decided to add context to your post.  You shouldn't be hot and bothered when ppl issue spot and decide to give critical feedback. 
  • edited December 2011
    Welp, since you left with out giving me the respect of a reply, I suggest you read FollForFoods post above mine here and then read it again. I like to think I truly try to troubleshoot all angles of situations on here. You asked for recs of places with 20pp food and explained how that would be tight on your budget. I alleviated the whole problem by suggesting cutting the guest list or doing the shower at home which you found to be judgemental. I do admit I thought still having your mother throw the shower was over the top, but she is a big girl and she is certainly entitled to do so. Finally, I cited Emily Post for the etiquette factor and certainly did not even get into the fact that showers are not even mandatory. Apparantly this help was all lost on you?
  • edited December 2011
     ps- ekobs, I'll say it before and I'll say it again. You haz class girl ;) What are oyu going to Mohegan for?
  • hapark11hapark11
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Meg - you were also kind enough not to mention that in the land of proper etiquette, it's generally frowned upon for a mom to host a shower for her daughter.  Just saying.
  • edited December 2011
    thanks, M :) 
  • edited December 2011
    Oh, yeah I'll be at Mohegan bc one of my BMs is turning 26  and we got a great deal on a suite (worked out to 30 per person)!Also, hybyrne, to hapark's point, your mother probably shouldnt be perceived as the host.  My mom felt bad having my BMs pay for the shower when they are all just starting their careers or in college, so she is paying for the hall, but my BMs will send out invites, decorate, etc.  HTH!
  • edited December 2011
    My mom was in the same position as ekob's - we're all young, not a whole lot of money, etc. so my mom paid for the venue and they handled everything else and they sat down, talked about the logistics together and what everyone could handle financially and went from there and it worked out great
  • edited December 2011
    Meg - you were also kind enough not to mention that in the land of proper etiquette, it's generally frowned upon for a mom to host a shower for her daughter. Just saying. If that is frowned upon, half the girls on the knot are in direct violation of traditional ettiqete.  Im PROUD to say that my step-mom hosted my shower-- and it was great (for me and those who came-- for those thinking that of course I THOUGHT it was great since it was a party for me).  Slip-n-slide and all. 
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  • sunshine1084sunshine1084
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I've got to jump in here: Isn't one major point of these boards to help girls find non-traditional solutions to traditional issues? If I was looking for a by-the-book answer to everything, I would have done just that and gotten a book! Most everyone here has been so awesome in giving real advice, even when it might not be "the way it should be."
  • edited December 2011
    oh I agree etiquette was thrown out the window a long time ago with my wedding. Do what you want, its your wedding! I replied to your wedding shower post if you want my opinion there.   But with that said- it might be a more fun atmosphere if you're friends/cousins decorate and stuff. I can only imagine if that was left up to my mother, (I love her, we just don't share the same taste)
  • edited December 2011
    sunshine, I think people are trying to help, but I personally would appreciate if someone told me that something I was doing  could be perceived as rude.  At least then I would be going in eyes wide open, ya know?
  • edited December 2011
    Sunshine-- are you referring to the serving of chicken? :) haha.
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  • edited December 2011
    Sometimes this post is great to bounce off ideas and then other times people immediately judge you without knowing your situation.Clearly etiquette isn't the OP's strong point.  I find this new post of hers to be 100% passive agressive and 10x more foul than anything Meg or hparker have said.
  • sunshine1084sunshine1084
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Oh Ekobs, I wasn't saying you were rude at all! I was just commenting on the situation in general terms :) And Evs - haha the chicken fight will go down in some of my most hilarious wedding planning moments.
  • edited December 2011
    Sunshine, I didn't think you were talking smack!  Just adding to your comment :)  And I am proudly serving chicken.  I think. 
  • edited December 2011
    KBackus--- were you hear for the 'menu' discussion a few months back??  If not... it was HALARIOUS-- I would suggest searching for it (I have no idea how to do that, or else I would help...) Anyway-- the jist-- you are a BAD bride if you serve chicken at your wedding according to one silly fool on this board  (not to be confused with our AWESOME friend Foolforfood)-- the lady dishing all the salt into the wounds of brides was pyscho.
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  • sunshine1084sunshine1084
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Yeah Ekobs, I realized that just after posting. Bridal brain - it's a killer. I think a good ole PSA may be in order.
  • edited December 2011
    no wait wait wait I'm really confused on the chicken thing!  Truely beside the whole marrying the best person on the planet the only other thing I care about at my wedding is the food. And I thought I was doing good offering chicken, steak and fish options. 
  • edited December 2011
    geeze.... I meant.... were you 'HERE'.... i'm not illiterate, I promise. ;)
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  • edited December 2011
    A certain bride who shall go unnamed (rhymes with HosyPosy) said that it was classless to serve chicken at your wedding.  It really isn't though, don't worry!
  • edited December 2011
    PHEW!  you almost gave me a heart attack!
  • hapark11hapark11
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Everyone can decide for themselves whether or not they choose to follow standards of etiquette.  It's not a matter of debate whether it is against etiquette for moms to host showers.  It is a fact.  Pose that question to the P&E board and see what happens.  But that's not the point.  I was just saying that Meg, nor anyone else, was judging or being overly harsh.   
  • edited December 2011
    haha-- the chicken at our wedding was pretty tasty. ;)
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  • hbyrne31hbyrne31
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I just went to lunch and logged back on to see all of these replies. I'm so sorry! I never meant to offend anyone especially you Meaghan. I greatly appreciate all of the feedback everyone gives. I just don't want people who don't know me to think I'm ungrateful and a grabbing for gifts because my mom wants to throw me a shower and I have a large family. I actaully posted for the completely opposite reason because I am concered about my mom. And I know that my mother shouldn't be doing this and I think that's what upsets me the most. We are extremely close and I hate seeing her stressed even though she would never even tell me. And just because she still wants to have a shower doesn't mean I am making her, I was just trying to find some suggestions I could make that might be less expensive.And I know she shouldn't be the host but like many of you have mentioned, sometimes your bridesmaids are not in the situation to pay for a shower and I think my mom just wants to do something nice and also not but stress on my girls. I sincerly do apologize.
  • edited December 2011
    So you decided to post a completely new thread accusing Meg of being judgmental..........................just for the hell of it?
  • kates2480kates2480
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    budding in... but isn't it a little judgemental to assume that b/c you are having a 100 ppl to your shower that you aren't inviting them to the wedding???? that's what was said and I think started the whole thing... I had 80 ppl at my shower, all of whom also attended my 225 (final count of the 260 that were invited) person wedding.the bride was just asking to places to have an affordable shower...
  • edited December 2011
    this is a hot mess! Just got back from lunch and seeing this all (okay, I did take a longer lunch than normal, no judging)And I have to admit, we had a chicken dish at our wedding and it was AMAZING hahaha! I also agree with a few other of the girls that my shower was hosted at my family lake house but my BMs did the food, decorating, invites etc etc.  They were all out of college and just starting their lives and my MOH is still in college (my sister) so it was hard.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  It was so fun and I loved it.  You just have to do what works for you!
  • edited December 2011
    Hbyrne - I just want to say Ireally appreciate your words in your last post. Again, I really just try to look at the whole picture when a bride posts just because I know I am hardly perfect and probably over look things when dealing with a sticky situation.::Boston board can now resume puppies and rainbows :)::
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