Etiquette

Guests backing out last minute

Hi Ladies! Our big day is this Friday, and we've had a rash of phone calls from guests who now are not able to make for both good and "lame" reasons. We even have 2 guests who said they "need to get the weekend off from work" but don't count them out (why they waited to know is beyond me). Anyways, we have paid for these spots and now have an almost empty table. My two questions: 1. How can a firmly/politely/discreetly without screwing up friendships, handle the two who are dragging things out? 2. On the ones who just are backing completely out, anyone have a good idea on how to get these seats filled? We have friends who might could come...but do we open it up to "+1". Is this rude to ask people 5 days before??? Help!!! I want to keep it personal, but hate too see hundreds of dollars go to waste! Thanks!

Re: Guests backing out last minute

  • Unfortunately, this is one of the things that goes with weddings.  Don't try to fill the seats at the last minute.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
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  • As far as the couple dragging their feet, put them down as no's.  If they show anyway, they'll fill two of the spots that you're going to be stuck with anyway.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • I was a seat filler at a local knottie's wedding. IT was great. Other then that I would not fill a seat last min. Sucks!
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  • this happened to us with 4 people. Less than a week before the wedding.  We ended up inviting 2 other people to fill their place (so 2/4 places were filled, didn't fill the last two). It was totally tacky, but it was our friend's brother (friend was in the wedding as a groomsmen and his entire family was at the wedding as well) and then my bridesmaid had a friend that really wanted to come and his vacation was cancelled due to swine flu, so he ended up coming as well. 
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  • i would love to invite one of my co-workers and her fiance...she's made a huge effort to ask me about the wedding and stuff, but i never really talk about it a work. anyways... they are actually good friends with another couple who are coming from out of town. would it make sense to ask them? i do want to avoid the whole seat-filler feeling for sure!
  • I was at a wedding this weekend and about 10 people were no shows. It sucks, but it happens.
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  • It is pretty rude to ask people only 5 days before.  I might laugh about it and do it for a really, really good friend who I like a lot, but a person like that probably would have invited me in the first place.
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  • If FI could also go, I honestly wouldn't mind being asked to a wedding at the last minute to fill a seat that had already been paid for. I'd be all, "What? Free food and I get to dance with FI for hours and meet some new people? I'm there!" Not everyone would react that way, but I would. I'd do a lot for free food.
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  • Why don't you say to couple #1, "[Sue] and [Bob], we would love for you to be there to celebrate with us, but we need to give the reception hall a final guest count, so they can bill us properly. Would you please just tell us either way, so we can make sure we're paying the correct amount?"If they still waffle, just don't count them in the final count. If they come, the reception hall will just add them onto your bill, but if you pay for them upfront and they don't show, you'll be out the money.I don't have any good suggestion for #2 except to say that I probably wouldn't be offended to be invited last minute. What gets me is that the few people who backed out last minute from attending our wedding (after we had already paid the bill) for reasons such as oh-we-forgot-it-was-our-week-for-the-timeshare, was they were all married and should have known better.
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