Not inviting kids to a wedding

snicoleg

I was wondering if it would be ok to only invite our siblings kids and not include our cousin's/friend's kids at the wedding? one of the reasons is because my fiances sister is coming from New Jersey and wont have anyone here to watch the baby who will be 1.5yrs old.

Beachy730

It is your choice what kids you invite.  Some do an all or nothing policy, some invite certain kids only.  We did family children only, and even that was only my first cousins (since H's aren't young kids anymore).  Just send the invites addressed to who is invited, making no mention of who isn't.  You may have some guests wonder why their kids weren't invited but others were, but thats just something you deal with.

strlzfan11

I think it's fine to just limit the kids on your list to your nieces & nephews.  I personally would invite everyone who was family, but that's because all the kids in my family who fall under that category are kids that I see at pretty much every family gathering.

lyndausvi

I only invited my nieces and nephews. It's pretty standard in our family that immediate family's kids are invited and others are not.

garcias1

We invited FI's 2 nieces and 3 nephews, but his brothers said that they are going to leave their kids with the in-laws for the reception because they want to have a good time and not worry about the kids.  So this means that there will be absolutely no kids at the wedding under 14.  We couldn't invite all kids because his six cousins have 11 kids between them.  It's definitely tough, but we had to draw the line somewhere.

ootmother2

That's fine. 

We couldn't even include all first cousins because they numbered well over 100 on FOB's side alone.

I disagree with invite one child, invite all.  It's your call to handle the invitations as best you can.

sister2groom

That's fine.

tenofcups4me

At my first wedding, we invited nieces and nephews but not the children of our cousins or friends. No one wondered why our nieces and nephews were at the ceremony, but their kids weren't. We have a much closer relationship to them and that's perfectly obvious.

mica178

You can draw the lines however you want, just expect more push back if you draw them arbitrarily.  It's easier to say "no kids" when it's truly no kids, but if you want to allow your siblings' kids, you'll end up explaining more to people about space/budget.

kara811

Ditto most PPs. Invite the kids you want to. We'll be inviting our first cousins(mine mostly, they are all so young) and FI's nieces. That's it though. Just family kids, they have always been there at family gatherings and we love them!

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_not-inviting-kids-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06719188-0be8-4b36-bba3-95a634d38bdaPost:82ad2c77-018d-43c9-b00c-caf14c499b3f">Re: Not inviting kids to a wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You can draw the lines however you want, just expect more push back if you draw them arbitrarily.  It's easier to say "no kids" when it's truly no kids, but if you want to allow your siblings' kids, you'll end up explaining more to people about space/budget.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

Funny, I don't remember being asked to explain anything to anyone. And if I had been, my answer would have had nothing to do with space or budget, since we had the room and money to invite whoever we wanted.

saisongbird

We said no one under 16 unless they were a first cousin.  We had a funny situation because my FIL is the youngest of his siblings by about 15 years, and so my DH's cousins are about 15 years older than him.  It got tricky for us because while I had two cousins who were 13 and 11, DH had first cousins whose CHILDREN were 8 and 6.  So we had to be very clear about it had to be our first cousins, etc.  

I think that what you want to do is fine.  Nieces and nephews are one of the few exceptions to the whole no kids thing anyway.

banana468

It's perfectly fine to draw a line and stick to it.  I think you open the door to people being a PITA when there isn't a clear line drawn (such as nieces / nephews or cousins) but the bottom line is that you get to control the guest list and people need to STFU.