Massachusetts-Boston

How many no's did you have?

My fiance's parents keep wanting to add more people and we said no. I'm hoping we get a few no's due to budget.  How many people did you have say no? Some say expect to have a few no's but I'm not sure.  Please any advice to soothe this nervous bride would be helpful. Thanks

Re: How many no's did you have?

  • plato79plato79
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    My advice: don't include anyone that would put you over budget. 

    Are you and FI paying? My FI & I are paying and my mom and his mom both want to keep adding. We did get some 'no' responses (right now we're at 20 out of 200 invited, but we're still waiting on just over 100 replies, which may mean more 'no' responses out of the 200). I am hoping to have fewer people so that we can spend less, but we did extend a few more (6) invitations as soon as we received some regrets. I'm fairly certain all 6 of those people will attend.

    Good luck. Just remember if you're paying, you are in control of the guest list. 
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  • edited December 2011
    We had WAYYY more than we expected but we figured it was due to the long weekend that our wedding was over.

    Rule of thumb, don't invite anyone you can't afford or have space to feed.... just incase you actually have zero no's (which of couse you won't).
    image
  • blaharnblaharn
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Definitely don't add more than you could possibly afford. That being said, I think it's said that you can count on 10-20% of invited guests to decline. Out of 119 invites, we had 90 guests.
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  • edited December 2011
    We had more declines then we expected. We invited 140 and ended up with around 75 people that attended. Most of our declines were because we had a fair amount of family and friends from out of state that couldn't make the trip.

    I wouldn't bank on people responding back with a no. We had a lot of people we didn't think that would attended, that ended up attending.
  • dparisidparisi
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Do you have a lot of OT guests?  If not, do not count on declines.  I know the rule is 20%, but honestly I think 10% is more likely. 

    We had 3 people out of 189 decline.

    HTH
  • mia082683mia082683
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    We have not had nearly enough Nos!  Our caterer messed up and told us a larger number the first time (we're doing it in a tent so it's harder to negotiate numbers), so we over invited by 12 and are PRAYING for Nos (just a few).  We're at 59 yeses and 4 nos I think!
    image 180 Invited
    image 160 are joining in!!
    image 17 are missing out!!
    image 3 are late to RSVP!
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  • edited December 2011
    We do have alot of OOT so I'm sure will have a few no's atleast hoping. I know that sounds bad an all but my Fiance's parents have been told three times to cut their list and refuse to do soo. I'm marrying the in laws that unfortunally have only caused problesm for us.
  • edited December 2011
    We see stories on here all the time about serious messes brides get themselves into by over inviting or underbudgeting. Have the wedding you can afford at the list you can fit otherwise you are asking for a headache. It is common sense.

    We only had 3 nos out of 125 invites and we got married on Martha's Vineyard which is a while ferry/airplane ride away.
  • lsnicks19lsnicks19
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I'm in the same boat as Meaghan. Getting married on Martha's Vineyard...and almost everyone is saying yes!
  • edited December 2011
    Except for a few out of town guests who we knew would not be able to make it, pretty much everyone has RSVPed yes for our wedding so far.  I don't think that the 20% (or even 10%) rule for people RSVPing no is accurate.  My advice is to cap the number invited at the number you can afford.  Good luck!
  • backbaybridebackbaybride
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with prior posts, people will surprise you with their declines and acceptances.  My FILs extended a lot of courtesy invites to relatives and friends that they were sure would not attend, but I still freaked out and cut my own list down to make room.  Once you send the invite out you really need to assume they will be coming until you hear otherwise.
  • edited December 2011
    We had about 30 no's guest list was 150 and 120 showed, this was a Friday night wedding also.
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  • edited December 2011
    So far we've had 4 no's.  Our original list was 106.
  • edited December 2011
    We've had a lot more nos than I thought we would. We were expecting about 175 out of 220, and now it's looking more like 160. Some of my family that I was really hoping would come had stuff come up so now they can't make it, and FI has a lot of OOT friends that can't make the trip. You never know who will say no until the RSVP card comes back.
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  • edited December 2011
    We got 30 no's out of 185 invited.
  • love2naplove2nap
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    We invited 161 and our venue could handle 170. We ended up with 110. Our wedding was the long marathon weekend and also the start of april vacation so a few of my cousins and teacher friends had some school trips and I had a lot of OOT guests. Out of those who came, 84 stayed over at the hotel block. We had 6 no-shows.
  • edited December 2011
    Wow 6 no shows. that defitnely stinks when you have to pay for those people and they said yes. Thanks so much for all the answer I will take them all in consideration.
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